Best in Show by Mickey - WriteWords.org.uk

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Best in Show

by Mickey

Posted: 22 July 2014
Word Count: 76

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A gardener named Derek Ellis
decided to erect a trellis
to train his Runner Beans around
to save them lying on the ground.

He popped down to the garden store
where they had trellis by the score
and chose one with diagonal squares
intended for espalier pears.

His beans now grow in chevrons neat
(for Runner Beans, that’s quite a feat)
They grow dead straight to uniform sizes
and are always winning Derek prizes

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James Graham at 19:43 on 23 July 2014 Report this post

Hi Mickey – It’s an amusing idea, though not your best perhaps. It could be that the last verse just needs to be more over the top and more specific about size and shape. I’ve fooled around with this and come up with:

His beans now grew in chevrons neat
(for Runner Beans, that’s quite a feat)
They were three feet long and straight as dies
and won the topmost Chelsea prize

His beans now grew in chevrons neat
the length of each was three-plus feet
They were geometric more or less
and won top spot at the RHS

There could be lots of variations and I’ve no doubt you could do better than these efforts. The main thing would be to make the beans inpossibly large and impossibly geometric, and have them win the biggest prizes. Nobel Prize for gardening if there was one. Invent one.

An idea came to me out of the blue for a companion runner-bean poem. A gardener’s failed attempts to grow them produce first walker beans, then couch-potato beans, and finally has-beans. You might want to have a go at this.

James.

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