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...Marriage

by Bee 

Posted: 05 March 2004
Word Count: 302


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Do I sound self indulgent when I think that life possibly stems around those in love, those with heartbreak, those with pain due to matters of the heart. Those of us that are single, unwittingly or wittingly – we are in the sidelines of it, the play – life is all about those that live the apparent meaning. If we don’t have it, we are subjected to watch and experience in silence. Am I self indulgent when I wish for the pain of love, the knowledge of where it comes from. I look at those crying and desperate and I envy - I wish for the knowledge of what they have and I begin to understand the feeling of self harm.

Life is all about the celebration of love. But what, what if we don’t have it. What if we never feel it coming our way, the puzzle does not quite fit. Nobody celebrates our loneliness, or our independence for a better way of putting it. We don’t have a ‘wedding’ of selves; we are the ones that are subjected to watch. I am being self indulgent perhaps, but why can’t I have tears of loneliness with girlfriends and wine around me.

..Because it’s deemed as pity, pity because we don’t understand. We aren’t quite at the point where they are, adolescence in an adult body. The time, apparently, will come. But will it…why should it? Why should a poor person find wealth, a person with a life of pain and anguish find comfort…is it really as simple as that. Can’t we celebrate what we have, in any which way, celebrate it with as much behind us and as much support of those that agree with poetry and songs.

I am self indulgent. Perhaps….let me celebrate, let me have my own wedding.






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Comments by other Members



roovacrag at 21:21 on 05 March 2004  Report this post
Hi bee,
You can have the world at your feet,love of your life and taken away from you.
On a wedding day you're happy but you still doubt.

We all know the feelings.
Tomorrow the 6th
would have been my 39th year with the man i loved and still do.

So if your going for it,whoooooooooo
i recommend it.
Just call me cupid.
XX Alice

roovacrag at 21:21 on 05 March 2004  Report this post
Hi bee,
You can have the world at your feet,love of your life and taken away from you.
On a wedding day you're happy but you still doubt.

We all know the feelings.
Tomorrow the 6th
would have been my 39th year with the man i loved and still do.

So if your going for it,whoooooooooo
i recommend it.
Just call me cupid.
XX Alice

Richard Brown at 12:45 on 09 March 2004  Report this post
Bee, I read the wedding angle in this piece differently from Alice. My understanding is that, towards the end, you propose something like a single's wedding - a celebration of singleness. It's an extraordinary idea whether that's what you meant or not. And why not? Is it not the case that something like one third of people in the UK live alone, some by choice, some not? How would it be if we sometimes received invitations to 'Singlehood Celebrations' - affirmations, with songs, wine and poetry, of the decision to live alone? The idea raises all manner of feelings and thoughts!
But there's much more in this short article than that. There's the question as to whether it's better to suffer than not to experience anything at all. (I used to work in an institution where self harm, to which you allude, was a frequent event. People gave all manner of reasons as to why they did it but a frequently heard one was 'So that I know that I'm alive'.)Deep stuff! Maybe the article could be developed. I'm sure there's the basis for a newspaper or magazine piece about the single celebration idea.
Richard.







miffle at 10:31 on 12 May 2004  Report this post
Bee, I echo Richard's reading of this and it made much sense to me and no, I don't think it self-indulgent at all - just radical and sort of liberated and brave as if you are taking on a taboo!! or more than one I think!! I.e. 'Single Life I'm OK With It' etc... Reminds me very strongly of a poem called, I think, 'The End of Love' - hopefully the name of the author will come back to me in a minute. Write on, Miffle :-)

<Added>

by Sophie Hannah from the poetry collection titled 'The Hero and The Girl Next Door' She suggests throwing a party to mark 'the end of love' - why not!? she says, it happens to nearly all of us at least once...


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