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Minor Sonata

by Rai15 

Posted: 17 February 2004
Word Count: 39
Summary: Not sure on the structure
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largo heart slows
piano mumbling voice
diminuendo soul fades
fortissimo screams explode
staccato stabs, pin pricks
mezzo piano dull eyes cry
mezzo forte teardrops hit the ground
crescendo pain welling
forte anger forced in

pianissimo sickness felt, cant explain






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Fearless at 21:38 on 17 February 2004  Report this post
I won't comment on the structure, but for what it's worth, I like this.

Fearless
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bluesky3d at 21:40 on 17 February 2004  Report this post
I lika alotta ... have to do the whole thing in an Italian accent to get the most of it... fantastico! bellissimo!

A :o)
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Rai15 at 21:55 on 17 February 2004  Report this post
Thanking you both kindly, means a lot.

-Rai-
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olebut at 08:29 on 18 February 2004  Report this post
Rai

this is quite clever but I am not sure that it works as well as it might not quite sure why perhaps it is a little to clinical, but equally I am not sure either what you do to change it.

I do like it and I think the idea is great I may have to ponder more though

take care keep it up

david
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igbit33 at 16:15 on 18 February 2004  Report this post
Rai,

I liked this. I like the basic idea and the feel of the words. Also the 'staccato' in it's way of reading. It works as it is for me personally.

Igbit. xx
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roovacrag at 16:55 on 18 February 2004  Report this post
enjoyed this, but i do love classical music.Think you explained the sonata well.
like Mozart piano concerto21..Andante,or Debussy.
Well done xxAlice
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Rai15 at 19:03 on 18 February 2004  Report this post
Thank you all very much, glad you all like it.

-Rai-
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