Login   Sign Up 


Howls a Silver Wind

by bellsgall 

Posted: 16 October 2015
Word Count: 380

Font Size

Printable Version
Print Double spaced

It wasn't meant to be like this. All those hopes and dreams, imagined a lifetime ago. Family, friends, a satisfying career, a fulfilled life. To end up here; staring at the horizon, waiting for the moment.
The sea mist rolls in, leaving its briny mark in her nose, on her lips. She is instantly filled with memories, of her life before the choice she made, in this very same spot, so many years ago, when she was young, and impulsive. She pulls a hand across her face, catching the tears and discarding them. This is not the time.
She can see the wave tops glistening in the distance, she imagines a sea fairy has sprinkled them with glitter to temper their anger. She laughs at herself, still a foolish child when all's said and done. Was that why she ended up back here, once with her heart filled with joy, now broken and ashamed.
The waves move nearer, rising towards the darkening sky, before crashing down and receding. Not yet, they tease, but soon. She digs her bare toes into the cool sand as the wind picks up, swirling around her, sparkling with droplets from the sea. She doesn’t notice the chill.
She peers out to sea, watching, waiting. Water begins to lap about her feet. She takes a step back. She isn’t ready. She is alone. Was it supposed to be like this?
Once more she recalls her first moments on this beach, young, hopeful, defiant, rebelling. Making decisions she didn’t understand. Now she understands. It had been a harsh lesson, but she had been too stubborn to concede the truth. Of course her Elders knew better. Why wouldn’t they?
The waves rise against her, her heart pounds, drowning out the ocean’s roar. Ready or not, the time is now. She closes her eyes, and waits for the water to take her. The wind howls and spins around her, drawing a robe of water to surround her, and carry her home.
Foolish child, it whispers, go home, go home. She takes a last longing look down at her toes. Scarlett toe nails, well cared for, meticulously applied every day since the first day, the first footstep on the sand. Disappearing into sand, and sea, and scales.
Wordcount 377

Favourite this work Favourite This Author

Comments by other Members

TassieDevil at 13:24 on 16 October 2015  Report this post
Hi and welcome to the group.
Impressive first posting considering the challenging prompt.
I love the impersonality (made up word) of this as she is unnamed yet you have brought her to life quite effectively, and in only a few words. Well done. If I had any thing to suggest for improvement, it might be the repetiveness of beginning so many sentences with the word 'she'. Possibly synonyms like 'the youthful womanl' or the 'girl' to break it up a little.
Very enigmatic. Thanks for sharing.

Bazz at 15:40 on 16 October 2015  Report this post
Hi, there's a great poetic mood to this piece, it's very reflective. I love the descriptions, the briny mark, the glistening sea. I don't know if we need to know more about this character, whether her emotions need any context, it's a very enigmatic piece, and that adds an almost dreaminess to it. 
A very enticing piece of flash, thanks for joining in with the challenge :)

RIO at 16:45 on 17 October 2015  Report this post
A good piece of flash fiction.The reader learns just enough of why the character is there to keep them interested. The descriptions and emotions add to the mystery of her past.


bellsgall at 21:14 on 17 October 2015  Report this post
Thank you for your comments everyone.
Alan, you're right about the sentence beginnings. I will give it some thought.

RIO at 17:45 on 18 October 2015  Report this post
Well done and a worthy winner.

To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .