Gorse for courage by crowspark

WriteWords

Gorse for courage

by crowspark

Posted: 11 February 2024
Word Count: 91
Summary: For the word list aspect of Oonah's challenge but in keeping with February.

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Young coneys twitch between roadside grasses
sheltering from buzzards shielded by the hedge
a solitary cat stalks incrementally
claws extended, eyes intent.

Indoors I wash the dishes, stack
white china on a rack. a neighbours cat
rubs her fur against the window
imploring me to let her in.

I fill a dumpy flower vase
primroses, coltsfoot, sweet violets
a little brightness for the heart
a sprig of gorse for courage.

In my mind dragons soar and
dance around the moon
red flame eyes as bright as
stars in a stygian sky.

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michwo at 18:54 on 11 February 2024 Report this post

As fine a piece of close observation of the world around you - and in you for that matter! - as I've ever come across, Bill.
Your obvious love of Nature postively shines through it. Are you familiar with Richard Jefferies's "Field and Hedgerow"? I bet you've read things like "Watership Down" and "Tarka the Otter" as well. Uplifting and refreshing. Spring is just around the corner after reading this.

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V`yonne at 11:58 on 12 February 2024 Report this post

You've managed the list wonderfully and included the tranition from rabbit to dragon and the shift from Winter to Spring, from dark to light, the changes in our behaviours and animal behaviour with the cat called Lunar, the cleaning routines with the china. Really well done!

Just suggestions, cos I know you don't mind me doing that:
'while' sticks out a bit in L3 and L7 and I'd lose 'closer' in L3 as well. It's a bit of a tautology and scans better without those words.

A solitary cat stalks incrementally

Stanza 2 could be 4 lines

Indoors I wash the dishes, stack
white china on a rack. Luna, a neighbours cat
rubs her fur against the window
imploring me to let her in.

Thanks, Bill. Good poem.

Read the WriteWords interview with Oonah Joslin (V`yonne)

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FelixBenson at 13:22 on 12 February 2024 Report this post

Wonderful poem, Bill. Of nature, and watching it change. I love the cats (always), flowers, birds, and changing views out of the window. I love the point of view. Watching the pastoral scene while doing the washing up as your mind is full of dragons and drama.

Especially loved these lines: