Universal Language
by Spanx
Posted: 17 January 2004 Word Count: 11422 Summary: Gary Price doesn't know that he is insane—totally unaware of the twelve-year old personality that co-exists with his adult identity. Carlin has two sides to his sexuality, and one of them is a sadistic killer. Dr Jones carries within him the ghost of a dead school friend. Across Internet chatrooms and continents, Carlin hunts Gary Price, to deliver him to the doctor, who will make Gary pay dearly for a crime that is thirty years old. |
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Content Warning
This piece and/or subsequent comments may contain strong language.
This piece and/or subsequent comments may contain strong language.
1
In a visceral way he is aware of her pain—as if the ropes around her wrists and ankles are
biting into his own flesh, the bruising around her throat is cramping the passage of air to
his own lungs, and the damage to her genitals is translated to a thick ache in his own
groin. He is appalled to see her suffer, even though he is the cause of it.
She’s done with her whimpering now; the pathetic sobs. She’s done with every attempt to
stop him from doing what he had to do. It’s finished and there’s no going back. For either
of them. He supposes that they will both find a way, eventually, of accepting what they’ve
become, and the mistakes they made to bring this terrible thing into their lives.
He thinks that look on her face shows disgust at herself. She understands that she’s been
dirtied in a way like never before. Maybe part of her believes she could have prevented it.
The bloodied smut, like handcuffs around her wrists; the bruising to her collarbone, the
welt on her cheek, the tears dried in mascara clots beneath her fragile eyes. The sheets
torn; the pillowcase shredded—Jesus, was it really that manic?—and the floor littered with
broken furniture. He daren’t look upon himself, knowing that the evidence of this crime is
written in the streaks of sweat, the sore knuckles, the panic throbbing in his groin. There
are professionals who can itemise all that filth and proof.
> Yes, a scraping of skin, hell, not even that much, just a molecule of a cell, and they’ll
process their inarguable DNA tests, and nail you. What’s the bitch doing now?
He turns away from the keyboard for a moment, takes a long hard look at her before typing
his reply into the flashing window of the Internet message program.
> She’s not doing a damn thing, not a thing. She looks dead, with her eyes open and
staring, but her pulse is there, I can see that, skipping across her neck. What do I do
with her?
> Leave her. She’s finished. She’s paid for her stupidity. Focus! You have to think about
yourself now.
He is thinking about himself. He’s thinking that his friend’s advice isn’t going to be
worth a damn when this girl stumbles into a police station, battered and bloody, and says
the one filthy word which will condemn the rest of his life.
Rape.
He’s looking at the computer screen, watching the modem timer tick away the minutes of his
normal life, for the first time not worrying about the cost of his excessive Internet use,
not caring for the pitifulness of endless hours trawling chatrooms and community bulletin
boards, the cyber sex in U2U message panes which substitute for real life loving—not caring
about the sadness of it all because he knows that what happened tonight will make it
trivial.
Tonight he met a girl from his favourite chatroom. He met her IRL—the biggest step he has
taken in an effort to crawl out from behind the keyboard and rejoin the human race. He met
her and raped her. Now he’s on-line with GiftHorse, his mentor and advisor. A man whose
Internet handle he carries with arrogance, but which he deserves for all the help he has
given people within this artificial world they have created for themselves.
IRL—in real life—he took the big step out from behind the keyboard and over the threshold
into reality. He brought her here and all she wanted to do was go on-line and into the
chatroom and tell everyone that she’d met him and dated him and he wasn’t anything like he
pretended to be. She wanted to tell them all how pathetic he was.
He couldn’t let her do that.
So maybe he didn’t live up to his on-line persona, and maybe photographs he sent out to
people in the Room were touched up to make him look better than he really did. So maybe he
had a sparkling wit only when he typed flirtations in chatrooms. The truth of it? . . .
Maybe he was nothing in the flesh—IRL—one big damn disappointment.
All the same, she didn’t deserve what she got.
But he knows that he will.
2
It doesn’t matter what the venue is, the size of stage, the volume of audience. The
lighting can be a sad washed out splash from a single overhead bulb or a river of
coruscating colours from strobes and floods. Nothing matters but the music.
Bass and beat, waterfall harmonies, bloody-fingered guitar licks—all that voodoo which
makes the fire in your gut. And that fire transports you to any venue you dare to imagine
in the trapped moments on stage. The music is all; it makes you a star, a legend, a god.
Feedback from the crowd ebbs and flows. The show from top to finish is a rascal, teasing in
its unpredictability. Nothing matters but the music.
A crack rang out above the cacophony of rhythm. It sounded like a rimshot. I turned back to
look at the drummer. I knew where those shots were supposed to come in and that place
wasn’t one of them. I mean, it didn’t matter; it didn’t spoil anything. It just wasn’t
meant to be there.
The drummer’s head lay sideways across the snare drum. On the tour bus this player slept on
a snare for a pillow and used a carriage case as a mattress. You couldn’t separate the
player from the kit without surgery. So the music pounded against the drummer’s right ear,
transported from the stage monitors to resonate back through the kit.
I smiled, with some nostalgia of the affection I once felt for her. She often laid her head
across the skin of the snare to feel the reverberations: it had a childish charm about it.
Tracy couldn’t get close enough to the music; I swear to God she’d wear the music if you
stitched it into a pit-stained sweatshirt.
A pool of crimson spread from beneath her cheek and across the drumskin.
Another wrong thing in another wrong place.
Again, it really didn’t matter if the lighting director had fouled a cue. One splash of red
over the drummer was not about to ruin the show. But I was puzzled now. That was two
out-of-place things in as many seconds. We were too tight for those kind of mistakes.
I suppose the understanding came over me like the selfish ecstasy of a hot lick in a
middle-eight break. It’s when the skin prickles as though needles are pushing outwards from
within you.
I saw the puncture in her temple, briefly highlighted by a passing laser. I saw the crimson
pool spreading, running down the barrel walls of the drum. I saw the blood whips streaked
across the high cymbal. And I finally understood Tracy was dead.
Some madman in the crowd had shot my drummer and Tracy was dead on the snare drum,
sweat-lined sticks resting limply in her hands.
I was subliminally aware of the commotion as Security raced for the killer at the back of
the hall, and the rest of the band looked on as Tracy bled the music from her soul on to a
Tama drum.
This is hard to believe—I know. But scarcely three minutes later the band kicked off again;
a click track on a hastily set-up drum machine running alongside us, to fill the gap
Tracy’s death had made.
The crowd thought it was all stage stuff. They applauded, complimenting our ‘dramatics’.
Because we played on.
Are we heartless, godless, mercenary? I don’t think so. No. True players are none of those
things really. It’s just that when you cut right through the hype and ego, the tantrums and
traumas, forget the melodrama of the circus ring, don’t even think of it in terms of
performance art, you’ll understand.
You’ll understand that nothing matters but the music.
That’s how I see it. But considering where I ended up, my philosophy could probably use
some adjustment.
3
We closed the show with three more songs. Tracy was removed when the lighting engineer
blacked-out the hall between numbers. A smoke machine clouded soothing disguises around the
drum kit.
All part of the stage stuff.
Frantic signals from stage-right insisted we keep playing. Security must’ve figured that an
abrupt stop could cause a riot: crowds want their tickets’ worth; and of course they didn’t
understand something was actually wrong. So we rattled out three stomping R&B
twelve-bars—the kind you improvise on the spot, no thought required—and we played in dumb
shock, our music as staid and automatic as the synthetic beat of the drum machine’s loop
which replaced Tracy.
Then we were in the dressing room. And no one said a damn thing. No one knew what to say.
We drank mechanically from the complimentary crate of Lowenbrau. And waited for the police
to come and tell us why four of us were now three.
Death becomes her.
That stupid, inappropriate phrase was running through my mind, maybe because she died on
stage snuggled into her music, caressing her precious kit.
The questioning was both aggressive and conciliatory. The police are like that when they’re
confused. Detective Inspector Whatever (name lost in the foggy fields of my memory now)
wanted to know: “Why did you play on?”
“Because Rock and Roll is theatre and the curtain wasn’t down.”
He didn’t like my flippancy but let it go with a raised eyebrow and a scribbled note in his
pad. “This is not the kind of thing we expect to happen at Newcastle City Hall.”
