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Static
Posted: 25 February 2004 Word Count: 49
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Red-hot tears welling up scolding the skin melting away
Violence boiling up overflowing showing through
Frustration Aggravation Repetition Dementia
Clenched fists rising insanity escalating crescendo grow in my eyes
Broken inside Raised voices venting pain lash out
Lost in rage screaming in static breaking down I wish I could
Comments by other Members
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igbit33 at 18:47 on 25 February 2004
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Hello again Rai,
The short lines in this capture the feeling of anger well. I love the line 'screaming in static'.
Iggy. xx
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Rai15 at 18:50 on 25 February 2004
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Hello there :), glad you think its effective. Also glad (i use that word too often) that you like that particular line, as it's very accurate in describing how i feel. :) Much love...
-Rai-
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roger at 19:08 on 25 February 2004
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Hi, Rai. Not sure I understood this, but it has great power - it frightened me.
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Rai15 at 19:21 on 25 February 2004
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Thank you very much, roger, even if you don't understand fully (I don't expect anyone to, it's very personal and specific) it's compliment enough that it made you feel something. Much love...
-Rai-
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roovacrag at 20:16 on 25 February 2004
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Well done rai.
All the anger and frustration clearly shows.You do lash out and its usually the ones you love the most that get the brunt of it.
Hope you feel better for putting pen to paper and get it off your chest.
Well written piece.xxxxxAlice
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Rai15 at 20:19 on 25 February 2004
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I do indeed feel better for it, don't know how long it'll last tho. Oh well, thank you for your comment! :)
Much love...
-Rai-
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tinyclanger at 10:29 on 26 February 2004
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Very powerful Rai, (spoke to me in a very significant way right now...the first and last stanzas could have been written just for me..very odd)
Lots of good images and I like the short, snappy lines that echo the mood of the piece.
x
tc
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Rai15 at 11:19 on 26 February 2004
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It always means something to me to know that I can speak to people on a somewhat personalised level. Thanks for your comment, always good to know we're never alone. Much love...
-Rai-
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