Cold tears hang on the rear windscreen of the car as I arch my back and turn my head to see the houses. They glow orange from the lamps, and sometimes a tree goes past, all spiky with winter. My dad is driving and there’s no-one in the passenger seat, but I’m not allowed to sit there because it’s not safe. My mum watches for me out of the window of our house and if she sees me in the passenger seat then they argue on the doorstep about it. They usually argue about something so why not that. Then I could sit in the front.

We flew kites today. It was cold so I wore my fingerless gloves, and we walked for ages and found a bit where no-one else was. Even though it was afternoon there was still a crunch in the grass. The kite was all tangled up so Dad unravelled it. It’s good when he has to do something. He concentrates on that and forgets he’s Dad, then he smiles.

Once we got the little kite going, I held that and he flew the one with two handles. It looks like a parachute, green and blue and pink silk, all stripes, and Dad can really make it fly. The sky was grey and flat and the kite stood right out as Dad somersaulted, twisted, did loop the loops and other tricks that there aren’t names for. I named one trick ‘the dragon’, and he did it over and over again, and I cheered, until the kite suddenly flipped and thunked down on the ground. He was really embarrassed. A gust of wind caught my eyes and a tear fell down my cheek. It wasn’t a real tear but he thought it was.

I felt like I’d knocked a vase from a table I had to run and catch him before he crashed. I thumped into his coat and wrapped my arms around him tight as I could. I could feel his big arms shaking as he hugged me. Now I was really crying. He said ‘I’m sorry’. I said ‘that’s okay let’s get an icecream’.
‘An icecream?’ He leant back and I could see that I’d caught him, ha. ‘You want to eat an icecream in November?’
‘Yep’, I said. ‘A big old icecream with nuts and chocolate sauce and a flake’.

We ran down the hill carrying the kites, the wind feeling good and sharp on my cheeks, my hair getting hot and sweaty under my woolly hat. The café in the park was closed so we walked down to the row of posh shops, where they sell all the super-expensive stuff. It’s not cool expensive stuff. It’s just weird, and there’s only like three things in each shop, and the assistants are all really rubbish and just stand around going fner. Anyway we found a coffee shop that was open, full of old people reading the paper and we burst in and my Dad said,
‘Two big old Mr Whippy icecreams with nuts and a flake and chocolate sauce, please’. I think he said it a bit too loud, because everyone just stopped and suddenly the room shrank a bit, and we just looked at each other and laughed and walked out again.

The only other open place we could find was a MacDonalds, which is totally against the law, and I had to promise him five times I wouldn’t tell. The kites looked really strange next to the orange wall and a picture of some purple alien. The assistant asked me if I wanted a toy. I just stared at this big spot he had on his chin.

When we were eating our icecreams Dad told me that he’d like to bring someone on our next trip. Her name is Michelle and she works for a marketing company. She gets to meet all kinds of famous people, apparently. Michelle is a girl’s name. My best friend is called Michelle, and she’s ten.

I wanted the doors to fly open and a great wind to blow all the plastic chairs and tables up into the air, trays to slice people’s heads off like axes, a blizzard of fries, a flood of Coke, the manager would come out of his office and be buried in a pile of burger buns and barbecue sauce containers like something out of a movie, where he just sees it flying all towards him and he can’t do anything about it.

Back when my parents were together we never did things like fly kites. We just went to the park and they talked and I went and played on the swings or sat making daisy chains or something. I don’t know why we have to do stuff all the time now.

I told him she could come with us, because I knew that’s what he wanted. His face was all exposed and made of glass after he said it. I could see right through to the grey street behind him. But I said yes and then he was solid again.

As we reach the doorstep I give his hand a little squeeze, and the door opens before he knocks. She asks him, ‘What did you do today?’
‘We flew kites!’ I say, and squeeze past her into my room without giving her a kiss. She’ll come in in a minute and I’ll give her a big hug then. As I close the door I hear the wind whistle round my parents as they dance along its cold strings, playing a jangly tune that sounds like an ice-cream van, far away.