Login   Sign Up 


Banking On You

by Mickey 

Posted: 09 August 2017
Word Count: 114
Summary: James has said that he finds it hard to see poetry in financial transactions and that banking is too prosaic. But the whole world of finance is littered with double-entendres (or should that be ‘double entries’ – a double-entendre in its own right!) How about this then. The ‘guilt’ in guilt-edged is intentional by the way

Font Size

Printable Version
Print Double spaced

My love life’s on long-term deposit which offers safe security.
Once a year there’s interest on it, but that’s just not enough for me.
So, should I lock my love away or open up a new account
paying interest every day – assets in, withdrawals out?
With such risk diversification, nothing ventured nothing new
if yours is just infatuation, I could lose my shirt on you.
Brand new market penetration where you can take me cash in hand
dispelling any speculation so I can more gauge how we stand.  
I’m banking all I have on you, a guilt-edged, high-risk business practice
trusting that your love is true and you can offer instant access 

Favourite this work Favourite This Author

Comments by other Members

joanie at 17:18 on 09 August 2017  Report this post
Haha!  I love the banking references.  The sentiments are great, expressed in the financial terms.  I enjoyed the fun and the rhymes too.   I like the title.  This would be good for a bank employees' magazine.  Are there such things?

Great poem! 

PS typo:  yours -  line 6

Mickey at 17:30 on 09 August 2017  Report this post
Whoops, thanks for pointing that out Joanie.  I'm so glad you're back wink

stormbox at 21:40 on 10 August 2017  Report this post

more gauge

Love it!

A cross between a humorous poem with an underlying meaning, and a financial word search game! And it rhymes too!

Very enjoyable! smiley


ronaldanne at 00:05 on 11 August 2017  Report this post
Ha! This is clever! There is poetry in everything.laugh


James Graham at 21:15 on 11 August 2017  Report this post
I'm happy to be proved wrong. There is poetry in the language of banking! Not being very fluent in the language, I was a bit puzzled by 'risk diversification', but I realise it's only the money side of it I'm not clear about. Your clever word-play makes the love aspect of it clear enough! I'll have a little more to say about your other brilliant word plays in the next day of two.


Mickey at 10:36 on 12 August 2017  Report this post
I am indebted on account of the interest this deposit has accrued. Thank you

James Graham at 21:49 on 12 August 2017  Report this post
Hi Mike – No suggestions for revision here. No need to mess about with this poem – it’s very cleverly put together, and perfectly fine as it is. Just a few highlights. This is excellent:
So, should I lock my love away or open up a new account
paying interest every day – assets in, withdrawals out?

Don’t nurse a sort of introverted longing for love, go out and find it. Don't keep it in a safe or under the mattress. ‘Open up’ a relationship; it will pay ‘interest’ – that word meaning quite a lot, not just interesting conversation but the kind of interest we take in the objects of our affection – eyes, ears, smiles, frowns, every hair on their head. The interest rates are high! And we put what ‘assets’ we have into the relationship, and the more we put in the more we get back. This is more than just a playful use of banking terms – the love side of it rings true as well.

‘Guilt-edged’ is an inspiration, and so are the rest of the lines surrounding it:
I’m banking all I have on you, a guilt-edged, high-risk business practice
trusting that your love is true and you can offer instant access

Any relationship is ‘high-risk’, especially when it becomes a partnership. (Another business term!) ‘For better or for worse’, as we dutifully repeat, not wanting to think too much about the worse. But if there’s trust, we can quite happily take the risk. (Nowadays we can probably put more trust in a love relationship than we can put in banks! Those banks have indulged in some rare shenanigans in recent years.)

If ‘instant access’ means what I think it means, it’s cheeky – but as true as anything else in the poem.

I would call this poem ‘witty’ rather than just humorous. Witty in the 18th century sense. By wit they meant not just humour but highly intelligent humour.


Mickey at 09:37 on 13 August 2017  Report this post
Thank you all for your kind comments.  I’m amused that none of you dare to acknowledge (or are too polite to say) that this poem is purely about sex.

The back-story that created itself as I was writing, is of the narrator who is in a long term, secure, but boring and sexually frustrating relationship, who is weighing up the pros and cons of embarking on an affair (opening a ‘new account’) with a new, younger lover.

At the moment, his ‘interest’ (sex) is restricted to once or twice a year (birthdays and anniversaries!), but his new mistress is offering the prospect of ‘interest’ two or three times a week!

I thought the ins and outs of his ‘asset’ would be fairly self-explanatory with the dual banking/sexual use of ‘withdrawal’, and the reference to ‘diversification’ is the more adventurous sexual practices and positions that will be on offer if he takes the plunge.

However, he realises that this will be an enormous gamble and that, if his prospective mistress is not as committed as he is, he will lose everything. The ‘brand new market’ he is hoping to ‘penetrate’ is reference to his lover herself of course, and he is asking for her reassurance by her pleasuring him by taking him (cash) ‘in hand’ so he can ‘more gauge’ (mortgage) her intentions.

He tells her that he is ‘banking’ (relying) on her being true to her word and that his committing to her is ‘high-risk’ and will be fraught with guilt.  However, he hopes their proposed affair will provide him with far more instant access to sexual fulfillment than his present situation could ever allow.

I wrote this simply to see if I could write a piece on banking, which James claimed was too prosaic for poetry.  I’m sure you all fully understood the double-entendres that I have confirmed above but were afraid to say so in case you were wrong? - You weren't!  It was intended as simply a piece of mischievous smut although, generous as ever, James has compared it to 18th century wit.  Thank you James, you can elevate anyting to profound art  LOL!     

Cliff Hanger at 10:15 on 13 August 2017  Report this post
Hi Mike

I think there is a long tradition of bawdiness and even explicit sexual reference in what gets called high-brow literature. It can be profound as it deals with an important, even crucial, area of the human condition. The sex in your piece is obvious. You have some very witty word play but for me it is just too much like a Carry On Film with its tired stereotypes.  What might take it to another level, would be if the narrator acknowledged that the lack of sexual activity in the relationship might be partly due to his own shortcomings and that is the reason he is worried about embarking on a new affair. You could make some very funny observations there and it would make it much more modern and relevant. It is clever and funny, just a bit of a cliche for me.


James Graham at 15:37 on 13 August 2017  Report this post
Hi Mike – The story here of a guy who is sexually frustrated and wants to ‘open an new account’ comes across perfectly clearly. The truth is, I did see it but was too inhibited to say so! My comment tiptoes all around it – even your ‘instant access’ punch line -  and now I feel quite ashamed. We’re not living in the Victorian age. But now, reading it again, I want to double underline what I said about the 18th century definition of wit – I don’t mean it’s necessarily right up there with Pope or Dr Johnson but it is highly intelligent, ingenious humour. I can see what Jane means about taking it to another level – the fact that ‘the lack of sexual activity in the relationship might be partly due to his own shortcomings’ is just under the surface and could be made explicit without making the poem any less funny. Even as it is, though, it’s a tad better than a script for ‘Carry on Investing’!


Mickey at 10:29 on 14 August 2017  Report this post
Dear All

Thank you for reading and commenting.  This poem was written to see if I could combine what must be one of the world’s most boring subjects (banking), with its most exhilarating and exciting (sex).  I tried to lightly disguise the one, with the terminology of the other.  It was written from the viewpoint of a guy going through a mid-life crisis, and not one who is anxious to analyse the shortcomings of his existing relationship.  Of course there is mileage in taking a less chauvinistic, more inclusive approach.  He could acknowledge the ‘lowering of (his partner’s) interest rate’ is due to his ‘lack of investment’ etc.  However, that would be a different poem – not mine.

James, my last post has confirmed to me the concerns which I had previously outlined.  I see the deconstruction and analysis of a poem (either one’s own, or that of another writer) is like taking an antique clock to pieces to see how it works.  Having examined the various gear wheels, springs, cogs, counter-weights etc. I have put my clock back together.  It still works.  It still looks the same.  It still chimes the hour.  But it has irrevocably lost its awe and mystery.  It is no longer the clock I loved.

Although I have been a WW member for 13+ years, I recognise Jane’s perspicacity in identifying our different reasons for being here.  When I have previously described myself as a fraud, it would be more accurate to use the term ‘interloper’.  I don’t want a Stock-Aitkin-Waterman ‘Hit Factory’ production-line approach to writing so I have decided not to renew my membership when my present subscription runs out next month.

Thank you all for your previous support and encouragement.


Cliff Hanger at 10:50 on 14 August 2017  Report this post

Hi Mike

I'm sure no-one sees any problem with you being in the group and not wanting detailed critique, so long as you make that clear. The best thing about the group is the wide range of writing it attracts. We're all interlopers, dipping in and out but if you've been a member for 13+ years, you know that better than me.



Cliff Hanger at 11:22 on 14 August 2017  Report this post
PS I didn't mean to discourage you with my comments. You always get a right to reply and you've done that successfully here. It would make it a different poem and you have successfully combined boring and exhilarating in a comedic way. Without reading your work I wouldn't have written Galloway Shipwrecks (probably my one and only love poem) so thank you for that.


ronaldanne at 11:36 on 14 August 2017  Report this post
Hi Mike,

If a clock owner asks me to clean the glass and polish the wood I am going to do just that. I do not feel obliged to dissect every poem I read, especially if the poet prefers to simply talk about the poem (its meaning & merit?) rather than deconstruct its structure. I enjoy talking about dogs without eviscerating one.

In the short time I a have been a member of WW I have enjoyed reading your poems and appreciate your approach to writing. For me each poem is a possible learning experience. I have yet to fail to learn something from every poem I have read so far - from each and every poet in this group. As for being a fraud/interloper I think that it is down to the human condition that we are all occasionally one, the other and both. If you do leave the group I will miss your presence.


Mickey at 18:34 on 14 August 2017  Report this post
Thank you for your kind words Ron, although I still feel as if I'm gatecrashing a private party by mistake - you could say I feel as if I got 'the do wrong Ron' (sorry about that, but I couldn't resist!)

V`yonne at 12:08 on 17 August 2017  Report this post
Oh I just love it and it's so unusual laugh Maybe you should go for the Wergel Flomp prize with that.

Mickey at 17:49 on 17 August 2017  Report this post
Thank you Oonah, I'm glad you liked it.  Wergel Flomp?  Is that for real?

To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .