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Hell`s Kitchen

by Jojovits1 

Posted: 17 October 2020
Word Count: 121
Summary: Something silly and light. I have an irrational hatred of cooking certain things. Pork chops is high on the list - too much effort, too little pay back. Dippy eggs is on there too and the smell of HP sauce makes me want to heave - unless it's on mince and tatties or a corned beef sandwich. I can also have it on a ham sandwich (but only if there is no butter). I'm a foodie weirdo!

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If a Hell for food existed 
I would chuck in one by one, 
all the things that I hate cooking, 
find quite tasteless 
or plain wrong. 

I would give pork chops the heave ho, 
Lemon Chicken I’d discard. 
To be fair, I’ve gone off lamb chops.
Planning dinners 
gets quite hard!

Boiled eggs bring their own heartache 
in the love/hate to and fro.
Just how many and how long for?
Plus the egg/toast 

I can cook a roast, no problem
and my Coq au Vin’s from scratch
Cottage pie though, brings on fury
and a nasty,
angry rash.

So irrational? Well, maybe - 
but these dishes feel like foe
and if we're talking condiments
HP Sauce is 
first to go.

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Comments by other Members

michwo at 22:41 on 17 October 2020  Report this post
A breath of fresh air from you as usual, Jo-Ann.
My own culinary prowess is more or less limited to ready meals for one and I usually go for cheap and cheerful, e.g. meal deals for £3 from Sainsbury's: sandwich + soft drink + bag of crisps or Doritos and 3 cookable items for £5.50 from my local Asda including beef stew and dumplings, chicken stew and dumplings and all-day breakfast. Sometimes I buy frozen sausage rolls, frozen fish, chips and peas and Bisto flavoured Sunday roasts. Those are my eating habits in a nutshell really. Oh, and the occasional pizza too and sweet stuff but not a lot of chocolate other then chocolate-coated mini rolls.
How long can I last with a diet like this but I like these things!

Jojovits1 at 23:18 on 17 October 2020  Report this post
Get to grips with a good old stir fry or some pasta, Michael!  Much tastier and much better for you (not that I don’t resort to the odd ready meal myself sometimes 😁.

My other foody hate is salad.  Husband loves salad but won’t touch cooked veg but I hate salad and love every kind of cooked veg.  My salads normally end up more fattening than if I’d had fish and chips. Lol.

V`yonne at 13:03 on 18 October 2020  Report this post

Food should be FUN!
I'm with you, Jo on the pork chops
sometimes cook'em for my hubby.
I loathe those flour/egg/breadcrumbs ops 
cos it makes your fingers grubby angry

The smell of other people's chips
outdoors makes me feel sick.
I can about eat a hard boiled egg
but scramblers are just ICK! 

I don't mind salad if it's placed
within a bacon butty.
I don't like chocolate too much
unless it's dark and nutty.

We have a lot in common 
we're both fussy about food.
Lots in common with Michael too
eating other than we should.


crowspark at 13:37 on 18 October 2020  Report this post
I can't compete with poems for comments.

My favourite bit:

Boiled eggs bring their own heartache 
in the love/hate to and fro.
Just how many and how long for?
Plus the egg/toast 

I really do hate hard boiled egg but love soft boiled, fried or poached.

If left to my own devices I will go for instant shop bought meals but I have been known to make pasta and rissote. I do like salad as an addition to a big fat sandwich accompanied by a specialty pork pie (something I am told I should not eat under any circumstances due to my colesterol levels :(


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