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Shoes behind glass (revision)
Posted: 17 January 2016
Word Count: 126
Summary: Had a go at revising parts of this, hopefully it has ironed out a few wrinkles.
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They ended here at Oświęcim, these dead shapes
parted left from right, parent from child.
Taken from a warm foot this Mary-Jane lies lost
amongst the heaped Oxfords, Brogues and T-straps;
little victim.
Thin silence; their withered tongues insinuate.
Tone deaf now to the dance music
they play at rigor mortis, not quite stiff,
they loiter ready for the walk home
in darkness.
In this room I feel a long black drop.
At its edge the fleshless stand over us
as we gawp clear eyed behind glass,
and pass along the window,
humbled.
They seem to cling to each other;
a grey brown amalgam hand in hand,
half lit. At the front a red sandal
taps the glass, and from it sorrow
pours like water.
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Comments by other Members
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 James Graham at 20:42 on 18 January 2016
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Hi Nick – This must surely be one of your best poems. Your revision has sorted out anything that was even slightly wrong. It’s ready for publication, I would say.
I’d like to give you my response to it, and see what you think. The first remarkable thing that strikes me is the subtlety of the first stanza. Except for ‘Taken from a warm foot’ it’s all about the shoes. The display of shoes is in itself fit subject matter for poetry. But at the same time the ghosts of their former owners are discernible, at a distance but clearly enough. Pairs of shoes have been separated, left from right; beyond this immediate observation we see in the ‘background’ the separation of prisoners, right (for work) and left (for death). There are adult shoes and a ‘lost’ child’s shoe; beyond this we see the separation of families so that children lost their parents and found themselves among strangers. The new last line, ‘little victim’ is simple but very nuanced: applied to the shoe it’s a metaphor, applied to the former wearer it’s literally true.
‘Taken from a warm foot’ for me is a kind of signal for us to venture beyond the immediate scene which the visitor sees. Its understatement is well judged; it doesn’t go on to describe the child from whom the shoe was taken soon screaming in terror in a gas chamber.
Throughout the poem the human tragedy represented by the shoes is never explicit but in every line there’s a way into it for the reader.
What the poem achieves for me is to capture the authentic response of a present-day visitor. We can feel a sense of being distant from the horrors – of wanting to be distant even, because it’s unbearable to think about. At the same time the visitor can’t help crossing the gulf; the past may be far off but it’s still visible.
It is difficult to write about the Holocaust – detailed descriptions of the cruelties seem somehow artificial, and the problem is to find a way of conveying it more obliquely while still allowing the truth to be confronted. I think your poem succeeds in just this way.
Footnote: ‘they loiter ready for the walk home/ in darkness’ – I know there are connotations other than this, but did you by any chance have in the back of your mind an association with Auschwitz escapees? Of course there were very few, but perhaps the best known are Rudolf Vrba and Alfred Wetzler, who escaped in April 1944 and walked to Slovakia. They would have to walk ‘in darkness’ and conceal themselves very carefully by day. Vrba wrote a report on Auschwitz which made governments and the public aware, more or less for the first time, of the extent of Nazi atrocities.
James.
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 nickb at 17:58 on 19 January 2016
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Thanks for your thoughts James. All the way through I felt there was a fine line to be drawn on such a sensitive subject, I'm glad that I seem to have come down on the right side of it. I guess it helps that so much is now known about the appalling barbarity of the holocaust, you don't have to drop too many hints for threader to pick up on it.
With regard to your last point I wasn't consciously referring to the escapees, although I did know that a few did get away. I can see it might work on that level though, an interesting thought. I understand that in many instances the parents of those who escaped were brought in to the camp in their place in order to deter others. There appears to be no end to the Nazi's evil. The range of emotions you go through visiting a place like that is extreme, but mainly anger and sorrow. I'm sure the kids will remember it, which was after all the point of taking them.
All the best
Nick
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James Graham at 20:11 on 19 January 2016
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It's true that almost any reader would have some degree of prior knowledge about the death camps, so you didn't have to spell it out. In a literary treatment of the Holocaust, either poetry or fiction (a historical account is different) there's a danger of crossing a line and seeming to indulge in the cruelties. I think you've got exactly the right balance. The atrocities are at a remove, but the poem is still powerful.
James.
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 Jojovits1 at 22:23 on 20 January 2016
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Hi Nick
This is beautiful (if that's the right word). Poignant and heartfelt. I've never been but I can feel the quiet horror of viewing this as a spectator, years later and your poem makes it so personal.
I always remember the first time I saw photos of the collected spectacles, taken from victims of the death camps and the full force of the enormity of what happened, hitting me. This makes me feel the same way.
parted left from right, parent from child.
and
At the front a red sandal
taps the glass, and from it sorrow
pours like water.
are my favourite lines. So emotive. So horrific.
Very well done.
Jo
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nickb at 15:20 on 22 January 2016
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Thanks for your thoughts Jo, glad you liked it. I would recommend a visit to anyone, although it's not an easy day out!
Nick
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