Login   Sign Up 



 

The Squirrel and the Crow

by michwo 

Posted: 08 October 2016
Word Count: 1288
Summary: The idea for this story sort of originated with a La Fontaine fable, "The squirrel and the fox" referring to disgraced 17th century finance minister, Fouquet, and his successor in that post, Colbert. But the playwright Corneille was a friend of Fouquet's and Corneille is one word in French for a crow.


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


                                                                 The Squirrel and the Crow

I have often been tempted of late to put out my eyes.  The world that I look upon now is no longer the fine and luxurious world of Vaux-le-Vicomte but the view afforded to me by the narrow window of my prison cell in Pignerol, the snow-covered peaks of the Alps.  What was my crime to deserve this?
 
Sometimes in dreams it is as though I am standing at the gates of Vaux looking through the ironwork at the ornamental gardens of Le Nôtre and their fountains and beyond them the imposing façade of the house itself with the central dome flanked by steeply sloping roofs and stone steps leading to the chateau’s main entrance.  But the gates are locked and barred to me and I am a stranger there.  The bed I once slept in so comfortably, oblivious then to the scarlet of the bedclothes and pillows and curtains drawn back at its foot and sides, is now the flagrant, blatant colour of sin and shame and hell.  Hercules leaning on his club on the far lawn runs amok, the poisoned shirt of Nessus on his back.
 
And yet I live.  Three of the judges at my trial who vociferously clamoured for my death for the crimes of embezzlement and high treason are now dead themselves.  Last June even God Himself saw fit to spare my life.   The tower in which I was incarcerated then was struck by lightning and set on fire.  Fortunately I had sought shelter from the worst of the storm in an ample recess in my cell that kept me well away from falling beams and debris.  My gaoler, Saint-Mars, then placed me in the temporary custody of his steward, Damorezan, while an architect and mason were summoned from Paris to reconstruct the shattered tower.  The re-building took over a year.
 
It was during my obligatory sojourn with Damorezan and his family that something small but wonderful happened.  The house I was in was near a wood.  It was autumn.  Local children came there to pick mushrooms.  I sometimes watched them as they did so.  They spoke to each other now and again in the Italian of Piedmont.  On this particular day I heard distinctly one of them exclaim:  Guardate lo scoiattolo!  Guardate il corvo!  Look at the squirrel!  Look at the crow!  The squirrel was scurrying at speed up a vertical tree trunk no doubt preparing its bed for the winter and I instinctively remembered my Fouquet family motto:  Quo non ascendam.  To what will I not ascend.  The crow was nervously shuffling from left to right, opening and closing its wings, on the same topmost branch as the squirrel.  ‘Corvo’ in Italian.  ‘Corneille’ in French.  And suddenly I was transported to a time before my trial when life was good.
 
The high point of my happiness at Vaux was not the ill-starred feast of 1661 but two years before that when Pierre Corneille read to us and I was privileged to witness the play that I had more or less commissioned which effectively marked his return to the stage after a seven-year absence, “Oedipus”.  Not the Oedipus of Seneca and Sophocles admittedly.  The death of Jocasta and Oedipus blinding himself happened offstage and the love between Theseus and Dircé was what really counted.  Love was always important for Pierre.  He was fifty-three then and still had an eye for the ladies, for Mademoiselle du Parc in particular.  I think Madame de Sévigné, a widow who had lost her philandering husband eight years previously and was only in her early thirties even then, in 1659, who idolized Pierre from a distance, was jealous.  What did he choose to read to us when he came to Vaux that year?  He had spent his theatrical exile in translating the Imitatio Christi into French verse, encouraged in this endeavour by our regent, Anne of Austria.  Another reason for it, which may well have been made up to amuse an audience, was that one of his lesser known plays had offended Chancellor Séguier, the chief judge at my subsequent trial strangely enough, who had asked him to go to confession at the Nazareth convent in Paris of which Séguier was the founder.  His penance had been not three Our Fathers and three Hail Marys, but to translate all four books of “The Imitation of Christ”.
 
