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Poet 1

by John G.Hall 

Posted: 12 March 2004
Word Count: 59
Summary: The poet is always inside out....
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Poet 1

Around the next bend
unopened mail replies
withheld writing read
the half sentence left.

Inside the egg a soul
before love only hope
sloped pen and dry ink
jammed black piano keys
or notes in a smooth flute.

Dancer fallen down,
line dropped from the prompt
cast into the crowd, all thought
forgotten by heart.


John G.Hall(C)2004






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Comments by other Members



roovacrag at 22:20 on 12 March 2004  Report this post
Hi John,
This intrigues me as i havn't worked it out yet.
Last stanza i think i did.
More like a riddle,or is this the idea to get a poet to think inside out.
You got me thinking now. Get back when i work it out.
Good poem,i feel it,damn if i can sort it but i will.
xx Alice
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olebut at 09:43 on 13 March 2004  Report this post
John very surreal I like this very much

david
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Account Closed at 22:16 on 14 March 2004  Report this post
Thought this was a very jazzy piece with some beautiful lines and imagery (eg the piano, the egg jump out immediately), but like Alice I feel there's a lot there I don't understand - yet!

I did wonder whether to echo the edginess of the poem, you might want to split the lines off more in some way (not necessarily regularly) or offset some of them? Or maybe I'm just talking nonsense (again!)??

Anne B


PS More thinking inspired by David's comment - yes, it's VERY surreal, reminds me of Salvador Dali - so maybe the lines do need to be edgy, off centre, "in your face" more. Or maybe I'm just trying to do something you didn't intend?
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