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Daddy`s Girl

by Jojovits1 

Posted: 02 August 2015
Word Count: 82

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Smell of tobacco
and Old Spice;
dancing round the living room
standing on his feet
gliding over a
shag pile ballroom.
I’d do his rounds with him
if I was sick from school.
Waiting in the car
as he met his clients;
his friends;
the bookie's.
Taught me how to
use the adding machine.
Which columns to total
and where to write
as a “wee favour”.
At night, I’d sit with mum
doing his books
to be closer
while he was absent.

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Comments by other Members

Bazz at 14:13 on 04 August 2015  Report this post
Hi Jo, love this. You've really caught the feel of a child's perspective, I love

dancing round the living room
standing on his feet
gliding over a
shag pile ballroom.

It's a lovely detail. The ending's brilliant here, the need for closeness, connection, and the little distances that can appear when you're young. The attempt and desire to keep someone close... It's very subtle, but works so well.

Jordan789 at 15:19 on 15 August 2015  Report this post

The love but also the hints of an uncertainty in character. It begs a lot of question about the future, about the rest of the story, I guess. About where he went. Great stuff. 


Jojovits1 at 23:06 on 29 August 2015  Report this post
Thanks Barry and Jordan.

Yes Jordan, my dad had a fair bit of "uncertainty in character"!  I've been really busy with work and have neglected the site recently but actually between this challenge and James' autobiographical work it's made me think a bit about all of this.  This and the next are pretty rough but I may work on the ideas a bit more later on.

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