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Doe Of The Morning
Posted: 30 June 2018
Word Count: 57
Summary: Can't really remember why - or when I wrote this. But many thanks to James Graham for his suggesions.
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Doe Of The Morning
Doe of the morning
how faithful you are,
keeping your secrets
when near, or afar.
Your eyes - sweet as almonds
and white silken throat,
you dance like a dove
beneath far distant oaks .
Drink deep from the Lilies
all covered in dew,
then hide with your secrets
the white winter through.
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Comments by other Members
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 James Graham at 21:12 on 01 July 2018
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This is a very attractive short lyrical poem. I like the central idea of a wild creature keeping secrets. The doe seems to appear in the light of the early morning sun , almost as if it were an animal out of some fable; along with the beauty of its eyes and ‘white silken throat’ it seems to know things that humans don’t know. And of course this is true of all wild creatures – I have watched hedgehogs in my garden and thought, ‘You know this garden in ways that I don’t – you experience it in ways I don’t’. Animals are an integral part of nature whereas we are not. They have ‘secrets’.
Another thing I admire in the poem is the way the doe is praised for keeping its secrets – for being ‘faithful’. This shows respect for the animal, a willingness to let it be itself.
The ending is very satisfying, with the faithful doe still keeping its secrets ‘the white winter through’. An excellent closing line, evoking winter in simple words.
These two lines puzzle me:
you dance like a dove
on a far distant oak
The doe dances on the oak? It seems to have climbed the tree! The comparison with a dove perching on an upper branch adds to this impression. I would think the doe should be dancing under the tree – ‘beneath far distant oaks’ (changing to plural ‘oaks’ to keep the smooth rhythm of the line). The idea of the doe dancing is a little fanciful, but acceptable as part of the mystique that the poem bestows on it. There’s a possible alternative, though:
you fly like a dove
through far distant oaks
To have the doe ‘fly’ seems fanciful too, but not so much so when you consider how fleet of foot they are - they ‘fly’ along at a terrific rate. You might consider this alternative, but as I said there’s nothing wrong with ‘dance’.
Let me know what you think of these suggestions. I’ve enjoyed this poem very much. By the way, as well as being a lyrical poem, it could be called an Ode, because it’s addressed to the doe. In all poems addressed to animals there’s the irony that of course the creature can never receive the message, never understand our thoughts about it. It’s the same for Keats’s nightingale: ‘Thou wast not born for death, immortal bird!’ On the other hand, as I was saying, it’s mutual because animals know stuff that we don’t know.
James.
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 poemsgalore at 13:38 on 02 July 2018
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Thank you James, once again.. The idea was the Doe danced on the ground, in the same way that the Dove danced on the Oak. Perhaps it was a rather clumsy line though. I do like your suggestion of ‘beneath far distant oaks’ . I rather fancied the comparison of Doe and Dove as to me they both represent gentleness and peace. I adore nature, especially birds. Not enough is given to nature.
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James Graham at 21:29 on 02 July 2018
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Yes, I think these lines deal with any little misunderstanding.
You dance like a dove
beneath far distant oaks
I can see that your original ‘on a far distant oak’ really refers to the dove, not the doe. It would be perfectly clear if it were written like this:
you dance
like a dove on a far distant oak
but this isn’t a free verse poem and you can’t divide the lines that way. Enough of this nit-picking – it’s a lovely poem, a true lyrical nature poem in the Romantic tradition. I agree that 'Not enough is given to nature' - maybe poets think all that was exhaustively covered by Wordsworth, Shelley etc. But doves and does still exist, and we should feel free to write modern odes to them!
James.
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