The New Head by Mickey - WriteWords.org.uk

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The New Head

by Mickey

Posted: 31 January 2017
Word Count: 130
Summary: This one's for James. I've posted it here in Flash Poetry because I just wrote it straight off. Is that what 'flash poetry' means?

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We’ve got a new headmaster
who’s come to run our school.
He’s so authoritarian
and makes up loads of rules.

Unlike the bloke we had before
who couldn’t get his way
(his plan to ban all catapults
squashed by the PTA),

this geezer says school governors
to him, their hats should doff,
and if they don’t agree with that
then they should all sod off!

He’ll get some tougher teachers in,
re-introduce the cane,
ensure, once more, we ‘play to win’
and make us great again.

To implement school discipline
and to see rules followed fully,
he’s elevated to Head Boy
the former prize school bully.

Half the parents like the man
and half think that he’s mad,
but next year’s school league tables
might prove he’s not that bad.

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Comments by other Members

LA at 16:26 on 31 January 2017 Report this post

I love this, Mike! Seeing as you just knocked it off, it's very good.

As a former pupil (eons ago) and school teacher, I have mixed feelings about this 'geezer'. My compassionate side abhors him; the part of me that despairs of the lax situation in our schools has rather taken to him!

Lesley.

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James Graham at 20:17 on 31 January 2017 Report this post

Ah, fond memories! As you probably know, I used to be a teacher, and vividly recall headmasters like that. Most teachers thought they were a godsend - you would have a boy or girl in your class, or a small group, who continually talked when they should have been listening, or swore, or made animal noises, but if you had a head like this guy all you had to do was mention his name. 'Any more of this and you'll be seeing Mr...' The colour drained from their cheeks. But I remember another kind of head, one in particular who used to gather such recalcitrant groups together and talk with them for an hour, reasoning with them believe it or not - and it worked!

James.

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Mickey at 10:50 on 01 February 2017 Report this post

Dear Lesley and James

Thank you both so much for reading my poem. As former and present teachers, your comments reminded me of my earlier piece ‘Classroom Tactics for the PC-inhibited Teacher’ which I urge you to dig out of the archive as I’m sure it will amuse you.

This present poem, however, is not really about school. In the summary box I said it was ‘one for James’ as it was written in response to his suggestion/challenge to do a piece on the new POTUS. The former head’s attempted ban on catapults was a reference to Barack Obama’s failure to get his gun law reforms through Congress (the PTA). The school governors are other World Heads of State, and the cane is waterboarding.

Veiled satire is clearly not my forte so I’ll revert to my usual ‘There was an old man of Dundee’ style. Thanks again for your comments though.

Mike

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Bazz at 14:09 on 05 February 2017 Report this post

I've posted it here in Flash Poetry because I just wrote it straight off. Is that what 'flash poetry' means?

Hi Mickey, that certainly captures the spirit of the group. :)

I like the rhythm and flow of this, good tone as well; it's humourous, yet makes you think about the long abandoned methods of education, and reminds you why they were discarded :)

He’ll get some tougher teachers in,
re-introduce the cane,
ensure, once more, we ‘play to win’
and make us great again.

Does make you think about the methods that perhaps have forged certain men, doesn't it...

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