Some people called me strange
some people called me odd
Comes with the territory
when dedicated to the job.

I've nailed King Cobra to posts,
and skinned them live.
Left an Iberian Lynx
spread-eagled in the road,
smashed osprey nests
in the dead of night
(while my TV was on stand-by).

I've drop kicked a door mouse
and chaired the meeting to drain the fens.
Invited my colleagues to dinner parties,
where we discussed stonehenge,
and other crap
'more dolphin in your vegan stew?'

So why do I do it
and why did I train so hard.
why go on
when I could retire
on badger baiting alone.

Gotta understand the environment
to break it down
And wouldn't it be more sweet
to do an inside job.
Environmentalist,
that's me
(But misunderstood).