michwo at 12:54 on 06 November 2019
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Good alliteration with vs and ts there, Robert, and we do look up as well to see the colourful explosions, it's true, so it does all come together somewhere/ over my head/ because it's bonfire night.
Nice one.
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V`yonne at 17:12 on 07 November 2019
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I love the title! vioet is such a firework colour.
hard consonants of explosive power
is great too. Those two plosives really stand out.
Lines 2 to 5 are not immediately apparent but the s sounds are like fireworks swishing. Safety. Sounds like thunder and sparks like showers = weather and all of that is artificial and took intelligence. It's hard to believe the Chinese had these so long ago.
As for
The destructive miracle
of torture of the beauty of light in darkness
That is astoundingly apt and so well put. Wish I'd written that!!!!
Of course the torture element reminds us of Fawkes too. Explosions are by their nature destructive and torturing light in darkness... as I say. The final lines give a context to the whole and I think this is a superb take on the challenge.
Wonderful!
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Jojovits1 at 12:45 on 09 November 2019
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Great use of language here, Robert.
Violet vowels
with hard consonants of explosive power
is such a striking line. The smoothness of violet vowels takes your eyes to the beauty of the night sky and those fabulous colours, contrasting wonderfully with the potential danger of the explosives. I agree with Oonah on
The destructive miracle
of torture of the beauty of light in darkness
That's a great line.
Amazing how things that can were originally meant as a means to terrify the enemy can be so beautiful and are used as entertainment these days.
And I do love the word violet! :-)
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Cliff Hanger at 12:47 on 09 November 2019
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Hi Robert
This is brilliant. The lines Oonah highlights are sharp intake of breath ones. The hard consonants add another dimension to the senses in a really effective way.
Great response to the prompt.
Jane
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Practicer at 15:52 on 09 November 2019
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Thank you for reading it and I appreciate the words of encouragement.
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crowspark at 14:51 on 10 November 2019
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Hi Robert.
I agree with what has already been said. Loved violet vowels and the titghtly packed structure of your fine poem.
Bill
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