The Single Market’s tariff-free?
Well, what about the annual fee!
And pay to leave? – don’t take the piss,
our EU imports you’d soon miss.

Why should we do a bloody deal?
we still import your bloody steel,
and sell your wines in all our bars
and buy your bloody foreign cars.

Emmanuel and Angela -
The Playboy and The Gnome,
are bound to want these talks to fail
to help their firms at home.

The Germans build the rolling stock
on Britain’s railway tracks,
the French own our utilities,
the Spanish run our banks.

We don’t want your kilometres.
We don’t want kilograms.
We want our red Routemasters
not your bendy Euro trams.

The arrogance of Donald Tusk
we British find alarming.
To help the inefficient French
we subsidise their farming.

You’ve stolen all our fishing grounds
to help the Portuguese,
and fucked the Greek economy
and brought them to their knees.

So we are taking back our borders
and cancelling all standing orders
we pay your wretched behemoth.
If you don’t like it -  just sod off!