Et in Arcadia ego
Posted: 23 September 2016
Word Count: 145
Summary: Cliff Hanger introduced me to this villanelle form, though I was already familiar with virelai and rondeau (cf. previous submissions The Chart of Tenderness and Love's Torments.) This poem is based on the picture of the same name by Poussin in the Louvre.
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Et in Arcadia ego
Even in Arcady death and decay.
Three shepherds are confronted by a tomb.
Athena steadies one man there you’d say.
The man she steadies gazes up her way
And bridles at this sarcophagus room.
Even in Arcady death and decay.
The shepherd next to him has kneeled to pray.
Athena and the third one standing loom.
Athena steadies one man there you’d say.
What’s this impervious to light of day?
This stone, unlike a horse, eschews a groom.
Even in Arcady death and decay.
The corpse inside lies untouched by sun’s ray
Or will it just be bare bones lie there soon?
Athena steadies one man there you’d say.
The tranquil scene’s unmarred by donkey’s bray
And in the sky no witch rides on a broom.
Even in Arcady death and decay.
Athena steadies one man there you’d say.
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Comments by other Members
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 Cliff Hanger at 18:54 on 25 September 2016
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Michael,
I'm not sure that 'Paul A Not Very Villanelle' should really count as an inspiration for the form but I'm glad you've found it so. Alan is really the specialist in that line so hopefully he can comment on this more fully than I can. It seems to fit the brief for a villanelle and the repeating refrain
Even in Arcady death and decay
is quite haunting and philosophical. In its tone it definitely gives an image of a painting that would be held in the Louvre with all the classical references etc. In my head I can see a work like a tapestry or old wall hanging with faded reds and golds.
Enjoyable and adept.
Jane
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 michwo at 19:02 on 25 September 2016
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Thanks, Jane.
I'm hoping Alan will comment eventually on "The Novel on the Tram" which I've described as a long short story.
He's probably the only person so far to have read the sample - Part I - I posted to the Short Story Writers Group.
I recently posted the story in its entirety to Critique Central.
Fingers crossed he'll have the patience and the stamina to get through a story of 8000 words plus!
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 AlanRain at 19:13 on 25 September 2016
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Alan is really the specialist in that line
Jane, thank you for your accolade, but I don't think the writing of two villanelles qualifies me in any way. I am going to take a look at this one, though.
Fingers crossed he'll have the patience and the stamina
On my to-do list, Michael. Please be patient.
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AlanRain at 21:55 on 25 September 2016
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I did a little research on this painting. While I am very much into 19th & 20th C. art, I am not strong on Poussin and his period.
A villanelle, constructed to standard form, on the subject of a particular painting certainly does appeal to me.
Iambic pentameter is traditionally used, but here I think there is some flexibility:
Even in Arcady death and decay.
I see this refrain as trochaic, not iambic. (I am not altogether sure about Arcady) It means the line end is on a downbeat.
The second refrain:
Athena steadies one man there you’d say.
is iambic, although I read 'man' as stressed. Others may not.
I read that some do think the female figure is Athena, but it is not certain. I would question if Athena is actually interfering with the man's discovery. Her presence might be for other purposes. Historically, it seems unclear, and open to interpretation. But the line begs agreement from the reader, and I find that a distraction. Should it be a question?
Nevertheless, it takes a positive stance.
So, for me, the two refrains satisfy the requirement to be flexible and memorable.
The man she steadies gazes up her way
Apart from my issue with 'steadies', this is repetition that jars, and feels unnecessary. I'm not keen on this line. 'Up her way' is ... unrefined?
I do like the next line, particularly 'bridles' which perfectly captures his alarm.
The third stanza starts with a bare fact, but we can see this for ourselves, so I am not sure of the purpose.
Athena and the third one standing loom. (a low-level stress on 'and')
Again, I'm wondering why the poem is merely describing the layout. Could it go deeper? Here, I have a suspicion that 'loom' is there because of the necessity of the rhyme. As a line of poetry, it is awkward.
I do appreciate the effort to maintain iambic pentameter.
What’s this impervious to light of day?
Not consistent metre to my eyes. Also, I feel a noun is missing. I assume this line refers to the tomb.
