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The Fire Sprite
Posted: 19 April 2004
Word Count: 39
Summary: life by fire....
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The Fire Sprite
Flames followed her,
a careless candle
dipped with sleeve
one quiet Christmas,
an electric cookers
ring left on melting
Easters family meal,
a father found charred
dead head crest fallen
on fires black pillow.
John G.Hall(C)2004
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 Skeetr at 13:47 on 20 April 2004
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John G.,
I've been trying to find words for this -- I've settled for "beautifully chilling."
The girl/woman's sprite (whether actual or imagined, doesn't seem to matter) is less elf and more malignant spirit. That the "flames follow her" throughout her days, causing accident after accident and, finally, causing something that hints at the malignant, is suitably eerily frightening.
And I like that, despite the direct language (there is this sprite and this is what it has done), you structure the poem so that the questions linger -- is this just a life of horrible luck? or are there forces out there that are less than kind and not within our control? is this madness or possession?
Very satisfying poem, crafted to deeply effect and it does,
Smith
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Account Closed at 20:07 on 21 April 2004
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Enjoyed this - but what about dividing it into a four-line stanza and then 2 three-line ones? - I wasn't sure whether you might need a gap between the trains of thought ...
Very sinister though - don't ask my why but it feels celtic. Could we have the apostrophes however?!!!
:))
Anne B
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John G.Hall 
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