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unleashed
Posted: 04 March 2004
Word Count: 46
Summary: Idea was about the bit of time just as you wake up before reasoning sets in.. First poem since school with much encouragement and inspiration from an elf...
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stay
A moment longer
unfurl
The waking slumber
do not think
The routine of time
Familiarity
Is not my crime
gorge
Upon the dawn
a helpless
Darwinian pawn
feel
The beast grow taught
Against the stampede
Of approaching thought
stay
do not think
gorge
feel
Unleashed
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Comments by other Members
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 roovacrag at 10:18 on 04 March 2004
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Welcome to WW.
This was good,True to life.Like the third stanza,well written.
xx Alice
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Fearless at 11:01 on 04 March 2004
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This could have been entitled 'on the edge of reason'.
As I wake up I start off punch drunk then evolve into a tornado....or was it a pinball?
I liked this a lot.
Your elf was spot on.
Write on,
fearless
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The Walrus at 13:17 on 04 March 2004
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I think this poem works so well partly because noone can fail to relate to it - that moment been sleep and consciousness - a blissful moment. I like the decadent feel to it - the warm wallowing. 'Gorge' - fabulous word. Particularly love the fourth stanza. Sheer brilliance.
The Walrus
<Added>
Oh and, simply love the word 'unleashed'.
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 cinq at 14:24 on 04 March 2004
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Alice-Fearless thanks you, kind word that feed the baby poet.
Walrus- every once in a while the elf has to be unleashed, I wait eagerly for the next moment of insperation.
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Fearless at 15:20 on 04 March 2004
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Cinq (were un, deux, trois and quatre just prototpyes?)
We all look forward to the next time you are so inspired. Write on,
fearless
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igbit33 at 16:30 on 05 March 2004
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My favorite moment of the day, perfectly captured. Well done! Welcome to WW.
Ig. xx
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miffle at 16:57 on 05 March 2004
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Ethereal quality initially then turns into something unexpected. Like the contrast between the gentle slumber and the 'beast'. Could feel an understandable resistance in the penultimate verse. I like the way, too, that the first word/line of each verse holds on to the reader - as if you are trying to hold on to that sleep...write on, miffle
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