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VENOM

by roovacrag 

Posted: 26 February 2004
Word Count: 63
Summary: My grandsons gave me the idea of this with snakes,venom and spiders.All of which I hate.


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I see the venom secreting from your lips.
Emerald eyes with a vengeance,
jealousy and tortuous thing,
long fingernails ready to claw.

Body rigid,waiting to pounce,
hate oozing but no sound.
all he is doing is talking around.
like a snake, fangs ready.

Coil around so no breath left,
the poisonous spitting punctures the skin,
Like the Black widow spider said.
"You're dead"






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Comments by other Members



miffle at 20:39 on 26 February 2004  Report this post
Alice an uncharacteristic poem but a hard-hitting, image dense one I enjoyed nonetheless...'venom secreting from your lips' links the poem for me to lovers, bitter love. Sounded protective to me especially that curious line 'all he is doing is talking around' which seems a conscious and clever echo of the hackneyed phrase 'sleeping around'...Hmmm, yes, how much of a sin is [/i} 'talking around'!? That was the question the poem raised for me...The Black Widow Spider has the last laugh here - I liked the 'haha' factor to the last 2 lines. Write on, nikki ;-)

<Added>

Ho hum...italics did their own thing! Meant to be just for 'is' !

Fearless at 20:46 on 26 February 2004  Report this post
A powerful warning Al. As Niks said, it's dense with imagery. Write on, fearless

igbit33 at 21:08 on 26 February 2004  Report this post
Ouch! you've certainly captured the feeling of this one Alice. Well done!

Ig. xx

roovacrag at 21:10 on 26 February 2004  Report this post
THANK YOU BOTH.
nIKKI,
Not really out of character.I am a woman and we are all bitches under the skin.Must admit i have never been jealous but then I had trust in my men.

Woz
Me give off a warning :o)) tut tut

miffle at 21:12 on 26 February 2004  Report this post
Uncharacteristic of your poems if that makes any sense re. subject matter, imagery, tone!? nikki

roovacrag at 21:38 on 26 February 2004  Report this post
Thanx iggy shows what housework does for you,lol


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