Hello Twenty Eighteen!
I hope you don’t mind an unexpected guest.  Anyway, in case you can’t recognize this old bod in a self-driving walking frame; IT’S YOU!!!

YOU, care of the spirit of Christmas Past app which you’ve just downloaded like ten years after everyone else started using it. I know, I know; I have arrived after Christmas and almost missed Twenty Seventeen but my service provider is ET and they always run slow.  The reason you have fallen behind with technology is that you are now, really, really old!  I have travelled all the way over from Twenty Fifty Seven to wish you merry Christmas, but I’ll make that “happy new year”.

You are probably wondering how you are still alive in fifty fifty-seven.  You’ll find this all out shortly, but I might as well say.  From Twenty eighteen the NHS has vast mountains of money available after leaving Europe and floating toward America which was right then becoming great again.  Oh, dozens of trade deals will be struck with countries like Kashmir and Catalonia and what with money from all the toll gates and old Government buildings converted into hotels and vacant flats you have nothing to worry about when it comes to retiring at seventy five!

 Oh, have I just disclosed confidential information?  Maybe you won’t get that bit. 
I should mention at this juncture that we have discovered time is 3D and there are a series of alternate streams of reality running alongside each other.  I hope I dialed the right number and you are not one of those facing a dismal future.

Anyway:  I /you are doing alright from where I am, so Happy Twenty-eighteen and Bye!

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Knock Knock
Hello Twenty Eighteen!

I hope you don’t mind an unexpected guest.  Anyway, in case you can’t recognize this old bod in a self-driving walking frame; IT’S YOU!!!  The thing is, oh, this is embarrassing, I’m a bit strapped for cash and the care home would be really grateful if I could borrow just a little from my former self.  It’s alright- you’ll get it back when you are me borrowing it in the year Twenty Thirty.  

Dee