Login   Sign Up 



 

Eggs Mislaid

by Jojovits1 

Posted: 25 March 2016
Word Count: 120
Summary: For this week's Flash


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


I have always been clumsy.
Dropping, breaking,
losing things.
Careless and thoughtless
some might say.
It’s not intentional.
 
When you’re young
it doesn’t matter.
There’s time enough
to find the things
you mislaid.
But time is a liar.
 
I had eggs you see.
Lots of them, as a girl.
Little cells of hope
and legacy
to hand my dreams to.
Now it seems,
they are gone.
 
Where did I lose them?
Did they run away
to find another, more
“motherly” than me?
When did I decide
there was no reason
to keep them safe?
 
I miss them when
I let myself remember
past thoughts
for the future.
You never need anything
until it’s lost.

 
 






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



Bazz at 15:02 on 26 March 2016  Report this post
Very moving Jo

I miss them when
I let myself remember
past thoughts
for the future.
You never need anything
until it’s lost.

Love the thoughtful nature of the ending here, lovely phrasing as well.

crowspark at 11:17 on 27 March 2016  Report this post
Great title and a very moving poem, full of regret and a reminder that life is fleeting.

When you’re young
it doesn’t matter.
There’s time enough
to find the things
you mislaid.
But time is a liar.

Thanks for sharing.

V`yonne at 13:27 on 27 March 2016  Report this post
Jo, this is so moving and it's the more-so for that matter-of-fact beginning that belies the sadness of the end. To describe eggs as

Little cells of hope
and legacy
to hand my dreams to.

(I might change to)

Little cells of hope
a legacy
to hand my dreams to.

is really and literally at the heart here and I would lose the next two lines to make that stand out.

Now it seems,
they are gone.

which dilutes it.

I love the internal rhyme of

Did they run away
to find another, more
“motherly” than me?


and the ending here is rather perfect too.

I was genuinely moved and that's hard to do!
I wouldn't mind this in The Linnet...

<Added>

Well desreved winner. x

Jojovits1 at 13:55 on 29 March 2016  Report this post
Thanks all!

Oonah, I really like your suggestions and I would be happy to submit :-)


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .