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Autumn Stillness
Posted: 06 September 2021
Word Count: 35
Summary: For Bill's 'autumn' challenge 540. Less is more?
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Autumn Stillness
the seesaw of the seasons
strains to equilibrium
a temporary balance
that I always want to last
strange that it should be so still
thoughts ferment in quiet vats
silent treatises to fill
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Comments by other Members
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 crowspark at 08:51 on 07 September 2021
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Definitely, Michael.
Your first stanza really grabs my attention and a feeling about weather changes, strains to equilibrium.
Second stanza, a certan remorse as the seasons move on.
Your last stanza is thought provoking.
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 michwo at 18:45 on 07 September 2021
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My first reaction to your challenge, Bill, was to ask myself the question: Who can I translate for this? There were three immediate candidates: "Herbsttag" ("Autumn Day") by Rainer Maria Rilke, 20th century German; "L'automne des Canaries" ("Autumn in the Canaries") by Marc-Girard de Saint-Amant, 17th century French; "L'autonno" by Antonio Vivaldi, 18th century Italian, written to reflect the music in the third of his Four Seasons. But: Been there, done that, worn the T-shirt, so I decided to go it alone for a change and was pleased with the result myself I must admit! Are there vats for cider and sangria? I like both at this time of year. The stillness and the warmth of this Indian summer we're having at the moment verges on the eerie and uncanny.
<Added>
P.S. For "L'autonno" by Antonio Vivaldi read "L'autunno" by Antonio Vivaldi.
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 V`yonne at 16:18 on 10 September 2021
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Well I love it! The sibilants in the first stanza really make the more prosaic second stanza work and then the pivotal
strange that it should be so still
more sibilants just tips us over into
thoughts ferment in quiet vats
where the s sounds go to the ends. And I love the trilogy of
still, quiet and silent in the last stanza and the final end rhyme that draws it together.
Excellent work, Michael!
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