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I Will Cure You of Your Pain

by dr_mandrill 

Posted: 03 February 2004
Word Count: 129
Summary: You know, people often say to me: ďMandrill," they say, "... youíre 90% ego, how come it doesnít show in your poems more?Ē So here, in celebration of my profile reaching 100 comments made and received, and 500 points surpassedÖ

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Itís not about length
Nor girth,
Though Iíve had no complaints
(No, seriously, itís pretty big).
It comes
From flexibility in the hips,
A knowledge of angles,
And a really filthy mind.

Follow the scent of me
Down the highstreet.
Your nails are claws
If they have to be;
And they have to be:
Iím your bloodsport.

Youíll crane your necks to watch me
At the bar.
Youíll have what Iím having?
Of course.
Cast aside gender assumptions and run
Your hand along my inside leg and
Not that far above the knee
Iíll show you how we measure up.

And if you worry you canít
Frequency and ferocity,
(But always labouring, always consummate),
Youíre probably right.
But Iíll respect you for trying

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Comments by other Members

Bobo at 18:40 on 03 February 2004  Report this post
Doc - great as a profile for a dating agency - not sure whether you'd attract men, women or those pesky oompah-lookpah's, but it'd be an adventure!

Fun, funny, and 100% ego!

BoBo x

Fearless at 18:43 on 03 February 2004  Report this post

Congratulations on your points and thigh strokin', fire stokin', poem tauntin', lip smackin' action. Glad to see you are an equal opportunity 'touch me up, luvvy' freak. Now, can I have my Dyson vacuum cleaner attachment back please?

I don't see why you have to keep them down your speedos
y u wanna look like a frozen chicken at Tescos?

Oh yeah, good poem as always, yada yada, rhubarb, rhubarb. Like the humour/ego/etc. Write on.

Adoringly, sycophantically, stalkingly yours,

Fearless (50% ego, 50% ignorance: 100% web friendly)

Dee at 18:44 on 03 February 2004  Report this post
Doc - I love this. Great way to mark the moment.


roovacrag at 20:29 on 03 February 2004  Report this post
Its not the size or the flexy hips,it's the way you can perform.Your writing says you perform very well,your wit a sensation,your strength and length of you we will have to wait and see how much more we will get. As a woman i am greedy and always want more of what i enjoy. Great laugh.xxxx Alice

miffle at 21:34 on 03 February 2004  Report this post
Who is this man (?!) 'Follow the scent of me'...!!? (Err...No. Thanks)...

Is he for real?! Well, yes (sadly) actually I think he is - check out that awful Jungle programme...

Needs a pin in his ego! The kind of character that Chaucer would bring down a peg or too...i.e. perhaps by having him farted on perhaps by having him cuckholded...(or similar)...

entertaining dm - nikki ;-

NB 'gender assumptions' and 'consummate'would score points with me, however...

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