Do I sound self indulgent when I think that life possibly stems around those in love, those with heartbreak, those with pain due to matters of the heart. Those of us that are single, unwittingly or wittingly – we are in the sidelines of it, the play – life is all about those that live the apparent meaning. If we don’t have it, we are subjected to watch and experience in silence. Am I self indulgent when I wish for the pain of love, the knowledge of where it comes from. I look at those crying and desperate and I envy - I wish for the knowledge of what they have and I begin to understand the feeling of self harm.

Life is all about the celebration of love. But what, what if we don’t have it. What if we never feel it coming our way, the puzzle does not quite fit. Nobody celebrates our loneliness, or our independence for a better way of putting it. We don’t have a ‘wedding’ of selves; we are the ones that are subjected to watch. I am being self indulgent perhaps, but why can’t I have tears of loneliness with girlfriends and wine around me.

..Because it’s deemed as pity, pity because we don’t understand. We aren’t quite at the point where they are, adolescence in an adult body. The time, apparently, will come. But will it…why should it? Why should a poor person find wealth, a person with a life of pain and anguish find comfort…is it really as simple as that. Can’t we celebrate what we have, in any which way, celebrate it with as much behind us and as much support of those that agree with poetry and songs.

I am self indulgent. Perhaps….let me celebrate, let me have my own wedding.