For the first time in 1659 volume I of this labour of love had been printed in Rouen by L. Maurry for Robert Ballard, official publisher of the King’s Music and Pierre had brought a copy with him to our reading room in Vaux.  The “Imitation” starts in Book I, chapter 1 with a quote from John’s Gospel – John 8:12 – which Corneille had paraphrased as:

Happy the road to which my voice invites.
Darkness my disciples overtakes not
And, in my footsteps, each day will bring what
Gives to human hearts a life-giving light…
It continues – these words now for me are indelible – with a memorable section on vanity:
Vanity it is to pile wealth on wealth,
Vanity to seek honours for oneself,
Vanity to choose a sovereign good
In sensual pleasures and carnal love,
Vanity to want to lengthen our days
Not taking trouble to improve our ways,
To like a long life neglecting a right,
To live for today without future thought,
Setting more store by a brief bauble bright
Than the eternity we were once taught…
 
Who made you?  God made me.  Why did God make you?  God made me to know Him, love Him and serve Him in this world and to be happy with Him forever in the next.  Why, even Jacques Bénigne Bossuet, renowned in Paris for his pulpit oratory, for all his youthful eloquence, could preach no better sermon in the chapel of the Louvre itself.
 
And, talking of the Louvre, I nearly went there in November of that year, but only got as far as the Petit Bourbon Theatre behind it where, in the company of all the stars then of our literary firmament including Gilles Ménage, that long-time friend of the blue stockings Catherine de Vivonne and Madame de Lafayette, we attended the first performance of “The Affected Ladies”.  How we laughed at Monsieur Molière’s delightful farce!  And even the witty habitués of the blue room at the Hôtel de Rambouillet had to admit that the play found its mark…
 
And now I am back once again in my cell with my view of the Alps.  Louvois, the minister of war and home affairs, now has the ear of the king in Versailles, built to belittle the conspicuous consumption I was foolish enough to exhibit with Vaux, and has seen fit to refuse me the works of Saints Augustine and Jerome in Latin, but not those of that subtle theologian Saint Bonaventure.  In addition my request for a dictionary of rhymes in French has been granted as has my request for writing paper.  Perhaps I will do for Bonaventure what my friend Pierre Corneille did for Thomas à Kempis and translate his Itinerarium mentis ad Deum or “Journey of the Mind to God” into solid French verse.  I shall at least expend my very best efforts on this project.  Thank God I no longer like Oedipus entertain the wish to pluck out my eyes.  The character in Corneille’s play who, at the end of Act Five, reports this tragic reaction of his master to a moral dilemma is called Dymas.  Replace the Greek i with an ordinary one and what do you get?  You get Dimas.  Dimas was the good thief on the cross who accepted that his punishment was just. 
 
 
 
 






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



Cliff Hanger at 13:43 on 14 October 2016  Report this post
Michael

This is an excellent evocation of place and time. The first section really absorbs you into the world you are describing. It feels like the beginning of a french classic novel. You use detail very well. My only thoughts would be that the section that starts

The high point of my happiness at Vaux

gets very detailed and jumps about from concept to concept almost like you're trying to cram in as much of your and the character's knowledge as you can in a short space. It's wonderful knowledge but I wonder if you might tease it out a little and concentrate on the main things that you feel make the narrative rather than relaying facts. Perhaps if you brought the story back to the Squirrel and the Crow somehow at the end this would help.

Just a bit of tweaking would really improve a clever and well written piece for me.

Definitely worth working on.

Hope this helps.

Jane



michwo at 14:37 on 14 October 2016  Report this post
Jane,
Thanks for your comment.  It is helpful though quite a lot of what I've written tends to belong to the past and not just the past of historical fiction unfortunately.  I don't get many ideas and not all the ones I do get lend themselves to being acted on.  I'm currently following another work of historical fiction by Judie in Australia and finding it quite hard going to be honest, but I'd like her to take notice of this as well.  Thank you for reading it.

AlanRain at 11:19 on 16 October 2016  Report this post
Michael, the opening:

I have often been tempted of late to put out my eyes. 


is gripping. It whets the appetite to know the character's situation and how he deals with it. However, the story meanders and the great potential isn't realised, at least not for me. When the character saw and heard the children, I assumed he would be prompted to escape by the hint of freedom. Not so. I would suggest that the following backstory is disproportionately long compared to the length of the whole?
I also lost track of the number of named characters.
The first four paragraphs are engaging, and if the story were mine, I would use more direct action symbolically related to the interaction between the two creatures of the title.
Hope this helps.

michwo at 18:06 on 16 October 2016  Report this post
Alan,
Thank you for you cogent critique.  I never envisaged this as being about escaping from a situation, but rather as coming to terms with it and the reason for that first sentence for me is the parallel story of Oedipus and the fact that the character in Corneille's play, Dymas, can become Dimas the good thief  on the cross next to Christ's who accepted his punishment.  Easier said than done admittedly.

