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Straight-Jacket

by Bobo 

Posted: 08 February 2004
Word Count: 58
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The rancid pit of madness
which spewed me out undone
is a black hell-hole nightmare
forever tarnishing my psyche

I carry its burden
on shoulders scraggy and weak
forever teetering
on the edge of hell's evil ridge

White coats
White faces
White lies
of destruction

The prescription
written in tears
and screams
is etched on my heart:

Believe







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roovacrag at 19:58 on 08 February 2004  Report this post
very well written.Madness white coats evil coming to a head pity there isn't a pill to cure.xx alice
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Chem at 08:20 on 09 February 2004  Report this post
"The rancid pit of madness" - what a powerful way to start a poem; immediately draws the reader in close. To me you really convey the stigma of madness. And written so well. The last verse is brilliant. Great poem.

Em
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igbit33 at 13:39 on 09 February 2004  Report this post
This is a bleak, very well expressed poem. I too like the last verse, in particular the solitude and strength of the last word.


May this pit turn from madness
to pool of fallen rain
Where dragon and damsel flies hover
Where tad-poles turn to toads
and water mint scents the still air
Where bumble bees and bathing birds
come to play
Where red admiral's get fat on nectar

A haven filled to brimming
with colour
gentle sound and life
That you alone may visit
Not recognising.
Where on the warmest of barmy summer days
you may dangle feet
and dip toes


Unless of course you are a hay fever suffering bug-ophobe. Then perhaps not.

H. xx
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The Walrus at 13:48 on 09 February 2004  Report this post
Absolutely chilling. I think it would be impossible for anyone to read this poem and not feel its horror. It is compelling.

Fav lines:
'rancid pit of madness'
'spewed me out undone', and
'forever teetering
on the edge of hell's evil ridge'
Brilliant.

Another corker Bobo.

The Walrus
x
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Fearless at 10:10 on 10 February 2004  Report this post
Oh how one wished so hard, so longingly, for a magic wand, to banish the insane, choking coats of white, to be replaced by technicolour garments of vibrancy. A fine poem.

fearless
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