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Poet 2

by John G.Hall 

Posted: 02 March 2004
Word Count: 50
Summary: ancient mariner bottled...
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Poet 2


ship in a bottle
spinnaker filled with vacuum
shanty rigged silent,

reticent waves grip
a sea stopped voyager lost
useless maps burnt,

squid ink dripping
nib anchor snagged on blots
Jolly Roger struck,

coral brains a wreck
words a broken raft of meanings
Davy Jones locked.


John G.Hall(C)2004






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olebut at 18:24 on 02 March 2004  Report this post
John

what a superb image this portrays.

I wasn't sure about line 2 and wonderd if you should remove the word with but that would change the meaning and on reredaing it a few times I think it odes work OK.

take care

david
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roovacrag at 17:08 on 03 March 2004  Report this post
Hi John,
agree with David on this. Superb in what it portrays.
Liked the last line.
Davy Jones locked.
xx Alice
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Account Closed at 22:10 on 03 March 2004  Report this post
Great stuff - you can almost smell the sea. Perfect match of ideas to form - wish I could do that, darn it!!

Anne B
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