AlanRain at 19:09 on 16 October 2016  Report this post
Michael, you must realise that your knowledge of the theatre of your period is overwhelming to most readers. I am, I admit a complete non-starter with it. As a result I look for some meaning to grasp. That's why I enjoyed the first section, but then lost focus.
Having said that, I have no answer to whether you should 'dumb down' to those like myself.
I am not being flippant here. In my novel I use my knowledge of art history to make points and add vividness to description. Most readers are confused by this. But I'm unwilling to remove parts of the story that I consider important.

michwo at 20:47 on 16 October 2016  Report this post
Alan,
As to historical research I never quite know when enough is enough.  I told Catkin (a.k.a. Nem) I was going to submit three stories based on particular historical periods one after the other on CC.  Your knowledge of art history may come in useful for "Supper at Emmaus", a painting by Iacopo Carucci or Pontormo rather than the more famous one by Caravaggio which was basically an excuse to get a rare edition of P's diary and find out that he visited a local monastery to chill out occasionally.  It is a bit forced I must admit and my knowledge of 16th century Florence is pretty sketchy at best.  Perhaps you'll know more about this period than I do in which case I'll have to take notice of you!

Catkin at 00:17 on 17 October 2016  Report this post
This is a story about acceptance. The narrator starts by not understanding what he has done to deserve his punishment, and wishing, in his despair, to injure himself. He moves from this to a realisation that he has done wrong, and that his punishment is a just one.

The thing that hit me most forcefully about this story is that it seems to be a much longer work struggling to get out of its very short story form. There is so much potentially fascinating stuff here that is only touched on briefly. There is probably enough material for an entire novel packed into these 1,300 words.

I have often been tempted of late to put out my eyes.  The world that I look upon now is no longer the fine and luxurious world of Vaux-le-Vicomte but the view afforded to me by the narrow window of my prison cell in Pignerol, the snow-covered peaks of the Alps.  What was my crime to deserve this?

Great beginning.

 

Sometimes in dreams it is as though I am standing at the gates of Vaux looking through the ironwork at the ornamental gardens of Le Nôtre and their fountains and beyond them the imposing façade of the house itself with the central dome flanked by steeply sloping roofs and stone steps leading to the chateau’s main entrance.

Evocative, and I like the way it mirrors the view he has from his cell. It’s not until much later that we realise that this was his own house. I think you should say that it was his straight away, otherwise we don’t know what it meant to him. It could just be somewhere that he used to visit as a guest. Was this magnificent house the reason why he committed his crimes? Did he need the money to pay for the upkeep of such a grand place? I would love to know some more details about his crime.

Hercules leaning on his club on the far lawn runs amok, the poisoned shirt of Nessus on his back.

I know what you mean: he is imagining that the statue in that pose is running amok. But the way it’s written makes it sound as if Hercules is both leaning on his club and running amok at the same time.
 

Three of the judges at my trial who vociferously clamoured for my death for the crimes of embezzlement and high treason are now dead themselves.

This really makes the reader (well, this reader) want to know why they died.

The tower in which I was incarcerated then was struck by lightning and set on fire

This is what I mean by there being enough material for a novel. Just this line could be a whole chapter - and, probably, a pretty exciting chapter, too.
 

It was during my obligatory sojourn with Damorezan and his family


This is interesting, but it’s not explained in any detail. So, what exactly happened? Did he go to live in a ordinary house? Was that quite a usual thing at that time? Were they not worried that he would try to escape, or did they have him in irons or some other form of restraint? There is so much of potential interest here; for instance, Damorezan is here just a name, and there are no details given about what his home was like, or what the narrator’s life was like when he was there. Was it a much better and more comfortable life? Did he get on well with this Damorezan and his family? Did they develop a relationship?

To the narrator, what was wonderful about seeing the crow was that it reminded him of a playwright he admired. Fair enough, but I think you could be missing a chance here to make the sighting of these animals into an allegory of the narrator’s situation. I’d like to see the squirrel and the crow become symbolic in some way.

To what will I not ascend

I don’t understand this motto.

