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Friends and Lovers

by Zettel 

Posted: 29 May 2020
Word Count: 229

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Friends and Lovers

I am not the stuff of lover, only friend
Affection trust and faithfulness
But no passion, no desire
You want to talk, confide 
You want everything....but me
No racing heart, no aching breast
I do not set your soul on fire
As intimate always second best

How many life-long pairs I muse
Their most lusty partner choose
Men presume these are the same
But she knows life is more than just a game
Desire not love may make the world go round
But wives and mothers need a safer ground
Excitement, danger stirs the blood but
More than thrill and risk - he must be sound. 

But passion stirs in every breast
Desire o’erwhelms even gentle, thoughtful souls
As their words, their poems and their songs attest
I love you but I want you too
But as equal not as master of your sense
Two selves two bodies joined as one
Not selfish grunts and groans of fun
But privilege to share a cherished reticence 

What is it that I lack - benign threat perhaps
Uncertainty or thrill? A will to dominate?
But a freely given self can still excite
To give not merely take can be a sacred rite
After all the rushing blood has stilled
And each has taken what they willed
What remains between these souls
Trust or the sterility of empty roles

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Comments by other Members

nickb at 16:34 on 09 June 2020  Report this post
Hi Keith, it's an interesting angle you take here.  You describe what is clearly a loving relationship, but one in which sexual desire and passion has died over time.  What remains is the solid rock of love, respect and trust.  I like these lines:

I love you but I want you too
But as equal not as master of your sense
Two selves two bodies joined as one

I am intrigued by your use of rhyme.  It feels like it should have a formal rhyme scheme, and in some stanzas you get pretty close to this, particularly in the second and fourth stanzas.  But you have not used a rhyme scheme consistently and apply it at particular points of the peom, particularly at the end to round it off neatly.

The last stanza is more reflective and a very honest response, comparing your view of a loving relationship to what (you suspect) may be a different view in others.  Interesting poem.


Zettel at 14:24 on 14 June 2020  Report this post
Thanks Nick


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