Big Love

If someone came to me and said
Who would you like to take to bed
Please take your pick across the globe
Of any female to disrobe

I’d say hang on, I need to know
A few things first before I go
Like would it happen straight away
Or could I have at least a day

To buy new pants and clean the loo
Prepare a ready meal for two
And shove my jazz mags out of sight
And maybe it would be all right

To practice with someone before
Say Keely Pearce from Set Four?
And could I show my mates and go
This is that famous bird you know

I’d like the chance to snog a bit
And cop a feel of her tit
And after could I make her go
For Marlboro Lights and Lambrusco

We’d sit and swear and gob at things
We’d maybe vandalise some swings
How could she possibly say no
I think I'm going to choose J-Lo