I laughed without humour. “This is not the kind of thing anybody expects to happen
anywhere.”
“We didn’t get him, or her, the killer.”
“We know. Heard your guys cursing.”
“Gut instinct tells me it was a pro. The precision of the shot. The clean, fast getaway.
Even caused a diversion with a couple of rats—let them loose near the main exit. There was
pandemonium. Not the kind of thing—”
“. . . You’d expect in this country let alone a Newcastle concert hall. Yes. I gathered
that. So much for gun control. Guess your assassin didn’t take advantage of the amnesty.”
DI Whoever cleared his throat, looked briefly at his colleague, and frowned at my opening
another beer. “That won’t help.”
“Nor will it hurt.”
I suppose my sarcasm is a defence thing. He was right. The drink wasn’t helping. My guts
were rolling nausea and I was cold all over and no one else in the band had yet said a
word. Perhaps they couldn’t. I think at least one of them was crying in that stubborn way
that shows no tears; just chokes off all the words somewhere in the throat.
I was staring at Tracy’s camera. Hooked over the dressing room door. Her beloved Canon A1.
An old SLR. It went everywhere with her. It looked lost and disowned. Who was going to take
our pictures now?
“Needless to say we will have to take statements from all of you at the station.”
I looked at him, and made no effort to disguise the pleading in my voice. “Christ, man—not
tonight.” My head was shaking, trying to make it all go away. “It’s late, we’re out of it,
we’re probably pissed. Any doctor would tell you we’re shocked right down to our socks. And
before you ask the inevitable, the answer is no—we don’t know of any reason why someone
would want to kill our Tracy.”
And then my own tears reached right up from the belly and poured embarrassingly down my
cheeks. Out of focus, water-blurred, I saw the detective nod, sombrely, maybe
sympathetically. So they took some details, names and addresses, what to them is probably
‘the usual paraphernalia’.
“It can wait till morning.”
And they departed quietly, leaving us to grieve. And drink. And weep like mute children.
4
“They’re going to ask me tomorrow, about my relationship with Tracy, aren’t they?”
Flapjack nodded. “So what. It’s history. Got nothing to do with anything.” His delicate
little hand flicked the cap off another Lowenbrau with a rusty bottle opener.
“I know. But I treated her shitty. They’ll judge me. They’ll talk to her parents and
they’ll say I treated her like dirt.”
Ian stood up, wiping his eyes with the back of a sweaty hand. “Gary. Get a grip. And stop
being so fucking selfish. You’re worried the police might call you a cad? Tracy is dead.”
I hung my head. “Sorry, man. My brain’s all over the place.”
One of the road crew came in, gently, as though he were walking on broken glass. Which he
was: we were all nerve-shattered and edgy. He looked at us steadily. Then just said,
“Gear’s stacked and racked. We’ll be off. Probably see you tomorrow at the cop shop.”
“Yeah.”
“Thanks,” Ian said.
The roadie nodded. “Bad timing, huh?”
The three players looked at him.
“I mean, you’re this close to a record deal. Maybe a big deal. And this happens.”
Joe was a slow-witted man-mountain with arms like gnarled branches and a heart bigger than
heaven. He didn’t mean to be clumsy. But he was right. A band of middle-aged blues players,
no-hopers in the big scale of things, right there on the brink of celebrity. We’d won a
local TV talent contest, had a pretty good response to a demo, a moderate hit on local
radio, and prior to this showcase gig at City Hall, a record signing with the sweet
attachment of an advance on royalties. It all happened in a year. After two decades living
out of a Transit van, trailing the club circuit country-wide, juggling marriages and
divorces, kids and careers, and miraculously sticking together through all of it, the clock
was finally ticking round to our Fifteen Minutes. Things were going so well I recklessly
thought I might even get Jeanette back.
But now Tracy was dead. The needle had skidded off the record and the music stopped.
I looked around the dressing-room and saw my thoughts mirrored in the faces of the other
two—
yes, bad timing.
When nothing matters but the music, you get incredibly selfish.
5
It’s 6 AM, and he’s worn down, exhausted by his own fears. So much of what happened through
the night is blurred in his memory, as though it all happened a long time ago. But he knows
he has a lot to be afraid of, even if those fears are clotted in his half-crazed mind. Of
course, he has only to look at the girl, half-lidded eyes as she fades in and out of sleep,
or consciousness; and the machine on his computer desk could display a full History of the
conversation throughout the night between Scaly and GiftHorse. But does he really want to
remember it all? No, he would rather leave unanswered the question ‘How could I do that to
another human being?’
He’s afraid of the answer.
> Thanks for staying with me.
> No problem.
> You shouldn’t have done. You could be traced.
> Hey, never look a GiftHorse in the mouth <s>
Lenny permits himself a wan smile. It quickly fades. His head aches with confusion. He is
desperate to make sense of what happened—how it happened. Why can’t he remember the actual
doing of the dirty deed? Why is it he can only be certain that he did do it?
> I don’t know how it happened. I mean, maybe I’m just too tired to visualise the
specifics, but somewhere in the last six hours I seem to have the whole thing muddled up.
I’m sorry I dragged you into this.
> Scaly, don’t worry about it, m8. You got yourself into a mess, you reached out for a
friend. I’d have done the same.
> You wouldn’t have got yourself into this mess in the first place. Oh Jesus, man . . .
what do I do now? If I let her go she’ll run straight to the cops. But I can’t keep her
here indefinitely.
> She led you on. Just remember that. These teasing bitches are all the same. Is it any
wonder it turns out like this? As to what you should do—let me give it some thought.
> I appreciate your understanding, m8. When I told you what I’d done, I fully expected you
to condemn me and half-expected you to run for the police. Why didn’t you?
On the screen Lenny receives the alert: UNABLE TO SEND MESSAGE NOW. RECIPIENT HAS
DISCONNECTED FROM SERVER. AUTOSEND LATER? He clicks the OK button. And feels suddenly very
alone. It’s unlikely that GiftHorse would have deserted him at a time like this, after
staying with him the whole night. Most likely his Internet connection just timed-out. He
rubs his clammy hands across his eyes, leans back in the chair, and prays that GiftHorse
will hurry up and reconnect.
“Let me go. Please . . . let me go.”
Lenny swings around in the office chair, startled by the frail voice which cut the silence.
Tied to the bed, fresh tears running, congealed makeup like pimples on her stricken face,
and blood . . . Where in God’s name did the blood come from? He can’t remember.
“I can’t let you go,” he says. “Because I know what’ll happen.”
She struggles to shake her head. “I won’t. Honest, I won’t tell anyone.”
“Of course you will. And I couldn’t blame you.”
“You can’t keep me here forever. What happens when . . .” Of course her voice trails off
then. Because she is arguing him into a corner. She is negotiating for her freedom, but
giving him no way out other than to kill her.
He can’t let her go and he can’t keep her.
“My God,” she says, “you’re not thinking of—”
He stands up, stretching the ache out of his bones. He has sat at the computer typing
frantically to his on-line mentor for hours. He has ignored cramps and nausea and the
gradual numbing of limbs.
“Please don’t kill me. You’ll make things worse for yourself. Let me go now, and it’ll be
the end of it. I shan’t tell. And even if you think I will, remember it would be your word
against mine. But if you kill me, they’ll catch you. And then you’ll really pay.”
“I’m not going to kill you,” he says. “I’m not a killer.”
Not a killer? He didn’t think he was a rapist this time yesterday.
“My word against yours?” he says. “That’s a joke. When it comes to rape, a man is guilty
until proven innocent.”
No matter how much he struggles, he can not recall the actual deed . . . this ‘rape’ word
he just used. Rape is an act of violence, yet he has no memory of that, either. But the
proof is there before his eyes. He does remember making love with her. But it wasn’t
forced.
Of course it was! It had to be. But his mind doesn’t want to accept it. So the memory
fudges the filthy deed and pretends it to be innocent lovemaking. It does that so he can
live with himself. (Some chance!)
“Who have you been talking to, on the computer all night?”