Good second line for rhythm and imaginative meaning. IMO, this is a better strategy than straight description.
The corpse inside lies untouched by sun’s ray
For me, the iambic metre falls down here. It's also rather prosaic as description.
I like the next line that questions the contents of the tomb. It refers, I assume, to the mortality of the shepherds, which is the main theme of the painting.
The final stanza might offer some resolution, or insight? I am a bit puzzled by the reference to a donkey. I haven't noticed a donkey in the picture, but I am looking at a small, low-resolution picture. Of course, it is entirely appropriate that a shepherd would have a donkey, but I can't help thinking the problem of rhyme is driving this line.
Is it a tranquil scene? Not for me. maybe outwardly, but it's actually one of revelation and consequently, unease.
The next line, is, IMO, quite weak. It reduces the importance of the art to black magic comedy. Again, I feel the lack of rhyming words has driven the line.
Overall, I admire the effort here. It's a difficult form, and you've kept - mostly - to standard form.
I think after writing this poem, you will realise how important it is to choose your rhymes and refrains carefully. This is a good job, and can be developed. If it were mine, I would investigate the possible readings of the subject of the painting, and omit the straight descriptions.
Hope something helps.
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AlanRain at 22:12 on 25 September 2016
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I forget to suggest that you could leave the poem up for a while (weeks instead of days). It would give other group members time to respond.
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michwo at 22:20 on 25 September 2016
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Alan,
The first two lines of the last stanza were sort of an allusion to Salvatore Rosa, a 17th century painter who I think once took as his subject a witches' sabbath, though I may be confusing him with someone else. Certainly his landscapes were much less tranquil than Poussin's - darker and more threatening on the whole - and he influenced Poussin's brother-in-law, Gaspard Dughet. You are right, of course, to say that the need to maintain the rhymes drove this poem as much as anything. The only reason for mentioning a donkey is that Rosa might have included one along with brigands in a picture - no, tell the truth, it was the fact that donkeys bray!
Thank you for your interest in the metre. I know that English is a stress timed language as opposed to French which is syllabic, but I don't consciously act on this most of the time as di-dum-di-dum-di-dum-di-dum-di-dum surely gets quite boring in the long run, so why not trochees, why not anapests and dactyls, etc.? I'd be hard put to defend myself rhythmically admittedly. I'm pretty much an amateur who likes the relative safety of fixed forms and rhyme schemes. Rare are the poems I've written where the thought is what matters most and rhyme schemes are out of the window. Apart from haikus there are two though, one of them being "Ode to Ballaké Sissoko" and the other, which I may post some time, has the title "Flower Arranging".
Thank you for the time and effort you've taken to comment at length on my one and only villanelle so far.
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AlanRain at 22:33 on 25 September 2016
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I don't consciously act on this most of the time as di-dum-di-dum-di-dum-di-dum-di-dum surely gets quite boring in the long run, so why not trochees, why not anapests and dactyls, etc.?
True. It can get dull without variation, but poems of traditional form usually conform to iambic metre in the first few lines, and at the end of all lines. Variety is applied in the first few feet.
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 James Graham at 20:42 on 26 September 2016
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Alan, thank you for such a comprehensive response to this poem. I’ve very little to add.
Is it a tranquil scene? Not for me. Maybe outwardly, but it's actually one of revelation and consequently, unease.
I tend to agree with this. ‘Even in Arcady death and decay’: and even in Arcadia unease. Michael, I don’t think you were mistaken about Salvator Rosa, whose landscapes are a great deal more uneasy than this, e.g. ‘Landscape with Tobias and the Angel’ in which the sky is very fraught and even the rocks are jittery. (He did paint a witches’ sabbath.) But there is unease in the Poussin too. So it would be good for the poem if somehow you could find two new lines to replace ‘The tranquil…broom’. I don’t think it’s a tranquil scene and it’s better not to describe it so explicitly as such. The donkey’s bray and the witch reference are rather out of place. I know considerations of rhyme make it difficult, but you can use half-rhyme. For instance, in ‘soon’ you've already used a vowel-rhyme (the consonant not identical); in the new lines you could use any word with an ‘oo’ sound. Or use consonant-rhyme (with different vowel), e.g. loom/groom/name. Something to rhyme with decay/way/pray/day/ray is more of a problem as there is only the clear vowel sound and no consonant. Do you use a rhyming dictionary? Mine lists hundreds of ‘-ay’ rhymes – but that’s not to say even one of them would fit. After all that, you may just want to move on and write a new villanelle!
