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RLG
Posted: 05 April 2004
Word Count: 68
Summary: I wasn't thinking of doing one of these, but as I looked out this evening through the window amd saw the full moon,..........
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Outside, the bone of the moon glows,
but within, we lie, destroyed in the dark,
enveloped in a 40 watt haze
oblivious
to the outside world
cocooned in a satellite TV
digital mind-numbing stupor.
Outside, the bone of the moon glows,
But within, we lie……….
We lie.
Only to crawl into bed
until tomorrow
when it all starts all over again.
We lie, destroyed,
We lie.
We lie.
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Comments by other Members
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 Lawrenco at 23:03 on 05 April 2004
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Mind numbing life ! yes got to be said..conventiality stinks!I like the impulse of the poem,well put over.
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 joanie at 23:08 on 05 April 2004
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Lawrenco, thanks for the swift response. I am about to 'crawl into bed' now .......... Tomorrow is another day!
joanie
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Sue H at 07:23 on 06 April 2004
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Joanie,
That's lovely - glad you joined in! Why not have a go at some of the others?
I for one wasn't cocooned in a satellite tv stupor as sky box was hit by lightning last night and blew up!
Sue
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olebut at 08:22 on 06 April 2004
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Joannie
so true for so many I love the use of lie ?
take care
david
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joanie at 09:28 on 06 April 2004
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Thanks for commenting, Sue and david. I appreciate it.
joanie
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word`s worth at 09:41 on 06 April 2004
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Joanie
Another poet to add to the list of the RLG contributors!!
This is depressingly real! Although, I don't watch satellite...except for Arab channels...and that's not often. But the fact that our lives are just like this - so oblivious what goes on in the 'real' world and zombified by selective news channels and 'reality' tv programming! Argh!!! Yes, all too real!
Thanks for posting it!
Nahed
P.S. Sue, how about:
Outside, the bone of the moon glows,
but within, we lie, destroyed in the dark, a powercut by a stray lightning bolt
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joanie at 10:08 on 06 April 2004
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Thanks Nahed. Yes, it's worrying, isn't it? We fall into ways of doing things without realising! Thanks again for your comments.
joanie
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bjlangley at 13:04 on 06 April 2004
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Joanie, I liked this, so true. Thought that the "40 watt haze" was a particularly good description.
All the best,
Ben
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roovacrag at 15:49 on 06 April 2004
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You was moon struck when you wrote it.
Looking up at the blue moon.
I liked it.
Not easy when you have first line written for you.
Well done.
xx Alice
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swandale at 18:35 on 06 April 2004
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Oh dear, how depressing! Very well done, don't really know how to comment on poetry, but I liked it.
Sam
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joanie at 18:51 on 06 April 2004
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All the more depressing because I was enveloped in the 40 watt haze when I decided to write! Thanks, Sam
joanie
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Elspeth at 16:48 on 08 April 2004
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Joanie, have you been spying on my house?
I need to get out more......
Katie
P.S. A great take on the line by the way.
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joanie at 17:05 on 08 April 2004
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Thanks, Katie. I KNOW!! I often wonder if I ought to get out more too! I can't take any credit for it being 'a great take on the line' ......... it just wrote itself really!!
joanie
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Seahorse at 17:50 on 14 April 2004
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Try Polish tractor-pulling on Eurosport. That'll cheer you up a bit.
Very emotive, especially like the effect of the repetitions.
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joanie at 20:15 on 14 April 2004
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Thanks, Seahorse! I am now running hot-foot to the Sky TV guide.
joanie
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gard at 13:43 on 25 April 2004
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Hi Joanie
( I kinda new to this group) I love some of the phrases in this and the concept is really interesting; the idea of the living moon and mans disonnection from this thread of life, becoming dead and seeing a false light instead of the real/pure raw and untamed one.
Well that was my interpretion.
Nice piece!
G
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Comments by other Members
