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by Jubbly 

Posted: 11 February 2004
Word Count: 244
Summary: A very short story

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I will not cover my eyes, I want to see, to stand here proud and cast my eyes over London. The river Thames flows by as it has for thousands of years, murky brown water sweeping up odd boots, dead rats and white-bellied fish to dump along its way. The faces in the crowd are pale reflections of the horror I feel. Some choose not to look at me, they laugh, they eat, and when they do notice, I am simply a distraction in their day. The noises combine to form a steady hum, some kind of music I think. My melody, a joyless drone composed to ease my nerves. Lightening charges streak through my veins instead of blood. What an adventure, my last I vow. But I am not the first. There have been plenty before me and no doubt there will be others after me. My breathing quickens but I stand tall, I am a statue to heroics, I will not be defeated, I was challenged and they mocked but now here I stand before them, so near the spot where so many have lost their heads to blunt axes and the swift blades of French swords. Can I be as brave as them?

"Are you ready?" he whispers

I nod, my fate accepted, there is no going back now.

"Keep your eyes open till the last moment." he says.” On the count of three, one, two, three........here goes,



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Comments by other Members

haunted at 20:15 on 11 February 2004  Report this post
Great little story Julie with an unexpected ending.

I will forever marvel at the flexibility of very short stories.

Well done,


JohnK at 20:52 on 11 February 2004  Report this post
Hi Julie,
I agree with Lousie completely, this is a gem. Just that one word 'Bungee!!!!' lets the cat out of the bag. Excellent. I wouldn't change a thing, except to add a full stop after 'whispers'. I like 'statue to heroics' - I can't think of a better way to say it. Lovely.

All the very best,


Jubbly at 20:53 on 11 February 2004  Report this post
Thanks JohnK and Louise, I wasn't sure at first but I like it now. It's an experiment Becca and I are playing with, trying out this flash fiction, we have a plan.

Best to you


swandale at 21:24 on 11 February 2004  Report this post
Fabulous Julie, although I would have appreciated a big (monitor sized!) gap before the last two lines, I couldn't help seeing the "Bungee!!!" before I finished reading the rest. It built up the atmosphere well, though, and I particularly liked the comparison to those who had lost their heads...

I've recently discovered the joys of this very short fiction, I feel a cult coming on...

Nice one,

p.s. sorry to go overboard with the ...s

JohnK at 21:26 on 11 February 2004  Report this post
Hi -
Can anyone play? More importantly, do you find flash fiction easier than a normal short story? Would it work in combination with Ben's idea of selecting three random words to build a story around?

Incidentally, thanks fort replying within a minute!

All the best, JohnK.

SamMorris at 21:54 on 11 February 2004  Report this post
Hi Julie,

Must be something the air, all this flash fiction ;) Anyway really grabbed me this little story. First I thought the narrator was a statue, then someone about to be executed, and then bungeee! Excellent.

All the best with this.


Account Closed at 08:19 on 12 February 2004  Report this post
Julie -vertiginous! (had to look that one up)

Ralph at 11:05 on 12 February 2004  Report this post
Very clever Julie.

How on earth can it be possible to go in so many directions in under 250 words? Mind-boggling.

And the tone is set so well. There's a sense of foreboding that makes the opening very edgy, dark. And the "bungee" at the end lifts it wonderfully - gives the reader that sense of exhiliration. Fabulous stuff.

The only line I'd question is this one: What an adventure, my last I vow.

I know I'm a scoundrel for fragments where there should be sentances, but I thought maybe breaking this in to two might be more effective...
I could be entirely wrong, of course... oh, I'm really not sure now...

Good luck with the 'plan'!



word`s worth at 19:48 on 12 February 2004  Report this post

I thought suicide was on the cards...it clicked that it was a bungee jump when he asked 'are you ready'...arghhhhhhhh indeed! I wouldn't do it!!

Very nice...never heard of this flash fiction, but I enjoyed it!


Becca at 20:43 on 17 February 2004  Report this post
Yes, a cult is coming on. Julie and I do have a plan. Will elaborate next week I reckon.
Julie, the story told in an absurd number of words is fab. But, how on earth are they bungeeing over the Thames? Anyway speak to you about that. The Thames itself with its tides is so extraordinary, the things you see, and the things that could be written, eh?

PeterOC at 21:15 on 17 February 2004  Report this post
Doh! I scrolled down too far accidentally and saw the word 'bungee'. Still, I liked this a lot, esp. the 'joyless drone composed to ease my nerves'. I'm getting vertigo just thinking about this.

Well done Julie,


Jubbly at 07:49 on 18 February 2004  Report this post
Thanks Becca and Peter, they're not bungeeing over the Thames Becca, but there was a bungee thingy erected by Tower Bridge a few summers ago and I figured you'd have a good view of the river from above, thus giving the illusion you were about to land smack bang in it. Go easy on that old scroll eh Peter, now there's a moral.



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