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Wolf Hut - latest draft

by andinadia 

Posted: 09 April 2015
Word Count: 349
Summary: This is still a work in progress. I hope you don't mind watching it emerge like this. Anyway the group has been a bit quiet the past few days. I think the story is losing its Pinteresqueness (probably not a bad thing!). What I'm not sure of is whether it's a potentially engaging pb narrative.

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Spread 1
Little Wolf was locking the door of the hut when he heard a sneeze.  
It was raining hard outside. Little Wolf slid the door open and let the customer in.
(a/w: It’s dusk, midwinter, raining outside. Little Wolf is a child-sized wolf standing inside the door of the café. We can see a large blurred shape through the glass of the door. Behind the shape we can make out a park in the fading light.)
Spread 2
The customer took off his hat and shook his ears.
Big Wolf looked hard at the customer.
“Tea?” Big Wolf asked.
“Yes,” the customer said quietly.
Big Wolf narrowed his eyes.
“Please,” the customer said, and he sat down at the table in the corner.
Little Wolf and Big Wolf looked at each other.
(a/w: A large pig in an undersized greatcoat and pin striped trousers enters the cafe. We can see the ends of his pin-striped jacket poking from the ends of his coat sleeves. Big Wolf is standing behind the counter. Maybe also a close up of Big Wolf’s narrowed eyes?)
Spread 3
“I thought you might like some cake too,” Big Wolf said. He brought a mug of tea and a large slice of Victoria Sponge.
“Thank you,” the customer said.
The customer sipped some of his tea. He took a pen from his jacket and started doodling on a napkin.
Little Wolf wanted to see what the doodle was. It was a house.
(a/w: xxx)
Spread 4
The customer ate some of the cake. He closed his eyes, licked his lips with his big pink tongue, then opened his eyes again.
“This is lovely cake,” he said and smiled at Little Wolf.
Little Wolf saw shiny teardrops in the corners of the customer’s little round eyes.
(a/w: xxx)
Spread 5
“You are very kind,” the customer said, and a teardrop fell from his long pink snout.
Little Wolf did not know what to say.
“Are you from around here?” Big Wolf asked the customer.
“Not really,” the customer said. “I don’t have a home. I lost it.”

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Comments by other Members

a.m.edge at 15:56 on 10 April 2015  Report this post
This is becoming quite poignant. Lots of understated tension.
Just wondered about the repetition of 'little' in the last line of Spread 4?
I'm intrigued.

andinadia at 16:47 on 10 April 2015  Report this post
Thanks, Annie. 'Intrigued' is good for me. The problem with it might be that it doesn't have a theme nor humour (apart from the title, maybe!). It's a mood piece but I hope the characters will come through strongly.

TassieDevil at 19:46 on 10 April 2015  Report this post
Hi Andy,
I like the sense of loss /trauma situation. Putting the three little pigs into a deeply emotive situation has intriguing possibilities. Also that stereotyped villains have a different sid to them might have widr real life implications to impressionable young minds. Not everything is balck and white - unlike early cowboy movies and traditional fairy tales. interested in where you're taking this.

andinadia at 17:09 on 12 April 2015  Report this post
Thanks, Alan. This could go in very different directions, so I'm interested to see what happens too!

Freebird at 10:52 on 13 April 2015  Report this post
it's very film noir! I half expect a gangster to come in with a violin case and his collar turned up high so we can't see his face.
Intriguing is definitely the word. It creates a very striking visual image

kel35 at 11:47 on 13 April 2015  Report this post
Hi Andy,

I'm intruiged too!  I felt quite sorry for the pig and that he'd lost his house.  I think little kids would too.  I know if I ever read to any of mine about someone being sad or upset they were instantly hooked and wanted to know why.  A very emotive piece.  I like!

Looking forward to seeing this go further.


Tresbita at 18:25 on 14 April 2015  Report this post
I can see it animated in my head.  Doesn't have to have humour, have you read - This is not my hat? 

andinadia at 08:37 on 15 April 2015  Report this post
Thanks, Tracy!

Yes, and Have you Seen my Hat? is even better. Possibly one of the best picture books I've ever read. I wonder how an agent/publisher would have responded if it had been submitted as text only.

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