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Brig O`Doon

by Jojovits1 

Posted: 05 July 2016
Word Count: 74
Summary: My favourite place. On Sundays my best friend and I would go walking up to Alloway and eat sandwiches and soup on the bridge. Happy times!


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Brig O'Doon

Sturdy boots and
flasks of
home made soup.
Cucumber and Philly
sandwiches
for when we reach
Burns' Cottage.
 
Our Autumn walks
full of breathless gossip.
Laughter.
Chattering up
Maybole Road,
 
Past Rozelle
and Belleisle.
Sniggering at golfers
in silly hats.
Sure Dad was one of them.
 
We turn the corner
and there she smiles
in cobbled splendour.
Winter sun echoed
in the river below.
Silently accepting
a share in our history.

 
 






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Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 10:39 on 06 July 2016  Report this post
Lovely. You ate posh sarnies didn't you! wink I love the timeless place names alongside the human time scale of

Sniggering at golfers
in silly hats.
Sure Dad was one of them.

I think the change to the present tense works well in

We turn the corner
and there she smiles
in cobbled splendour.

because there's that timeless scale again and lastly echoed in

Silently accepting
a share in our history

but I'm thinking is that you or Brigadoon or Winter sun or what? because there is no subject to the sentence. So maybe

All silent
accepting our share in history.

or

All's silent, accepting
our share in history.

 
Read the WriteWords interview with Oonah Joslin (V`yonne)
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

Jojovits1 at 21:17 on 06 July 2016  Report this post
Oops, you're right.  Not very clear.  I meant the bridge but actually, everything combines to make the "scene".

Therefore, 
All silent
accepting our share in history.
is a good shout. :-)
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FelixBenson at 12:12 on 10 July 2016  Report this post
Loved the cucumber and philly sangers! And the way the journey evolves, capturing the chat and the atmosphere.
These final lines and very evocative and really linger on in the mind after the poem has been read:

Winter sun echoed
in the river below.
Silently accepting
a share in our history.


 
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)


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