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Mr Self Improvement

by MasterRevelation 

Posted: 29 January 2004
Word Count: 569
Summary: Inspired by a title in Reader's Digest - and with apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan (The Major General's Song from The Pirates Of Penzance). - for anyone brave enough to try this as a performance piece with a choir - I would be delighted! All suggestions for fresh parodies warmly welcomed!


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=Mr Self Improvement=
I am the very model of a self improvement specialist
And clients come from miles around who want to join my waiting list
They know that I have ways to make them into what they want to be
And back up all my claims to them by offering a guarantee.
My methods are well proven and acknowledged as the best there are
(Though some have said they are extreme or even just a touch bizarre)
With NLP and PMA and Critical Submodalities
I give the music of their lives a full range of tonalities!

=Chorus=
He gives the music of their lives a full range of tonalities!
He gives the music of their lives a full range of tonalities!
He gives the music of their lives a full range of tonalities!

=Mr Self Improvement=
I'm experienced in reframing and sensory acuity
Synesthesia, eye assessing cues – resolving ambiguity
And so, to those consulting me about their mental parity
I lead them on a journey with great focus, strength and clarity.

=Chorus=
And so, to those consulting him about their mental parity
He leads them on a journey with great focus, strength and clarity.

=Mr Self Improvement=
I have read the works of Robbins, Chopra, Ziglar and Kiyosaki
And have studied Paul McKenna, who does it all hypnotically
I quote the words of Jesus, Clement Stone and Waldo Emerson
Old Ben Franklin, Abraham Lincoln and even Thomas Jefferson.
I have travelled round the world attending courses and symposia
And each one I attended made my world seem so much rosier.
So now I am attractive with a smile that draws, magnetically,
And I will share my faith with you, so very energetically

=Chorus=
And he will share his faith with you so very energetically
And he will share his faith with you so very energetically
And he will share his faith with you so very energetically

=Mr Self Improvement=
Then I can change your thinking with the power of my influence
As you are mesmerised by every nuance of my eloquence.
And so, to those consulting me about their mental parity
I lead them on a journey with great focus, strength and clarity.

=Chorus=
And so, to those consulting him about their mental parity
He leads them on a journey with great focus, strength and clarity.

=Mr Self Improvement=
When you know all there is to know of Integrated Anchoring,
The meta-outcome is to get the things for which you’re hankering.
The well-formed outcome, clearly seen, in every way is visualised
With all the demons of the past identified and exorcised.
When you have learned to understand what is Perceptual Filtering
Then your reframed perceptions will lead to better modelling.
In short, when you’ve a smattering of elemental NLP
You will live your life forever with greater flexibility.

=Chorus=
You will live your life forever with greater flexibility
You will live your life forever with greater flexibility
You will live your life forever with greater flexibility

=Mr Self Improvement=
For my Self Improvement methods have been very good indeed to me,
I now have two Mercedes and a mansion down in Tennessee.
And so, to those consulting me about their mental parity
I lead them on a journey with great focus, strength and clarity.

=Chorus=
And so, to those consulting him about their mental parity
He leads them on a journey with great focus, strength and clarity.






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Comments by other Members



Ellenna at 14:41 on 29 January 2004  Report this post
this really is amusing and it tickles all my faculties,

I'm thinking of the people singing here
over a cup of tea,

you must have spent so long making everything rhyme happily

I have to hand it to you and I hope you can take flattery..

ditto..ditto...ditto..

Ellie :)



MasterRevelation at 14:55 on 29 January 2004  Report this post
the difficult bit was just researching into the buzz words that they use!

So glad you liked it - if you have any suggestions for future topics - or headings - please feel free to suggest them



TeeFoley at 01:55 on 29 February 2004  Report this post
these are words of fate, not luck or knowledge.

yet... sadly all true.

tee. x

Skippoo at 08:05 on 01 December 2004  Report this post
This is excellent! Funny, smart and great rhymes. I've actually been wanting to write a short story with a similar kind of theme (oh no, you make me want to post up some funny song lyrics now so I don't look neurotic. Read my fiction - some of its funny. Honest!).

Cath


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