Back cover words for Eggs, Pegs and an Elephant
Posted: 02 December 2016
Word Count: 101
Summary: I am struggling with the blurb for the back of the book. I am not sure if some of the long words are off-putting. 6-8 age group, and of course its the parents who will pick this up, and it will only be available to purchase online, but still.... any comments welcome.
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Edward to the rescue!
Meet Edward, a little elephant who never forgets, and Pegs, an adventurous chicken.
Together they set out on to find Edward’s best friend, the porcupine from Pizzas, Pirates and a Porcupine. On the way they meet a bunch of colourful characters: a news-spreading crow, a monkey who is good with fur and feathers, and a pair of grumpy rabbits.
But when the storms come, the porcupine is trapped in her house. Will Edward be in time to save her?
(The formatting has disappeared. It will be centred in a text box with the first line in bold)
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 andinadia at 18:14 on 02 December 2016
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Hi Barbara
You probably know better than I do, but I think stories in parts are a hard sell (which is why the back cover is hard to write). Referring to the title of the earlier volume sticks out here. The blurb starts by saying 'Meet Edward...' as if we haven't met him before.
It would good to refer to Edward's driving motivation, ie he's worried or feeling lonely, or whatever. Saying that Edward never forgets works nicely as a theme in the story but it's not a hook to make the reader read on. After all, that's the thing all children 'know' about elephants already. Now, if he was very forgetful, that would be worth saying!
And maybe you can relate the search for the porcupine (I can't remember, doesn't the porcupine have a name?) to the threat of the storm, ie they know they need to find her before it's too late (because they know she'll be washed away?)
Maybe 'a chicken who loves an adventure'? (Or rather 'a hen ...'?)
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 joydaly at 01:49 on 03 December 2016
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Hi Barbara,
Know nothing about blurbs for little kids books, but having read your first chapters, which I thought were delightful in every way, I'm not quite catching that delight, personality, camaraderie and adventure in the blurb. Having said that, appreciate how difficult that is to do that in so few words.
Edward, the brave little elephant and his sidekick Pegs, the daredevil chicken, set off from their pirate ship to find their best-friend, Porcupine....
and maybe rather than cataloguing the other characters, you might be able to mention a couple of action scenes eg.
...Trying to squish into a balloon, keeping ahead of gossipy crow, will they find Porcupine before the floodwaters carry her away?
Apologize in advance if none of this makes sense!
Joy :)
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michwo at 14:56 on 13 February 2017
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Meet Edward, a little elephant who never forgets, and Pegs, an adventurous chicken.
Together they set out on to find Edward’s best friend, the porcupine from Pizzas, Pirates and a Porcupine. On the way they meet a bunch of colourful characters: a news-spreading crow, a monkey who is good with fur and feathers, and a pair of grumpy rabbits.
But when the storms come, the porcupine is trapped in her house. Will Edward be in time to save her?
Issy,
I'm a tentative new member of this group and one of the pre-conditions of my being a part of it is to write a comment of 100 words on an existing member's work. I've chosen you.
You do whet the reader's appetite with this. What news will this news-spreading crow spread? Will the monkey make the grumpy rabbits less grumpy as they are the only animals here who have fur apart from him as far as I can see? Are these storms at sea and does the porcupine live in a house on stilts or something? Are any or all of these animals amphibious given the reference to pirates? Sorry to be a crumbly adult past his sell-by date as I'm sure that 6-8 year olds would ask other questions that I can't even imagine.
Just one grammatical point I need to make: I think the second paragraph should read either Together they set out to find Edward's best friend or Together they set out on a journey to find Edward's best friend...
What do you think yourself?
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Issy 
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