He can’t tell her that. Can’t make GiftHorse an accessory to the act. He reminds himself to
scrub the hard-drive before he lets her go. Not just format it . . . you can still recover
deleted files from a formatted disk. He’ll have to wipe it thoroughly with a magnet, make
it as permanently damaged as this poor girl’s mind. And stupidly the idea of doing that to
his precious PC is heartbreaking. That computer, and its desk and surrounding
attachments—it’s the centrepiece of his home, the heart of his life. The only thing he took
out of his failed marriage was an Advantage P120 and what little was left of his pride.
Bitterness kept him company for a while, but gradually the overpowering decay of his life
became unbearable. He looked for all manner of ways to escape the confinement of
loneliness. Only Internet chatrooms provided that escape. In chatrooms he made friends till
his eyes stung from screen glare.
He doesn’t remember which was the first Room. Or what he said to break into their
community. There were a lot of people in his life suddenly, a lot of new friends, a lot of
foolishness and fun, romantic and sexual nonsense typed in this boundless non-committal
world of cyber relationships. It was innocent and inane. Harmless escapism which didn’t
hurt a soul.
Until he agreed to meet someone—InRealLife. And raped her.
Now he sits in the tattered armchair, with a bottle and a cigarette, looking over at the
gateway to his artificial reality, then over to the bed at the ruined girl. She’s closed
her eyes, seems to have collapsed, or given up any hope of survival.
Perhaps she’s silently raking through the ashes of her spirit for courage. He wonders if
she’s trying to do that thing women do in these situations—detach the mind from the body,
sacrifice the flesh to spare the soul.
He drinks, and smokes, and waits for GiftHorse to ping him on the PC.
6
Morning.
Crude, unwelcome daylight flushed the sleep out of my eyes. The front door clicked with a
determined finality when I pulled it shut. I had the sense that the house was glad to be
rid of me.
The police could wait. First thing I had to do was see Tracy. It was an awful, compulsive
need. Wouldn’t be dismissed.
Despite the mental exhaustion, and the alcohol still glued to my white blood cells, I had
arisen at the ungodly hour of ‘mid-morning’. Then I left home, my brand new lavish little
place, and headed for a hellish place I don’t ever want to see again.
Would they let me see her? Could I stomach seeing her? Was she already embalmed, laid out
in her eternal box, cold meat served up with a garnish of flowers? Was she ready for
visitors and was I cynical enough today to look upon the corpse of a loved one without my
legs folding beneath me?
The summer sun had failed to crack this day open yet. Maybe it had retreated out of respect
for my black mood. It rained lightly, from grizzled clouds massing like celestial threats.
I wasn’t going to drive—probably still too damn drunk to drive. So I walked to the
hospital, hands buried in the sizeable pockets of a duffel coat, collar turned up. Rain
found a passage through the crooked fold of the coat collar, chasing down the curve of my
spine, made easy by the slack way my head hung. It didn’t matter. I was already soaked.
Soaked in defeat. Throughout most of the night I’d struggled to believe it, to accept it.
Life’s a bitch and then you die, that sort of rubbish. Half the night I’d sat up watching
videos, and the movie Bladerunner gave me the line: the candle that burns twice as bright
burns half as long.
Well, Tracy did burn bright, briefly. But clichés and movie dialogue didn’t aid the
struggle. So I’d had a few hours of unquiet sleep, and awoke defeated. Because no way could
I find a sanity in which the event of last night could possibly have happened. Seeing Tracy
was the only way I could be certain that I was sane—that it really did happen.
My stomach rolled peas of sulphurous acid, and when I belched, a taste like rotten eggs
exploded in my mouth.
The walk took about ten minutes. It was one of empty faces, hollow babble, alien textures.
Everyone I passed seemed indifferent and I felt angry because they didn’t share my pain. I
didn’t belong on their pavements. I moved through the chattering streets with a dislocated
impetus. Something made my feet move, but they only moved for lack of a better idea.
As I approached the ambulance bay, shortcutting to the main entrance, I thought of Tracy as
more than a lover, more than a friend and a player that I’d lost.
She had been my nurse. An emotional medic who skilfully tended my injuries after the
marital wreckage.
The first sense of feeling when something slams into your face takes a few moments to
arrive. Initially there is a blank haze, as though the brain has been switched off at the
mains. Gradually the nerves and chemicals stutter back to life. Like they’ve got their own
emergency generator. And then you know you’ve been damaged. When that knowing came, an
ambulance’s rear doors were open before me, a collection of hands dragged me upright and
forced me towards those doors, and pain began an insistent thud through my head.
“You’re late for school, Mr. Price. Can’t have that.”
The words crawled through the throbbing in my ears. But I was deaf to the meaning in them.
So the generator in me went spastic. I lashed out. A thud came down hard on my shoulder. I
tried to spin round, but something held me. Panicked, confused, scared, I kept swinging my
fists. But I was swinging at faces I couldn’t see. I kicked out at phantoms. Punched
blindly and head-butted nothing but fresh air.
Arms strangled my chest, bleeding oxygen from my lungs. A thump in my lower back sent a
shuddering pain through the kidneys. A clammy palm covered my eyes, and my mouth when I let
out a grunt intended to be a cry for help. There were too many fucking arms and too much
confusion. Some part of my brain still hadn’t responded to the danger, seemed to be slowing
me down with the leaden weight of shock.
I hadn’t time to be shocked.
Maybe for just a heartbeat I snatched a moment of lucidity. Because I understood that this
was a clumsy attack. Not a co-ordinated assault; not efficient.
I’ve been efficiently attacked before. I know the difference.
Maybe it was a fist or a foot or some weapon thudding into my jaw, but I lost precious
seconds of lucid thought. When I reassembled my mind, dragging a sliver of reasoning from
the puddle of mess in there, I saw three men stood before me in a half-circle. My back was
against one of the ambulance’s doors. A smile flickered across the face of the nearest man
when he stepped forward and threw his fist at my chin. Before it made full contact I
slammed my head back against the door, as hard as I dared. Pain roared in my skull. But
adrenaline purged the dizziness.
I slumped, fell to my knees, groaned good and loud, drew a hand across my eyes, pretended I
was losing consciousness. Arms reached under mine to lift me to my feet. I let my body hang
as a dead weight in the man’s grip.
“Feisty little shit, isn’t he? Think he’s going to take a nap now?”—Laughter.—“Get his
legs, throw him on the gurney.”
Through half-lidded eyes I peeked at the man who bent to grab my feet. He looked back,
satisfied I was groggy. Bent lower.
My foot swung up fast and viciously. I heard bone crunch. I stabbed an elbow into the other
man’s forehead. He squealed. It sounded pathetic, almost made me laugh.
Adrenaline. The magic of chemical temper.
And now I had broken free . . . was running like a lunatic sprinter. Didn’t waste a second
looking back. Energy pumped with the blood through the muscles in my legs. The assault had
made me delirious. Like a mad sod I thought I could run forever. Some crazed part of me
hoped they would chase. I wanted to outrun them and leave them crippled with exhaustion,
watching the ‘feisty little shit’ disappear across the horizon.
But they didn’t chase. And as it turned out, I didn’t run away. Because after slowing up,
stopping, taking a few moments of calming-breaths—I found myself wondering: were they just
after me, or trying to keep me from seeing Tracy?
Only one way to find out. I made a decision I would live to regret.
I ran back.
As though I were sneaking across deserted school grounds, I ran light on my feet. I was
afraid, but I was desperate to understand. Who wanted to hurt me?
The rain-clouds peeled open a little. Sun struggled through, to light the arena for the
gods. For their spectator sport.
7
. . . I’m damned if I can think of a suitable nickname for myself—said Lenny, soon after
joining his first chatroom. GiftHorse came up with ‘Scaly’. Why that?—Lenny wanted to know.
GiftHorse said: You told me once that your ex-wife had a phobia about snakes? Used to say
why would God make such an evil slimy scaly creature, and put it in the Garden Of Eden? So
pick a name . . . Evil—Slimy—Scaly—Creature—etcetera. And Lenny typed LOL—laughing out
loud—and replied: Well given those choices, I guess Scaly is the most useable . . .
Lenny’s dream meanders through chatroom memories, part-remembered conversations distorted
by the subconscious. But the dream slams shut when . . .
Ping. The computer.
