Pray for us by John G.Hall - WriteWords.org.uk

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Pray for us

by John G.Hall

Posted: 26 February 2004
Word Count: 73
Summary: prayerful does it...

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Pray for us

the devil killing
cash machine out of service
a father afraid,

our god living
goods made non-returnable
a mother amazed,

my father dying
innocent men take the fall
death given parole,

gentle eyes still cry
israel's hills covered in crosses
goddness under heel,

my father a son
sniper trained on the child
god the hero fires,

I leave hospital
car parks full of visitors
hands covered in soul.

John G.Hall(C)2004

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miffle at 20:13 on 26 February 2004 Report this post

This reminded me of when you go into churches and find little boxes into which you drop a little note with your prayer on it. It seemed to me that you were a little boy posting yours for your family...

It also made me think of 6 little Haiku-type prayer candles burning. It seemed that the 'us' was family - father, mother, son - and i saw this as the thread that linked the verses.

I thought the way that you combined:
'father' 'son' 'sniper' 'child' 'god' 'hero' all into the penultimate stanza was powerful - of course, your father could be/ was all these things...made me think of the complexities of personality and identity.

'god the hero fires' seemed to me either a boy looking up at his Dad (sense of scale appropriate -made me think Plath, Colossus) or an ironic jibe at 'God'!? 'hands covered in soul' (not blood...) sounds cuttingly sad...an enigmatic note to end on. Yes, sad resonant poem...miffle

<Added>

NB are they votive candles?

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roovacrag at 20:20 on 26 February 2004 Report this post

John
This is good piece,reflects the life we are living in and the horror which surrounds us.
Makes me wonder why mankind has gone mad and the innocent are the ones hurt most.
Well done.
xxAlice

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