James.
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michwo at 23:09 on 26 September 2016
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James,
It's a while ago now, but do you remember Ken Russell's film about Tchaikovsky, "The Music Lovers"? There's a scene in it where Richard Chamberlain, who plays Tchaikovsky, comes out with the retort "I will not change a single note!" when asked to make alterations to a concerto. And now I'm forced to try to defend 'tranquil scene' by which I probably mean pastoral, though, as shepherds go, the men round the tomb look most unrustic it has to be said. True the sky does look a bit threatening, but the storm hasn't broken just yet. The idea of half-rhymes appals me! For me a villanelle is the following fixed pattern: A1 b A2/ a b A1/ a b A2/ a b A1/ a b A2/ a b A1 A2 where the a's and b's sound similar to one another and 'name' is not a rhyme for 'tomb', 'groom', 'loom', etc. Sorry. I've just realised this constitutes disobedience and stubbornness. What about this? This country scene's unmarred by donkey's bray/ And in the sky no witch rides on a broom... i.e. it could be worse. To be honest, James, all I want to do with this poem is tinker at the margins with it, not recast it. My mind isn't flexible enough for that and I write these things to please myself ultimately and not really for publication. If I did write for publication I'd be much more prolific and desirous of pleasing others.
You read the rondeau I submitted - "Love's Torments" - but not the virelai - "The Chart of Tenderness". Or did you find it anodyne? The reference in the title is to the Map of the Region/Country of Tendre that figures in a 17th century novel by Mlle de Scudéry, "Clélie" or "Clelia". For sure all these things have nothing to do with the 21st century and must therefore seem quite quaint.
P.S. I've sent you an email re. European short prose and poetry in English translation, a new group I've proposed. I'd be interested to know what you think.
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 Mickey at 15:28 on 27 September 2016
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And now from the sublime to the ridiculous. My understanding of ‘Les Bergeres d’Arcadie’ is that it is supposed that the painting hides the hidden knowledge of the tomb of Jesus. On that assumption, much of your poem suggests a deeper, hidden meaning. Are these the same shepherds who were present at the Nativity along with the donkey? ‘This stone’ (death) ‘unlike a horse, eschews a groom’. Even the occupant of the tomb cannot ride death – ‘Even in Arcady death and decay’. A very powerful piece and, although my interpretation is probably a load of tosh, I really enjoyed it. Thank you.
Mike
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James Graham at 19:58 on 27 September 2016
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Your ‘disobedience and stubbornness’ are forgiven. I did think you would prefer to leave those lines as they are. Actually, if you use ‘country’ instead of ‘tranquil’ the neutral word makes a difference to the two lines.
The idea of half-rhymes appals me!
What a wealth of poetic art you cast aside! In modern poetry, half-rhymes are often used quite powerfully to convey unease, uncertainty and other disturbing feelings. It’s a legitimate technique. And I don’t think you know the joy of free verse. If you write formal verse in which the lines are all measured by the same number of feet, plus rhyme, you can create a masterpiece – of a certain kind – but if you practise free verse you can use the subtle art of line-breaks: you can begin a new line at any point, thus creating a significant pause after a key word and a heightened significance for the first word of the next line. And much more.
If Tchaikovsky was talking about his first Piano Concerto, he should have changed a lot of notes. Instead of giving us that wonderful melody at the beginning, he should have kept us waiting and used it as the climax of his first movement. As it is, the rest of the movement is something of an anti-climax. Just my opinion.
Enough of this. ‘Et in Arcadia ego’ is an excellent poem, well-crafted, interesting and satisfying to read and re-read. The same applies to your ‘Ode’ and I see you have added a comment; I will reply as soon as I can.
James.
<Added>
'The Chart of Tenderness' - I don't recall seeing this poem, and can't find it in the archive. I would read it if I could!
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michwo at 21:37 on 27 September 2016
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James,
I'll post it in the Poetry Writers Group at the beginning of October. I can't find it either!
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