Lenny snaps open his eyes, rushes across to the desk, praying it’s GiftHorse. A quick
glance at the girl, but she seems preoccupied with the spilt contents of her handbag,
strewn across the bed. He vaguely remembers searching the bag for a condom at some point
last night, but is damned if he knows why. It’s not the kind of thing you worry about when
you’re intent on rape.
It isn’t GiftHorse on the PC—it’s a crazy pattern of checkerboard squares. Dissolving into
the centre is a dialogue window. A message crawls across the window, in each corner of
which is a skull and crossbones.
The girl can see the screen and she begins laughing. “You’ve been hacked. I’ve seen that
program before. Ha! You might as well let me go now. Someone else must know what’s going
on. I wouldn’t—”
“Shut up!”
He sits down, gripping the table’s edges, staring at the message repeating itself over and
over. It makes no sense. And yet he feels that it ought to. It pesters at his memory, as if
the message means to nudge something loose inside his head. Then GiftHorse comes
splashing across the screen. His message window obliterating the intruder.
> You were hacked!
> I know. Who was it?
> Didn’t get a trace in time. That’s why I broke our connection, to try and nail him.
Sorry. Couldn’t get a fix.
> Thanks for trying. It’s the least of my problems at the moment.
> How’s the girl?
> Close to hysterical. One minute she’s in a trance, next minute she’s laughing like a
demented hyena.
> I’m sorry, m8—but it gets worse. The police are on their way.
Lenny’s fingers freeze over the keyboard. The police are on their way. How the hell could
that happen? How could they know?
GiftHorse might have been reading his mind to spare his fingers the effort of typing.
> We’ve been talking all night and I thought we were secure. You’ve got your firewall up,
haven’t you, Scaly?
Of course he had. But a firewall doesn’t provide complete protection. Although the odds of
someone listening in on this particular night were ridiculous. The odds of that someone
also having the technical knowledge to crack a firewall were even more so. Yet someone did
hack him. Someone called Jackson who threw a crazy message across Lenny’s screen. Had he—or
she—called the police?
> Must’ve been the hacker called the cops.
No. Doesn’t make sense. GiftHorse is wrong. The hacker’s message suggested he was on
Lenny’s side, suggested he was trying to warn him about something.
Lenny turns to look at the girl, because she has started to laugh again. Only now she’s
laughing quietly, as if she knows something Lenny doesn’t, as if she has her own precious
secret.
He gets out of the chair, walks to the bed, pulls at her left arm, which is securely tied
behind her head to the board railing. He pulls at her right arm, and it comes away, the
butcher’s string frayed where it has snapped. Her wrist is bruised and bloody. She must
have been tugging at the string all night while he typed.
“Fucker!”—she spits in his face. And from her hand drops a palm-sized mobile phone.
He picks it up. It’s an Eriksson T20S. The flip-lid is closed. But on the screen it says
‘Message Sent’.
“It’s a WAP phone, you bastard. I sent an e-mail to four numbers in the memory. You’re
stuffed!”
Oh Jesus . . .
He can hear the thunder of feet on the floors below. No sirens; but they wouldn’t use
sirens on their approach, would they? The building is being evacuated. He rushes across to
the window, and the vista in the street below is straight from a movie clip.
He is surrounded by armed police. And he understands that whatever options he had have just
been simplified. Give it up or die.
> I’m finished, Carlin. I’ve got no way out now.
There’s a pause before GiftHorse replies. Within which a demanding voice is issuing
ultimatums to Lenny through a bullhorn. The police shouldn’t do that, should they? Aren’t
they supposed to talk him down carefully? They must know he has a hostage and he might very
well be insane . . .
> I’ll stay with you, friend. Whatever happens. I’ll stay.
The girl is laughing and sobbing, a strange mixed-up noise from the back of her throat.
> No. No. Disconnect! They’ll find you. This is not your problem. Pull the plug and get
away from your computer.
> No. I’m staying. I’m worried what you might do.
Lenny is glad that Carlin refuses to leave him. He is too bloody terrified to be alone with
this hysterical bitch. She’s too clever. She feigned stupidity and fear all night, working
her right arm loose from its restraint; she got hold of her mobile phone; she e-mailed for
help. The very technology that brought so many new friends into Lenny’s life—that brought
her into his life—has been turned against him.
> I have to let her go. She scares me.
GiftHorse is perhaps confused at this. But he will understand eventually.
> She’s all you’ve got to bargain with, m8. Are you sure?
> Yes. It’ll only make things worse if I keep her.
> So you’re giving yourself up? Just like that? Is there no way out?
> I’m not giving up. I couldn’t handle prison.
> Oh shit, Len. You’re not thinking the unthinkable, are you?
> LOL—(He pretends to be amused by Carlin’s suggestion. He doesn’t want him to worry about
the ‘unthinkable’.) He tells him—
> —I’m too much of a coward to kill myself. No, my friend. There’s no way out. They’ll have
the building locked up tight. But I’ll not make it easy for them.
Carlin—aka GiftHorse—doesn’t reply immediately. Not too often you can leave GiftHorse
speechless. But he finally makes it back to Lenny’s screen with what seems like a shopping
list of instructions.
He has no better ideas. And Lenny trusts GiftHorse. A lot of people trust him because it’s
easy to trust strangers when they’re on the other side of a screen and you feel protected
by the privacy of your anonymity, and no one can see your eyes, nor hear a voice that might
betray secrets—no matter what lies, truths, or evils you might confess to the Room.
Lenny reads again the advice from his friend. Then he leaves the keyboard, goes to the
girl, pulling a lock-knife from his trouser pocket. One last triumph as terror strikes a
pose across her face. But he only cuts the butchers’ string, steps back, nods at the door.
She doesn’t run. Her legs are probably half-numb. Rather she hobbles, looking sideways at
him, glaring fear from her bloodshot eyes. She turns her back on him a moment, to navigate
the cluttered stairs that lead from his flat to the ground floor. That’s when he hits her.
Clumsily, but hard enough across the base of her skull.
Her pulse is ragged, but stubborn. She’ll live.
He carries her unconscious body down to the cellar. A mould-lined grid allows broken
daylight and whispers of air into the musty storeroom. He pushes the grid out from the
wall, and lifts her body, shoving it through to the outside yard, and a freedom she can not
yet appreciate. She will wake up in overgrown grass, amid trash and overflowing garden
skips. She’ll gag at the smell clinging to her skin—until she realises that she’s no one’s
prisoner any longer.
On the way back up to his flat, doing the other thing GiftHorse told him to do, he wonders
if he was only protecting her from some part of himself over which he has no control. He
wonders if he might have got so desperately indifferent to the situation, that he would
have killed her. But she’s gone now, and Lenny is relieved that he won’t have to test his
own humanity.
8
There was only one of them still there in the ambulance bay. Which was a relief. One was
all I needed to get some answers and probably all I could handle, even with the element of
surprise as my advantage.
Stooped down by the ambulance’s rear off-side wheel, a psi gauge pressed into the valve,
checking the tyre’s pressure, he didn’t notice me slide up behind him.
I had taken the belt off my jeans, had it stretched between my hands like a garrotte. In
one swift movement I looped it over his neck and yanked him back. I let go of the belt and
he fell, banging his skull on the tarmac. Before he was able to recover, I stood over him,
put my left foot on his throat, and applied just enough pressure to make him gag.
“You’ve got precious little time, mate. And even less breath. So for every question I ask,
I’ll release my foot just long enough for you to answer. Fuck me about, and I’ll drain your
lungs dry. Got it?”
He stared up at me, goggle-eyed. I realised at that moment that I didn’t recognise him from
our earlier encounter. But considering the madness of that assault, I probably wouldn’t
have recognised any of the three who attacked me. Maybe the one who slammed his fist at my
face. Maybe him I’d recognise. But this man wasn’t him. He was late-forties, stockily
built, dark hair thinning and greyed at the temples. I quickly scanned the ambulance bay,
and thanked a god I could never decide whether to believe in for the fact that it was
deserted. I knew it wouldn’t stay that way for long. I needed answers quickly.
“Why did you attack me?”
I released the pressure on his throat enough for him to answer. He tried to shake his head
but gave up when I exerted a little more coercion.
"One more chance. Why?”
