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by BorderBound 

Posted: 31 January 2004
Word Count: 248
Summary: its always about the same woman... but this i wrote when i was 12... it was the first poem i ever wrote. i think she's the reason i'm obsessed with words..

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The reason for my fall is lost in romance
I dream and wake to kiss the air.
Iím celebrating my feet.
Iím chasing you.

My heads screaming but my heart has won.
A million eyes turn on me.
My reflection canít look me in the eye.
I wont forgive myself for loosing you.

A thought of you makes my heart jump
People say I glow when I see you.
Trying to explain that nothings wrong
Itís just so hard to love a stranger.

Everyday decisions made to runaway
And everyday all day love never stops.
It doesnít matter if they think Iím crazy
Weíll be great one day.

Coming a hazard. Am I not quite right?
I swear. Iím trying to dream myself awake
But I like it here
Waiting for eternal sleep so I can see you.

In my mind to fall in love is now just to fall
Kissing the air gets tiring.
Waiting for dawn while hoping to fall asleep soon
Where do I stand when God starts the giving?

I think and I crumble it like paper, Why?
Watching the sea makes me feel taller
Counting dead roses makes dreamers fly
And every time I grow I cry, because I know of something lower.

And the Place you took was all I loved you for.
Look at the time, I really must go
Youíre waiting for me in bed
And Iím not one to keep hallucinations waiting.

By Gal Israel
„ 26th April 1999

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Comments by other Members

roovacrag at 15:29 on 31 January 2004  Report this post
Men write the most beautiful words. Words every woman wants to hear but so few men ever say what is in thier hearts in case they look a fool. When will you men realise we love to hear the words. Doesn't have to be I love you,most of the time these are meaningless. Just little things that turn a woman on.xxxAlice

poemsgalore at 16:49 on 31 January 2004  Report this post
Can't believe you were only 12 when you wrote this, or did I misunderstand. It is very deep and expressive. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

miffle at 17:08 on 31 January 2004  Report this post
I enjoyed your poem very much and thought too that it was a remarkably mature piece of writing for someone 'aged 12' (?). You have a strong and original voice which breaks through here...

Curiously I found the poem seemed to turn for me in the line 'Coming a hazard. Am I not quite right?' and indeed, the first 4 stanzas and the last 4 stanzas seemed to stand apart in style i.e. your imagery seemed to become more experimental in the last 4.

The language in the last four reminded me too of the language of the fool in Shakespeare and this tinge of 'madness/ seeing' seemed to echo the idea of you wondering 'am I not quite right?'(?)

Oh dear...Does that make any sense?!

Write on, miffle ;-)

BorderBound at 14:17 on 03 February 2004  Report this post
:) thanks for feedback people,
I was 12,
but i'm not a man ...

Borderbound Borderline x

Bobo at 18:58 on 03 February 2004  Report this post
Gal - truly enchanting writing - full of love and sadness. I love the style of the piece - almost melodic.

Well done,

BoBo x

Chem at 10:28 on 13 February 2004  Report this post

A great piece and so much expression. Feelings and emotions are blind to age.
I hear you.

I gathered you weren't a man :-)


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