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by Rai15 

Posted: 06 February 2004
Word Count: 182

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You’re a failure,
you’re stupid,
I never liked you
You’re ugly and
no one loves you

Why can’t you let it be?
You’re wrong!
My friends,
they care,
they love me

no they don’t
how could anyone love you?
You’re vile,
you should be shot,
but you’re not worth the

Stop it!
I won’t do it,
I won’t kill myself for you!
Not again…

You really are pathetic,
you couldn’t even
do that right
even in death
you’re still a disgusting

I know!
Don’t you think I know?


stop… please… stop…

failure, failure
idiot, scum!

I can’t take it,
shut up, leave me alone!

Go on, do it, watch it bleed!

I want to be rid of you,
once and for all!

Break the skin!
Dig out your vein
with the blade, slit it
rip it out, cut it up
do it, you bitch!

Stop talking,
the last thing I hear
will not be you

Oh shut up and die!

Get out, get out, get out

Drop dead, freak

Get out

Come on, die

Get out

Shut up!

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Comments by other Members

roovacrag at 15:11 on 06 February 2004  Report this post
Wow,one angy person. I read here someone who wants to die commit suicide,yet realises their friends love them. Like talking to yourself and getting nowhere.Can almost see the tears coming down the cheeks.
No one is a failure they only think they are.Like the song
"pick yourself up,brush yourself down and start all over again"
Well done rai,glad to see you bounced back.

Rai15 at 17:52 on 06 February 2004  Report this post
Cheers very much. I wasn't sure whether it was any good or not, so thanks.


Account Closed at 22:33 on 06 February 2004  Report this post
Rai, this is a painful poem, but I mean that in a good way. You've got across your message and hammer home the point. I like the way you blend psychological and physical suicide in the internal/external voices. Has a great depth to it. Very good. I could never commit suicide, I know it'd only end up going wrong. Have you heard of Lupez Velez? A perfect example of a suicide gone wrong, whoops! And you can just guarantee most suicides change their mind when it's too damn late. OK, this message has turned a bit macabre. See what your poem has done! :)

The very best of everything,

Bobo at 08:32 on 07 February 2004  Report this post
Rai - you've expressed the inner turmoil so well in this piece. Powerful, gutsy writing - quite experimental in style and structure, which is always a good thing; pushing the boundaries. Well done!

BoBo x

Rai15 at 11:28 on 08 February 2004  Report this post
Thanking you both kindly, your comments mean a lot.
I haven't heard of Lupez Velez before, but I'm sure I'll look into it now.
I thought I'd mess around with the style/structure because of the subject of it, glad it turned out so well.

Thank you both again,


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