He coughed dryly and with a gagging sound. “Didn’t. Don’t know what . . . you
mean.” His words came out as though each was balanced on the thinnest edge of a breeze. I
pressed again. And his hand slapped down on the tarmac, as if submitting in a wrestling
bout.
“Why?”
“I . . . didn’t do anything. I swear it, man. Not me.”
I wondered for a moment. Obviously my attackers had been posing as ambulancemen.
And if this guy was one of them, would he still be here now, bothering to check tyre
pressures? Yet, how do three fake medics get away with an attack in broad daylight; three
men who had intended to hustle me into that ambulance? This ambulance. I recognised it from
the deep metal scar on its rear bumper: an image subconsciously noted in my memory when I’d
been bundled towards it.
“What’s your shift?”
His choked response came back, “Eight . . . to . . . four.”
I relaxed my foot a little. “Your job. What’s your job?”
“Maintenance. I clean them, check tyres, oil, water. Routine . . . stuff.”
“How many others work your shift?”
I fired these questions at him fast, alternately pressing and releasing my foot
against his throat—with the full weight of my body behind it. He was starting to pale,
probably going to vomit.
“Two. One. One other.”
“Make your mind up.”
“Normally two. One is off sick.”
“Where is the other?”
“Supply room.”
“For how long?”
The man hesitated. He couldn’t look at his watch so he had to guess. “About, about
. . . an hour.”
I did some guessing of my own. From leaving the scene of the attack, to
returning—fifteen minutes at most. “So you’ve been on your own a good half hour?”
“Yeah. Honest. I don’t know what your problem is, man. There’s just me—”
“Precisely! Just you. So if three impostors dressed up as ambulance medics and
messed with your vehicle, you’d know about it.”
He didn’t answer. In fact he closed his eyes for some reason. I wondered if he’d
passed out. On the radio in the garage I heard a clip of a News report about some guy in
another part of the city, holding a girl hostage. Something about Internet date rape. A man
who frequented chatrooms—(well, you and me both, pal, I thought). It was a man known on the
Net as Scaly.
Impossible!
I must’ve misheard. Either that or someone had chosen an unfortunate nickname. A
painful flash-memory reminded me what I didn’t want reminding of: the name Scaly died
thirty years ago. But they repeated his name. “Lenny Mitchell, also known as Scaly in
Internet chatrooms, where he enticed the woman, who can not be named at this stage, to a
meeting . . .” And so on.
Police marksmen were “attending” the scene. Well good for them! I could have used
some police marksmen on the scene about fifteen minutes ago. Tracy could have used some
last night.
The man’s eyes were still shut when he flapped his hand again. I let up on the
pressure. “Okay. Alright. I was paid to take a walk,” he said. “I’m part-time. I don’t earn
a lot and I don’t give a shit what goes on around here. Some guy shoves fifty quid in my
hand and tells me to disappear. I . . . I just went to the toilet. I have a bad gut. Spend
half my days in the toilet.”
I could see more than greed in his eyes. I saw fear, and I didn’t think it was only
me he was afraid of. “Wasn’t just the money, was it?”
“No. One of them . . . he . . . he was a fucking gorilla. He’d have hurt me. Worse
than you’re doing. I could see it in his face. The kind that enjoys hurting people. They
don’t pay me enough to be a hero.”
“No,” I muttered. “Don’t suppose they do. Shut your eyes again. Count to thirty.
Open them at the wrong time and I’ll crush your windpipe. Understand?”
He made a pained effort to nod.
I was gone and making my way through the main building by the time he would have
reached fifteen.
I still had to see Tracy. Maybe I’d find some answers there. Maybe I’d find nothing
more than the refreshed pain of losing her. Confusion was settling like thick fog.
I’m sceptical about coincidences. Tracy dead. I’m attacked on my way to say goodbye
to her corpse. A name I hadn’t heard for over three decades was probably going to get
professionally executed for going Chatroom-Crazy . . . and the weather had shifted from
drizzled grey to white heat!
What the hell was going on in Newcastle?
9
A crisp blue sky like ironed linen allowed a few drifting clouds to move across the sun:
they were quickly digested by the fierce yellow ball. Beaded sweat broke out on the exposed
flesh of a crowd enjoying the perfect summer’s morning and the madness on Lassiter Street.
Peterson was late getting to the scene. He ran over to where the negotiator
squatted, and behind the safety of the vehicle, doubled up to draw in some air. Finally he
got enough breath to spit on the ground, a couple of inches from Bill Reece’s left shoe.
Reece frowned. “For a skinny runt you ought to have more energy. And that’s a
disgusting habit, by the way.”
Peterson grinned. “It’s a disgusting world and I’ve got a disgusting taste in my
mouth. So fuck off.”
“Serves you right for piling French mustard on your dogs. Told you before, that
stuff’s not suitable for English bellies. Let me guess, were you on the shitter when the
shout went up?” The two men were crouched behind the bonnet of an ARV, a pistol in
Peterson’s fist, a bullhorn in Reece’s, the sun beating down mercilessly on their heads.
“His name’s Lenny Mitchell. And he’s got himself a young female hostage. That’s about all
we know at the moment. Unfortunately, the Media know it, too.”
“Already? How?”
“We’re the ringmasters in an electronic circus.”
“What?”
Reece shook sweat off his head, smiling without any real humour. “You’ll see.”
Until the armed response units, the local squad cars, the anti-terrorist unit and
the bomb squad had bludgeoned their way into this road, it had been a poor but relatively
quiet residential suburb of Newcastle. Now, police tape and uniformed officers had cordoned
off the area. Officers trained in the use of firearms, and siege analysts trained in the
use of psychopaths, were waiting. The crews of six ambulances and four fire engines were
also waiting. They sat in or near their vehicles, variously sipping coffee from thermos
flasks provided by neighbouring householders, updating their superiors through hand-held
radios. To what degree of patience they waited varied greatly with each individual.
Peterson was not one of the patient ones. He was all for storming the building and
shooting at anything that moved. It was the first situation he’d been called in to deal, in
which he had been authorised to draw a weapon. He was itching to make the most of it.
The voice, hoarse from shouting, came again through the upstairs front left window.
“We’ll burn in hell, you bastards. I mean it. The bitch will die and it will be your
fault!”
A balloon of thick grey smoke tumbled over the roof of the end terraced house,
breaking into snaking ribbons as it rose. The fire crews could only look on as the fire
worsened. The hostage-taker had made it plain, he didn’t trust any of them. No firemen; no
hoses, no water, no nothing. Or he’d kill the girl.
The two adjoining houses had been converted to flats some years back. Today, by the
ill-conceived actions of a delinquent, they had been converted to a crime scene. Peterson
would like to have relocated this scene to somewhere more glamorous. A high street bank
maybe. A major office complex.
Of all the mundane places to find yourself in your first siege situation . . .
As far as Peterson was concerned, this perp wasn’t too bright. Almost sure to be a
product of foster homes and detention centres, a man who’d rode the bus of misdemeanour
felonies all the way to the terminus of rape, kidnap and arson. Peterson already had him
pegged as a pathetic figure, made even more so by the futility of being one excitable
villain surmounted by an army of highly-trained police officers.
In truth, Peterson couldn’t have been more wrong in his appraisal of Lenny
Mitchell. But he would never know just how wrong he was.
The windows were smog-blackened, and flames were eating a steady track from the
rear of the building to the front. The top floor still remained fire-free, and there was no
apparent fire to the two floors below. But although the fire had evidently been started on
the ground floor, it was only a matter of time before the flames crawled up to the roof.
Assuming the dump didn’t fall flat on its haunches first.
The muffled sobs of the girl’s mother could be heard, despite the comforting of the
young constable, despite the splintering and buckling of timber and plaster. A light breeze
whispered through what was left of the building, and more ribbons of smoke breathed at the
sky.
Peterson prayed for a glimpse of the lunatic before the fire consumed him, so that
he could put his firearms’ training to good use. It would be a real strike to beat those
stolid-faced marksman on the trigger.
“We have confirmation on the gun,” said the negotiator. “But it’s only an air
pistol. Guess that’s why he used the fire.”
Peterson looked around. “You’ve seen the gun?”