The information about plays at Vaux is quite dense. Again, fair enough, but there is so much of it that I feel it unbalances the story. I get the point that this life of the theatre was the narrator’s passion, but sadly, with all the other potentially interesting things just skimmed over in this story, all these details aren’t really what the reader is going to want at this point - the reader wants to know what it was like to leave prison for while and live with a family. The reader wants to know exactly how it feels to be in the present cell - what it looks like and smells like; how cold it is, how hungry he is, etc. All the details about theatrical personalities and particular plays could work, but I think they could only work in a longer piece, so they no longer unbalance the whole thing. If you want to keep it short, I’d consider picking one particular scene from the happy life at Vaux, and dramatising that. Really bring it alive - a wonderful memory of a life he has lost. This sort of thing:

Love was always important for Pierre.  He was fifty-three then and still had an eye for the ladies, for Mademoiselle du Parc in particular.  I think Madame de Sévigné, a widow who had lost her philandering husband eight years previously and was only in her early thirties even then, in 1659, who idolized Pierre from a distance, was jealous.

- doesn’t seem all that relevant. It is rather wandering off the point, and introducing characters and situations that simply don’t need to be here. It does nothing to show what a wonderful life the narrator had; it’s more like social chit-chat. It would be much more effective to settle on one moment with one of these people, and show that in detail. “How well I remember the great joy of talking to this fascinating man one night in the red drawing room with the candles flickering ...” that sort of thing.

conspicuous consumption

This phrase sounds too modern - it may well be something that was said then, but it give the impression of being modern, even if it isn’t.


You’re writing about how the love of literature saves this man, and helps him to come to an acceptance of his life as it is now. It gives him the strength to be positive about his life, and decide to make something of it. It's a worthwhile subject for a story, but I think that in order to make it work, the love of literature really needs to be shown, so that it is felt by the reader. The narrator talks an awful lot about it, but there is not much in all his talk that is capable of having an emotional impact on the reader - or, for that matter, an intellectual one, as it is all so crammed in and busy. So, in conclusion: I think that what this needs is more real, physical, sensory detail about both his prison life and his former life, and fewer characters who do not have a real part to play. Personally, I’d concentrate on Pierre and drop the others. And if you could concentrate on just one or two works of literature which inspire the narrator, that would make the whole thing much neater and clearer.

P.S.

I told Catkin (a.k.a. Nem)


- We're never going to understand each other about this, are we? And that's the last time I ever sign a private mail to someone I don't know well with my own name! wink In my world, WW mails are private and here on the boards is public. I don't use my real name in public, if I can possibly help it. I don't use even half my real name. Now all the new members of CC are going to wonder who this mysterious Catkin person really is, until they get to know me really well. My own fault ...

michwo at 07:19 on 17 October 2016  Report this post
Sorry for the gaffe.  I will endeavour to be more circumspect in future.  Yes, the damage is done.  Sorry.
As to the actual writing I'm probably too impatient at this moment in time to genuinely take on board a fraction of what you suggest.  My mind is far too restless for a long-term time-consuming project.  Unlike Judie I wouldn't do it justice.
Thank you for your patience anyway.

AlanRain at 10:11 on 17 October 2016  Report this post

I'm probably too impatient at this moment in time to genuinely take on board a fraction of what you suggest. 


Michael, do you think it's discouraging for those who give you detailed critiques to read this?
 

<Added>

It's almost as discouraging as doing a thorough critique for someone and getting no thanks or acknowledgement for it.

Catkin at 10:33 on 17 October 2016  Report this post

As to the actual writing I'm probably too impatient at this moment in time to genuinely take on board a fraction of what you suggest


Well, that is what we do in this group. We take work apart and critique it for each other, in the hope that we can use the ideas and opinions of others to help with the re-write of a better version.

If you don't want in-depth critiques at this point, but you just want to have your work read and maybe get brief comments, that's fine - just say so at the foot of your next piece (so we don't miss seeing it), the we won't spend hours giving you opinions that you can't make use of at this particular time. You are welcome to post work here and get brief comments, and to read and give brief comments for others, if that's the way you want to do it.

Sorry for the gaffe


S'OK - not a gaffe. A failure of email communication.

<Added>

then we won't .. hate it when the edit won't let you edit ...

scriever at 13:04 on 17 October 2016  Report this post
I loved the period feel of this; the sentence structure alone transports you back to the 17th century. Not an easy thing to do, and it's carried out very successfully here. I found some of the references a little obscure, but it made me want to find out more about Fouquet and Corneille. Like one of the commenters above, I feel that the story could be expanded without losing its shape and interest; some of the descriptions are a little brief and would benefit from a little expansion - I'm thinking in particular about the description of the view from his prison window, which I found a little confusing.

I would also suggest a little more about the fable of the squirrel and the crow, as that's the title. Look forward to readiung an expanded version!

Ross   


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .