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Buddha made of coal
Posted: 25 March 2004
Word Count: 42
Summary: Burn baby burn....
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Buddha made of coal
Buddha made of coal
dark before diamond,
a warming pebble.
Belly rubbed smooth,
a thumb anointed
under heats tattoo.
Winter daylight
chilled the flesh,
the fire dying.
Later dead wood
relit the room,
Buddha found use.
John G.Hall(C)2004
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Comments by other Members
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 roovacrag at 18:55 on 25 March 2004
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Hey John
this is different to what you usually write.
It is good.
I enjoyed it.
Loved every stanza, as each had its own meaning.
xx Alice
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roovacrag at 18:55 on 25 March 2004
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Hey John
this is different to what you usually write.
It is good.
I enjoyed it.
Loved every stanza, as each had its own meaning.
xx Alice
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Account Closed at 20:03 on 27 March 2004
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Great Japanese feel to this - like linked haikus - very clever! I wasn't sure about the last verse though - eg the "later" - I don't know, it seems to jar somehow, as the rest of it seems timeless to me. Also is the last line too general in the light of all those wonderfuel (joke deliberate!!) earlier specifics?? Could something more "spot-on" (though goodness knows what) make the appropriate point here?
Best wishes
Anne B
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fevvers at 19:22 on 28 March 2004
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Hey John
I'm not sure - it's obvious the Buddha's used on the fire, which is quite specific.
One of the things that I'm not too sure about in this sequence is that all the buddhas seem to have some use or some final rason for being, that's spelled out by the writer. I'm wondering if you're not trying to hang a meaning on them too soon (if they need one at all). I'd be interested in having the descriptions of the buddhas carry the resonance.
Cheers
<Added>
This bit "I'm not sure - it's obvious the Buddha's used on the fire, which is quite specific" refers to one of the comments above, and not the poem.
Cheers
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 John G.Hall at 12:55 on 01 April 2004
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I was trying to earth the spirituality in the rest of the poem. To point the poem or not to point the poem? That is the question.
This was the original smoothed conclusion:
'Later dead wood
relit the room
Buddha found use.'
and the other buddha was :
'Books rest
on bone ends,
Buddha found
words weight.'
The essence of buddhism is its practicality, its use value is use.
I find this kind of poem has the possibility of being improved to death. But your observations are spot on, both these ends are a problem.
I still feel the need to sit the poem on its 'but'.
Otherwise I feel the poems float off into the ether.
Thanks for the points,I am now re-writing these poems as I do agree the ends are ambiguous.
Cheers,
All the best
John G.Hall
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fevvers at 15:21 on 01 April 2004
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Hello
Sorry I'm not sure what you mean by "its use value is use."
Cheers
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fevvers at 15:26 on 01 April 2004
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One thing I think is interesting is the introduction of the 'I' and the 'we' - this is why I think going back to the third person seems incongruous. I think you are stopping this poem before it's started, your closing the doors to it. I suggest writing it much larger than you have and then, when there is nothing more to write, rein it in. Or, in other words, look at what you've written and see and hear where the poem is. It's hard work, but you might enjoy doing it.
Cheers
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John G.Hall at 16:36 on 01 April 2004
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I have now done away with 'I' & 'we',the speculation is ended, brought to close, brought up short.That is exactly the feeling I wanted to leave in the reader.I closed the door.
This same idea ends my 'buddha made of bone' & 'buddha morning'.
Writing large then committing a act of reduction is a method I use alot and indeed it is gratifying, but in this case the piece began as haiku strung together then adapted into a longer poem. So it began smaller than it is now.
The terms use value etc are used to argue that Buddhism is a process which is only valuable as a process, in motion, in the living. Buddhism at core is non-religious and without God.So the practical nature of burning the buddha to keep warm or using him to prop up books is a parable about the reality of enlightenment.
All the above is open to at least a few million different interpretations, this is only one.
John G.Hall
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