“No. The silly bugger has as good as told us—and anyone else listening. Welcome to
the circus. Get this—he’s on-line, on a computer. He’s chatting away to an accomplice.” The
black man shrugged. “Can you believe the stupidity? These computer nerds can jack into the
World Wide Web and make microchips dance. But they haven’t got the brains to avoid getting
themselves into this kind of no-win shit. They—”
“Okay okay. Spare me the sociopath profiling.” Peterson had precious little
interest in the psychology of criminals, and his interest in computers was strictly for
entertainment. “Chatting, you said?”
Bill Reece was a big man, round-chested and thick-necked. His ebony skin was
streaked with sweat. Yet despite the heat, and the effect it had on his huge build, he
still emitted an air of lazy calm. Even in squat position, when he sighed it seem to crawl
up leisurely from his ample gut to his bulbous face. “He’s got an open line to a friend.
We’re monitoring from the van.” He nodded at the command vehicle. “Seems he’s asking for
advice. He didn’t plan on the fire getting so big. Set a small blaze going to make us back
off—then lost control of it.”
“We got anything we can use yet? Family, wife, girlfriend?”
The negotiating officer fiddled irritably with the radio receiver in his ear.
Plastic was hot; felt like it was melting into his head. “So far only what we’ve picked up
from the computer. And these nerds use so many aliases it takes a while to track down a
genuine ID. But we’ll get the rest soon enough. The girl’s e-mail gave us his name. Her
friend who called it in knew of him, from some Internet chatroom. Then the switchboard lit
up with this guy’s chat buddies calling to say they knew he was on-line. So we brought our
specialists along to see if they could listen in.”
Peterson looked exasperated. “How’d these ‘buddies’ know he was on a computer?”
“Our bad guy is using a fairly simple chat program—a direct messenger service.
Anyone on the same service logged in his computer address book knows when he’s on the wire.
Like I say, our boys tapped in, and that’s how we know about the air pistol. His friend
just told him to wave it around, and maybe we’d back off. Trouble is, our kid is losing it.
The fire has panicked him and he can’t see a way out of this mess. Despite his big threats,
he’s terrified out of his wits.”
Peterson looked back up at the window. And with no little sarcasm said, “So how’s
the negotiating coming along?”
“Not too well,” Reece mumbled. “He’s too hysterical to negotiate. Hold up.” A voice
crackled in his radio earpiece.
A few moments later he said, “Well, at least we now have a clue why he’s gone over
the edge. The girl was an Internet date. It went wrong. The girl was teasing about him not
being anything like he’d made out in the chatroom. He flipped, and the poor lass found
herself the victim of an Internet date rape. He’s been spilling his guts to his on-line
friend.”
“So what now? You haven’t even got a line of communication with this lunatic.
Unless you’re planning to go negotiate in a bloody chatroom with him.”
Reece had the patience of a man used to far more testy customers than this
over-zealous newbie. It was well-known that Peterson was a moody sycophant who had no time
for his colleagues but all the time in the world for the superiors who could promote his
career. Some high-level arse-kissing must have brought Detective David Peterson into this
traumatic situation today. And he was the last man Reece would want waving a gun around,
with license to pull the trigger at will.
Still taking info from the radio feed in his ear, Reece breathed out his
irritation. “Seems the man is being encouraged by the accomplice. Bargaining for his
freedom. Wants us to back up out of here or he’ll keep the girl and they’ll go down in
flames.”
Whilst the two men watched the fire spreading, the smoke thickening, waiting for
the next move from Lenny Mitchell, the technicians in the command vehicle were busy at
their computers. In addition to eavesdropping on the messenger chat, they had also traced
the accomplice, over four-hundred miles away in North London. Met police were on their way
there.
Outside, in the hazy stagnated street, Peterson looked up. He stared into the
crowd—looking for a face he knew he wouldn’t see.
If Sandra could see him now, it would validate everything she’d ever complained
about. She had left him three months earlier, as soon as his move to armed-response was
finalised. She wasn’t happy him being in the force in the first place. So the fact that he
seemed to get high on any part of the job which involved violence, showed a side of him
that frightened her. Peterson remembered the earlier days, when he’d get home from a nasty
crowd-control duty at a football ground . . . and he knew it showed—he couldn’t help it—the
glow, the high of the adrenaline rush that hit him when the riot gear went on and the
batons came out.
“Maybe I’ve got a death wish,” he muttered.
Reece heard him. “Why? You itching to charge in there? Because if you are, kiss
your career goodbye and don’t expect any sympathy from me.”
Peterson ignored him. No, of course he wasn’t ‘itching’ to charge into a
fire-ravaged building and risk the life of the hostage in the hope of putting a bullet into
the head of a misfit. But if Reece and his crew didn’t get something happening soon, they’d
all be blaming themselves for the girl’s death because of their inaction. Sooner or later
somebody was going to have to go in. And later was running out.
Peterson looked beyond the barricades, at the main street which carried on with its
business in an unconcerned way. The traffic rumbled listlessly on roads which looked wet
with heat-haze. And the pavements stunk. Obviously it was ‘rubbish’ day, because black bags
were piled all along the kerbsides, waiting to be gathered by the bin wagon which wouldn’t
now be coming.
What a miserable setting for his first armed operation.
But, despite that . . . supposing he did somehow get the man, and bring the hostage
out alive? What would Sandra think then? Maybe she’d finally understand that it does
sometimes take a sledgehammer to crack a nut.
Beyond the cordon, Peterson saw inquisitorial faces, anonymous and sweat-wet.
Maybe she wasn’t there, in amongst them, but this was a live scene—it was all over
the News already. More than one cameraman had been pushed back beyond the cordon. But they
had those zoom lenses, didn’t they? They could be focused on him right now. Sandra was
likely watching this on TV.
The onlookers swiped perspiration from their brows. They had ice creams melting in
their fists. They gawped with poised excitement. The open door of a pub on the High Street
let out the strains of Radar Love—an old classic rock track Peterson remembered from his
courting days.
The atmosphere contrived to make him feel as though he were on a stage.
A small fair-haired girl—maybe eight or nine years old—plaited hair and short
summer dress, stared intently at him. He became self-conscious for a moment, but that
didn’t stop him admiring the pencil-thin lightly-tanned legs beneath her dress. Aware
suddenly of his role in this drama, Peterson looked back at her, smiling. Then,
ridiculously, he winked, and twirled the pistol around his trigger finger.
He looked away quickly when Bill Reece laughed. His face flushed with
embarrassment. Yet despite being caught off-guard for that moment, still he felt that the
part he was casting for himself in this stage-drama . . . well, it suited him! And no one
else was doing a damn thing except playing with bloody computers.
Good God Almighty—let the snotnosed brat poke his head out of that damn window for
just five seconds.
Peterson was overwhelmed with a sense of his own heroic role. In moments that
flooded his brain with a brief chemical madness, he became the only hope that poor girl
had. He is the hero that isn’t supposed to belong in the modern police force. He is dubbed
by the media ‘Dirty Harry’—the man that defies the book, but gets the job done.
If only!
The modern force didn’t allow for ‘Dirty Harry’ policing. Showing a little
initiative these days was the fastest route back to uniformed beat patrol.
The shrill chime of his mobile phone broke into his thoughts. “Shit. Hang on a
minute.”
Bill Reece laughed. “Sure. We’ll hang on while you take your call. Do let us know
when the situation is okay to proceed.”
Peterson, still squatting, turned his back to lean against the vehicle. “Hello?”
“Hello, Detective. My name is Carlin. It is most important that I speak with you.”
Peterson tapped the phone with his knuckles. There was something wrong with the
connection. The voice in the earpiece sounded robotic, like one of those synthetic
computer-generated voices. “Listen, mate, this is not the best time to sell me
double-glazing. I’m in the middle of—”
“I know what you’re in the middle of, Detective. In fact I can see clearly what
you’re in the middle of. Look up to the traffic lights. You’ll see a small security camera
watching over this fascinating scene. And I’m watching over you.”
Peterson glanced up, saw the camera. “Who the hell are you and what do you want?”
he growled.
“Well, as to who I am, you may call me GiftHorse—a pseudonym I borrowed for this
situation, which allows me to impersonate the friend of a confused and frightened man in a
burning flat. By the way, I’m sorry to have disappointed your officers who by now will
undoubtedly have raided a deserted apartment in Wembley, finding only the notebook computer
I left behind. But as to what I want . . . well, here comes the candle to light you to bed.
