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Endgame - revised.

by James Graham 

Posted: 07 June 2014
Word Count: 161
Summary: The word 'pawn' is out. This way, readers will be puzzled at first but (I hope) find that the ending is the solution.
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Endgame

Dan is known by his blond hair and gravitas,
Jack by his mickey-taking and falsetto laugh.
Harry was a hundred metres champion,
Steve plays ukulele and banjo.

Barry misses his two Weimaraners,
Charlie smokes and coughs and doesn’t care.
Andrew’s girl friend threw him out,
Richard lost his brother in a crash.

They have a plan. They got a message 
to the other side, and all agreed
to synchronise. The element of surprise is total:

as if one day the sea turned gold, the sun went down
at noon, and parrots talked philosophy. Their Majesties
will be affrighted, and their knights nonplussed.

Today’s the day, and now’s the hour. They have
advanced, but none has fallen. The silent signal passes
along both ranks. They turn about, and claim

the Queen’s compass and the Rook’s freedom,
the Knight’s tricks and the Bishop’s power to smite

and sweep and swerve and charge and cheer
and put the Kings and courtiers to flight.






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Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 11:11 on 11 June 2014  Report this post
The analogy of chess to war is an old one but I didn't immediately 'get' what you were doing and so this succeeded in a rather different way.
I am not sure you need all the repetitions of 'pawn'.

Pawn Dan is known by his blond hair and gravitas,
Jack by his mickey-taking and falsetto laugh.
Pawn Harry was a hundred metres champion,
Steve plays ukulele and banjo.

would have done it for me by implication.
I was looking at stanza 2 and thinking that

Pawn Charlie smokes and coughs and doesn’t care.


should maybe come last in this stanza because all the others do care. Charlie seems to have nothing to lose whereas the rest are grouped by 'loss' already.

Is there a reason for the 4/4 3/3/3 2/2 line grouping? btw (probably showing a total ignorance of chess) blush or the military or most probably both frown

I loved the denouement of this class battle, James.

                                The silent signal passes
along both ranks. They turn about, and claim

the Queen’s compass and the Rook’s freedom,
the Knight’s tricks and the Bishop’s power to smite

and sweep and swerve and charge and cheer
and put the Kings and courtiers to flight.

I wanted to cheer! yes too.

Bit of a fantasy that none has fallen though James -- sadly.

Great.
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desdillon at 10:04 on 17 June 2014  Report this post
Hi James

parrots talked philosophy.

loved that image. The poem built a little village of characters for me at first and then when I realised it was war and maybe a mutiny on hand I was immediately taken to the part in Sunset Song where Euan decides to walk away from the front line and go back to Chris. Of course he is shot for desertion.

And then there's that football game the Brits and Germans played. The poem could easily be that. Ultimately a poem about what happens when we allow others power.


I agree that pawn(s) could be used less and in fact if the poem was called pawn we'd soon get the endgame chess reference and just who these pawns are. 
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Bazz at 20:02 on 17 June 2014  Report this post
Hi James, I agree that the pawn repetition is a little offputting, though I can certainly see how strong it could be. There are fantastic lines here, "parrots talked philosophy" "they turn and claim the queen's compass". I'm not sure if the chess analogy works, though. Perhaps the real touches describing the pawns at the beginning make the imagery seem a bit simplistic at the end. It feels a bit like two different approaches to the same idea, if that makes sense?

Loved the ending though!

the Queen’s compass and the Rook’s freedom,
the Knight’s tricks and the Bishop’s power to smite
 
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Bazz at 20:35 on 18 June 2014  Report this post
Hi James, I think this version is a lot stronger. I love how the end plays out more as a reveal, it gives the concept more impact.
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V`yonne at 23:18 on 18 June 2014  Report this post
Yes James, I like how this reads now.
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RalphFSmith at 16:00 on 20 June 2014  Report this post
James,

Sorry it has taken me so long to get to your poem.  It is very intriguing - the chess analogy, the war metaphor, the personification of the pawns, from every walk of life.  I find echoes as well of the Russian Revolution, when the sides conspired and turned against the Tsar. 

It's a unique fantasy for a chess endgame because, as you know, the vast majority of the pawns (or footsoldiers) are sacrificed by then and the big powers are left to fight it out.  Also, as I am sure you considered, it is an opposite to the way that Beckett depicted the remaining pieces in his stage play with the same name (Endgame) as your poem.  I wondered if you had this stark contrast with Beckett in mind as you wrote the poem?

Excellent poem - I have no word change suggestions.

Ralph
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Kat49 at 20:34 on 10 August 2014  Report this post
I like the way that you name each of your pawns and give your reader a personal detail about them, whilst the higher pieces remain anonymous beyond their generic titles - queen, rook, bishop. It gets your reader rooting for the underdog. The chess game works well as a metaphor for war, too, with the church, the monarchy and the aristocracy making the decisions that affect the lives of the soldiers who actually fight the wars. The idea of a revolution in this context is refreshing. Interesting poem. 
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James Graham at 13:52 on 12 August 2014  Report this post
Thanks, Kat. I was unsure whether this idea would work, but from your response and others I think probably it does. And belated thanks to Ralph and others for further comments, which I missed at the time. Ralph, I'm afraid Beckett is one of those writers who just don't get through to me; I can kind of see the originality but it's not my thing. So the title's the same, but that's as far as it goes!

James.
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