Eddy

Eddy was always in here. Loved a drink he did. He could drink like a fish but I never once saw him drunk. Not falling down drunk anyway  but his mate told me that one night they was both walking home and Eddy fell in the bushes and fell asleep. His mate had to drag him out. We had a laugh about that

One day, I don’t know why, I asked him what he’d had for breakfast he said he’d had one of those big, yellow round things. None of us knew what he was on about. After a bit of questioning, guesswork and suggestions we found out he meant an omelette. We laughed about that too.

There was always something funny going on like that with Ed. I remember another time we was talking about Lee and Perrins Worcester sauce. Again I don’t know why we was talking about cooking but anyway. So he said that he doesn’t like that sauce he says he prefers one that’s similar and made up North. We didn’t know what it was called and of course poor old Eddy couldn’t remember either. He tried describing it to us but what do you think the chances are that he’d be able to do that after describing an omelette as a big round yellow thing. Frustrated at our pathetic attempts to name the sauce after his description he went round describing it to everyone in the pub but none of them knew what he was on about.

He stopped coming to the pub and his mate says he gets these headaches and stays in bed a lot. Then one day he ends up in hospital. The doctor says he has a brain tumour and there’s nothing can be done about it. Eddy died some weeks later and there’s nothing funny about that.

Anyway, I’m off to get me one of those big, yellow round things. I’m starving!