And here comes the chopper to chop off your head.”
Peterson’s mind raced through a gallery of flashing memories and scattered phrases,
none of which made sense. But they were important. He knew they were important. He saw a
man in his mind’s eye, typing sick suggestions into a chatroom screen. Here comes the
candle to light you to bed, and here comes the chopper to chop off your head…
That sick paedophile was himself.
“I must inform you that I am well aware of your little hobby.”
Peterson pressed the phone close against his head. “What do you mean, my hobby?”
“Your penchant for visiting certain Internet chatrooms, in which you sweet-talk the
naïve little children who have no inclination of the kind of pervert you are.”
David Peterson had shivers sprinting the length of his spine. “How do you . . . I
mean, what in God’s name are you talking about?”
“Don’t waste time in denial, Detective. I have proof. And if it weren’t too late to
warn you, I would suggest that for future reference you protect your computer from
intruders. Intruders like me, who can rearrange the duty roster on the mainframe of a
constabulary system to make sure that you were called to this particular scene.”
Peterson’s mind spun. Good God! When he got the call it had seemed to good to be
true. But could this jerk truly have done that? Broken into the police computer
network—fixed it so that he, Peterson, ended up here today? “What do you want from me,
apart from the opportunity to brag?”
“What I want is for you to do only what you’re desperate to do anyway. I want you
to ignore the fumbling reticence of your black colleague. I want you to get into that
building and do your duty. The man, Lenny Mitchell, is a menace to society. And the only
effective way to remove this menace is to shoot the little devil’s brains out the back of
his head. Do this for me, Detective Peterson, and you will never hear from me again. Your
tacky sexual orientation shall remain your business, and your business alone—though I
suspect your wife has some inkling of it but that’s no concern of mine.”
There was a pause, within which Peterson was unaware of the bustle in the crime
scene around him, unaware of the TV News’ cameras panning, unaware of everything but the
terrifying realisation that someone knew of his personal and demanding desires which he had
always been sure were secreted on his hidden laptop computer.
Understanding that he was being blackmailed, by a man whose voice was disguised by
some kind of distortion gadget, a man who wanted—truthfully—what he wanted himself . . .
Peterson felt his anger turn to fear. His career, his marriage, his very safety in an
intolerant society, were all in jeopardy if this man was prepared to expose him. Was he
bluffing? No—Peterson didn’t believe he was. It had come as one hell of a surprise to find
himself assigned to this detail, so fresh from the training program that permitted him to
carry a weapon. This man had arranged everything, but for what purpose?”
“Why do you want him dead?”
The synthesised voice replied: “Because there is a much bigger picture here than
you could possibly imagine, Detective. Now do your job. Go in there, take the rapist down,
and make sure that our atrociously ineffective legal system doesn’t allow a man like that
to ever walk the streets again.”
“Hey, when you’ve quite finished, you want to get your arse over here a minute,
lad. I’m getting an update on the situation. You haven’t time for sweet-talking your bloody
wife or mistress or whoever the hell it is.”
Peterson waved his hand dismissively at Bill Reece. “Yes, yes, I’m coming, get out
of my face. This is important.”
“Detective,” the voice said insistently, “think of this, if it helps. As a
policeman you have dabbled in the madness of mankind as though it were some kind of idle
past-time, a fancy with which to pass a few empty hours. But now you have a gun—and the
authority to use it at your discretion. Now you have the power to eradicate this madness.
Yours are unique skills, David Peterson. In a society which relies so heavily upon its
advanced technology for survival and progress, you possess the one gift which is beyond
compare. The courage to act upon your convictions, no matter the consequence or criticism.”
“It’s not that simple,” Peterson whispered. “I can’t just blaze a trail into that
building, no matter how much I’d like to. There’s rules, protocols. And I need—”
“You need do only what your conscience suggests—and what I insist!”
The line went dead.
Peterson knew that he had no choice but to follow the urgency in his blood-thirsty
soul, and the demands of the mysterious caller. He looked up at the camera again, knowing
that somewhere some clever bastard was watching over him, had been watching over him for
God-knew how long, and that his life was in this voyeur’s hands.
So now he is walking hurriedly towards the side-door of the building, whilst the
upstairs window is flooding with smoke, blinding Lenny Mitchell to Peterson’s movements. He
is ignoring the yells from Bill Reece—“What the fuck are you doing?—for God’s sake get back
here and . . . ”
He is unconcerned with Reece shouting. Reece has been informed by a confused
technician that someone called Jackson has hacked into their system, and delivered them a
message.
<<< Lenny is going to kill himself. His so-called friend, GiftHorse—has arranged things to
end that way. Lenny doesn’t know it but he has no choice. Unless you stop him. >>>
Reece has also been informed that they lost the accomplice. They found a computer
in an abandoned tenement flat in Wembley, still hooked to the web. But no accomplice.
Peterson is unaware of all this behind-the-scenes stuff. Unaware too that the girl
hostage has stumbled from the back yard of the house, walking like a shell-shocked war
veteran into the throng of madness on the street.
He is in the building now, kicking broken door frames aside, heedless of the
approach of flames, picking his way up the broken staircase, gun extended, safety off,
blood-red veins pulsing in his eyes, holding his breath from the toxic fumes.
He has found the room and stepped through the wreckage of its doorway. The man is
sat on the floor, knees drawn upto his chest and his arms locked around them. He is rocking
back and forth, oblivious to Peterson’s presence. The girl has gone. She must have
escaped—leaving the crazed nerd to nurse his own insanity.
There is just David Peterson and Lenny Mitchell. And Peterson has a firearm that
mocks the silly air pistol discarded by the man’s feet. The policeman understands all of
this in moments of fury. He has been robbed. Robbed of the chance to save the girl. Robbed
of the chance to be a hero.
The man looks up at Peterson, staring in dumb stupidity at the pistol.
Peterson raises his arm to fire. He will put a precise hole in the forehead of
Lenny fucking Mitchell and say he had no choice. Because even an air pistol can do serious
damage at close range. Peterson will say he was protecting his own life. And Peterson will
pray to God Almighty that the man who called him on his cellular phone will honour his
promise. No one must ever know of his depraved appetites, diagrammed in Internet Chatrooms
which he has been penetrating for months, masquerading as a fourteen year-old, trying to
lure naïve young girls into IRL meetings.
The lighted match which Lenny has been holding for just a few seconds falls from
his hand.
Peterson notices too late that he is standing in a pool of paraffin. A small heater
lays on its side, and a canister has spilt its contents across the charred floorboards.
Flames streak, suddenly and brutally, toward the policeman. He never gets to see the
computer screen which lays on the floor by the villain, nor the message text scrolling left
to right, repeating itself over and over . . .
<<<Scaly??? Lenny Mitchell??? My name is Thomas Jackson. Don’t let this happen. You’ve been
used by GiftHorse, and by myself. I am so sorry. I had to protect someone, but I never
meant for you to get so involved. You didn’t rape anyone. You were set up. There’s been too
much blood . . . too much. And there’ll be more. I don’t want your death on my conscience.
It was all my fault—my fault! GIVE YOURSELF UP BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!>>>
There is an explosion, which to Peterson is like the detonation of applause after a
stage show. It’s the last thing he ever hears.
In a visceral way he is aware of her pain—as if the ropes around her wrists and ankles are
biting into his own flesh, the bruising around her throat is cramping the passage of air to
his own lungs, and the damage to her genitals is translated to a thick ache in his own
groin. He is appalled to see her suffer, even though he is the cause of it.
She’s done with her whimpering now; the pathetic sobs. She’s done with every attempt to
stop him from doing what he had to do. It’s finished and there’s no going back. For either
of them. He supposes that they will both find a way, eventually, of accepting what they’ve
become, and the mistakes they made to bring this terrible thing into their lives.
He thinks that look on her face shows disgust at herself. She understands that she’s been
dirtied in a way like never before. Maybe part of her believes she could have prevented it.
