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What Next?

by ChrisB 

Posted: 25 January 2004
Word Count: 242
Summary: This poem is attempting to describe the continual battle and confrontations we have with our demons, insecurities and self doubts.

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Iím stuck, I feel dead washed up as Iím lying here on my bed
Yesterdays dreams are all gone, my future is a nightmare
My selfless being is empty, hopeless and in despair
Beckham on TV again, is he really happy and free
Fuck yes, no doubt about it, as he walks on water and clouds
Without any doubts, yet as I struggle and fight
Not just once, but for the one millionth time.

So what next, oh yes, what am I going to make out of this vex
This one incredible journey and opportunity called life
It is in me I know it, I feel it, but have I really got the temperate to succeed
So sedate in this current state of mind, let me blame me
If I am going to be late, is that so great, Iím definitely no ape
Born into this world of all worlds, who am I and who are you
Is my mothers brothers dog as real as my fathers cousins cat.

Why are we so afraid when love embraces all
If fear exists then it is not perfect love
I want to experience all, yes I want to grow
Who doesnít want some fame, to be somebody new
Don't we all a little bit, so be it inside of outside
Which way do you fall, is the enemy really out there
Or is it really the inner conflict, between the spirit and ego mind.

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Comments by other Members

Fearless at 16:44 on 26 January 2004  Report this post
I liked this a lot. I sometimes think through these things as I wake up, debating whether to get out of bed or not. But more often than not, I get up. Sure, shit happens, but you roll with the punches, pick yourself up and dust yourself down. You sometimes wonder who you are, what you're about, where you're at and what you want. But you know, it's fun.

Your mention of fame reminded me of Stefano Benni's 'Bar Sports 2000', where virtually everyone in the bar is famous, apart from one chap, who kills himself out of despair....only to become famous as a result.

I could give you more profound comments, but they're best shared over a beer (and make more sense over several). Write on Christopher.


Bobo at 18:57 on 26 January 2004  Report this post
Chris - really liked this and related to the feelings conveyed. Inner conflict and self-world conflict very well expressed. Thought-provoking.

BoBo x

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