Pulp Fiction
Posted: 27 January 2004 Word Count: 290 Summary: i.m. Raymond Carver
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She wants a beach house in Malibu, a neat little place, with a calico cat in the window bay and the breeze coming in off the ocean, filling the curtains she’s chosen herself, finding its way off the Pacific as easily as the words she taps out on the clean white page… And you believe her, not because it happens to be next to Rod Steiger, (third from the end facing the beach) but because she makes you see it, all the way through the bar smoke to South California, see her working through the small hours, only stopping to make fresh coffee, empty the trash, or load the barrel with another leaf of clean white paper… and writing, writing, writing, the kind of stuff you can show people, that makes them want to know more, like where you come from and who your Pop was and when’s the best time to write… the kind of stuff that gets you out of bars like this and into beach houses in Malibu, cats in calico coats and views of the ocean… And you want to ask her, seriously ask her, What is it that stops a person? makes a body feel they’re living next-door to life, like a party down the block when all you get is the bass guitar. But you can’t, so you buy her a drink, something tall with a twist of lemon and a name you’d like to forget… And you ask her what she likes to hear, because that’s what we talk about when we talk about love – like where does she come from and where the hell is that, who is her Pop and just when is the best time to write.
Hampstead 1986
Comments by other Members
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roovacrag at 19:55 on 27 January 2004
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Sorry this is not a poem nor prose,what is it ?Start it as a fiction story, you might get it further. xxxxxxAlice
<Added>
Better to do fiction.Join and be full member and we can see what you are capable off.xxxxxxx Alice
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Ellenna at 18:28 on 28 January 2004
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Fantastic poem.."makes a body feel they’re living next-door
to life, like a party down the block when
all you get is the bass guitar" ... I especially liked this...
Has a very contemporary feel but also has shades of the sixties..I enjoyed this a lot!
welcome to Writewords..David
Ellie:)
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Jubbly at 18:41 on 28 January 2004
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I really enjoyed this David. It worked for me. A story of bitter ambition and envy and adoration. I loved the repetition of the line, 'and just when is the best time to write'. I don't write poetry or normally crit it, but this really drew me into to another place.
Welcome
Julie
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Anna Reynolds at 11:29 on 30 January 2004
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Powis, this is fantastic- the Raymond Carver line is used beautifully and the whole piece has that poignant, slightly dangerous feel that his stories evoked... I too loved the circular, cyclical feel of the repeated line, and the pathos of the 'drink whose name you'd like to forget'. The core idea, that becoming a writer might elevate her to her dream life is beautifully and simply worked. Please show us more if you have some.
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miffle at 12:15 on 30 January 2004
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Reminds me of Cohen's 'Suzanne' (alluring woman drawing you in and you/ we/ the persona are/ is drawn in; a modern siren - the kind a girl might fantasise about being)...Sort of Cohen with a contemporary, 'get you motor spinning' rock and roll feel...Flows hypnotically, tidal...gracias, nikki ;-)
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dr_mandrill at 12:29 on 30 January 2004
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miffle's right: it's rock and roll, it's hypnotic and tidal and oh-so-cool. It's also very very good.
Thanks for this; it's a poem that I'll read again.
dm
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Ralph at 20:13 on 30 January 2004
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David -
Left my lips numb with the pleasure of mouthing these words.
Thanks.
Ralph
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Powis at 23:21 on 30 January 2004
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Hi all,
Can't this how else to do this but here... but just would like to thank you all for your wonderful comments... they arrive like water in the desert... and living in Israel today, I think I know pretty much all there is to know about deserts, political, cultural and literal.
Thank you, thank you, and good luck to you all with your writing.
David (Powis) Jones
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Skeetr at 17:18 on 04 March 2004
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David Jones,
I'm new-ish on WW, so I found this poem only just now. I was blown away... I'll leave it at that, since so much I agree with has already been said above.
All the best,
Smith
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