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Alternative Christmas Carols

by nickb 

Posted: 17 December 2014
Word Count: 145
Summary: Just a bit of fun......a few versions you may not have come across. Happy Christmas


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Good King Wenceslas went out
on the feast of Stephen,
snow and frost lay all about
his blimmin’ feet were freezin’.
All he’d had to eat that day
was a bowl of gru-el,
so he went down to the pub
for some winter fu-u-el.


O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!

I watch your needles falling
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
the mess you make is appalling.
I’m on my knees, the hoover’s blocked
‘cos someone tripped and you got knocked
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
I hear the bonfire calling.


“When Santa got stuck up the chimney,
he felt rather queer,
the size of his thighs
was down to mince pies
and drinking lots but beer.
And as for the elves
they’re helping themselves
and didn’t hear Santa yelp,
when he got stuck up the chimney
“Oh help, oh help, oh help”.
 






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Comments by other Members



James Graham at 15:59 on 18 December 2014  Report this post
Hi Nick - neat parodies. The second one brings back slightly uncomfortable memories. 'I don't care, from now on we're having a plastic tree'. You've got a good punch line for Good King W. And your rhyme scheme for Santa is an impressive ABCCB DDEAE, which isn't that easy because I tried to follow your example and this is all I could manage. With sincere apologies to Paul McCartney:
 
We're overfed
had too much beer
We'll be in the red
all next New Year

Simply having the usual Christmas time

James.

nickb at 11:32 on 22 December 2014  Report this post
Thanks James....I'm sure the less traditional Christmas songs will be a rich source of material in years to come.  It is becoming harder not to be cynical about Christmas, especially given the huge amount of marketing from the big corporates.  Fortunately the kids bring me back to what it's all about.  Hope you have a great break.

Nick

V`yonne at 15:41 on 10 January 2015  Report this post
I liked it :)


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