The bloodied smut, like handcuffs around her wrists; the bruising to her collarbone, the
welt on her cheek, the tears dried in mascara clots beneath her fragile eyes. The sheets
torn; the pillowcase shredded—Jesus, was it really that manic?—and the floor littered with
broken furniture. He daren’t look upon himself, knowing that the evidence of this crime is
written in the streaks of sweat, the sore knuckles, the panic throbbing in his groin. There
are professionals who can itemise all that filth and proof.
> Yes, a scraping of skin, hell, not even that much, just a molecule of a cell, and they’ll
process their inarguable DNA tests, and nail you. What’s the bitch doing now?
He turns away from the keyboard for a moment, takes a long hard look at her before typing
his reply into the flashing window of the Internet message program.
> She’s not doing a damn thing, not a thing. She looks dead, with her eyes open and
staring, but her pulse is there, I can see that, skipping across her neck. What do I do
with her?
> Leave her. She’s finished. She’s paid for her stupidity. Focus! You have to think about
yourself now.
He is thinking about himself. He’s thinking that his friend’s advice isn’t going to be
worth a damn when this girl stumbles into a police station, battered and bloody, and says
the one filthy word which will condemn the rest of his life.
Rape.
He’s looking at the computer screen, watching the modem timer tick away the minutes of his
normal life, for the first time not worrying about the cost of his excessive Internet use,
not caring for the pitifulness of endless hours trawling chatrooms and community bulletin
boards, the cyber sex in U2U message panes which substitute for real life loving—not caring
about the sadness of it all because he knows that what happened tonight will make it
trivial.
Tonight he met a girl from his favourite chatroom. He met her IRL—the biggest step he has
taken in an effort to crawl out from behind the keyboard and rejoin the human race. He met
her and raped her. Now he’s on-line with GiftHorse, his mentor and advisor. A man whose
Internet handle he carries with arrogance, but which he deserves for all the help he has
given people within this artificial world they have created for themselves.
IRL—in real life—he took the big step out from behind the keyboard and over the threshold
into reality. He brought her here and all she wanted to do was go on-line and into the
chatroom and tell everyone that she’d met him and dated him and he wasn’t anything like he
pretended to be. She wanted to tell them all how pathetic he was.
He couldn’t let her do that.
So maybe he didn’t live up to his on-line persona, and maybe photographs he sent out to
people in the Room were touched up to make him look better than he really did. So maybe he
had a sparkling wit only when he typed flirtations in chatrooms. The truth of it? . . .
Maybe he was nothing in the flesh—IRL—one big damn disappointment.
All the same, she didn’t deserve what she got.
But he knows that he will.
2
It doesn’t matter what the venue is, the size of stage, the volume of audience. The
lighting can be a sad washed out splash from a single overhead bulb or a river of
coruscating colours from strobes and floods. Nothing matters but the music.
Bass and beat, waterfall harmonies, bloody-fingered guitar licks—all that voodoo which
makes the fire in your gut. And that fire transports you to any venue you dare to imagine
in the trapped moments on stage. The music is all; it makes you a star, a legend, a god.
Feedback from the crowd ebbs and flows. The show from top to finish is a rascal, teasing in
its unpredictability. Nothing matters but the music.
A crack rang out above the cacophony of rhythm. It sounded like a rimshot. I turned back to
look at the drummer. I knew where those shots were supposed to come in and that place
wasn’t one of them. I mean, it didn’t matter; it didn’t spoil anything. It just wasn’t
meant to be there.
The drummer’s head lay sideways across the snare drum. On the tour bus this player slept on
a snare for a pillow and used a carriage case as a mattress. You couldn’t separate the
player from the kit without surgery. So the music pounded against the drummer’s right ear,
transported from the stage monitors to resonate back through the kit.
I smiled, with some nostalgia of the affection I once felt for her. She often laid her head
across the skin of the snare to feel the reverberations: it had a childish charm about it.
Tracy couldn’t get close enough to the music; I swear to God she’d wear the music if you
stitched it into a pit-stained sweatshirt.
A pool of crimson spread from beneath her cheek and across the drumskin.
Another wrong thing in another wrong place.
Again, it really didn’t matter if the lighting director had fouled a cue. One splash of red
over the drummer was not about to ruin the show. But I was puzzled now. That was two
out-of-place things in as many seconds. We were too tight for those kind of mistakes.
I suppose the understanding came over me like the selfish ecstasy of a hot lick in a
middle-eight break. It’s when the skin prickles as though needles are pushing outwards from
within you.
I saw the puncture in her temple, briefly highlighted by a passing laser. I saw the crimson
pool spreading, running down the barrel walls of the drum. I saw the blood whips streaked
across the high cymbal. And I finally understood Tracy was dead.
Some madman in the crowd had shot my drummer and Tracy was dead on the snare drum,
sweat-lined sticks resting limply in her hands.
I was subliminally aware of the commotion as Security raced for the killer at the back of
the hall, and the rest of the band looked on as Tracy bled the music from her soul on to a
Tama drum.
This is hard to believe—I know. But scarcely three minutes later the band kicked off again;
a click track on a hastily set-up drum machine running alongside us, to fill the gap
Tracy’s death had made.
The crowd thought it was all stage stuff. They applauded, complimenting our ‘dramatics’.
Because we played on.
Are we heartless, godless, mercenary? I don’t think so. No. True players are none of those
things really. It’s just that when you cut right through the hype and ego, the tantrums and
traumas, forget the melodrama of the circus ring, don’t even think of it in terms of
performance art, you’ll understand.
You’ll understand that nothing matters but the music.
That’s how I see it. But considering where I ended up, my philosophy could probably use
some adjustment.
3
We closed the show with three more songs. Tracy was removed when the lighting engineer
blacked-out the hall between numbers. A smoke machine clouded soothing disguises around the
drum kit.
All part of the stage stuff.
Frantic signals from stage-right insisted we keep playing. Security must’ve figured that an
abrupt stop could cause a riot: crowds want their tickets’ worth; and of course they didn’t
understand something was actually wrong. So we rattled out three stomping R&B
twelve-bars—the kind you improvise on the spot, no thought required—and we played in dumb
shock, our music as staid and automatic as the synthetic beat of the drum machine’s loop
which replaced Tracy.
Then we were in the dressing room. And no one said a damn thing. No one knew what to say.
We drank mechanically from the complimentary crate of Lowenbrau. And waited for the police
to come and tell us why four of us were now three.
Death becomes her.
That stupid, inappropriate phrase was running through my mind, maybe because she died on
stage snuggled into her music, caressing her precious kit.
The questioning was both aggressive and conciliatory. The police are like that when they’re
confused. Detective Inspector Whatever (name lost in the foggy fields of my memory now)
wanted to know: “Why did you play on?”
“Because Rock and Roll is theatre and the curtain wasn’t down.”
He didn’t like my flippancy but let it go with a raised eyebrow and a scribbled note in his
pad. “This is not the kind of thing we expect to happen at Newcastle City Hall.”
I laughed without humour. “This is not the kind of thing anybody expects to happen
anywhere.”
“We didn’t get him, or her, the killer.”
“We know. Heard your guys cursing.”
“Gut instinct tells me it was a pro. The precision of the shot. The clean, fast getaway.
Even caused a diversion with a couple of rats—let them loose near the main exit. There was
pandemonium. Not the kind of thing—”
“. . . You’d expect in this country let alone a Newcastle concert hall. Yes. I gathered
that. So much for gun control. Guess your assassin didn’t take advantage of the amnesty.”
DI Whoever cleared his throat, looked briefly at his colleague, and frowned at my opening
another beer. “That won’t help.”
“Nor will it hurt.”
I suppose my sarcasm is a defence thing. He was right. The drink wasn’t helping. My guts
were rolling nausea and I was cold all over and no one else in the band had yet said a
word. Perhaps they couldn’t. I think at least one of them was crying in that stubborn way
that shows no tears; just chokes off all the words somewhere in the throat.
I was staring at Tracy’s camera. Hooked over the dressing room door. Her beloved Canon A1.
An old SLR. It went everywhere with her. It looked lost and disowned. Who was going to take
our pictures now?
“Needless to say we will have to take statements from all of you at the station.”
I looked at him, and made no effort to disguise the pleading in my voice. “Christ, man—not
tonight.” My head was shaking, trying to make it all go away. “It’s late, we’re out of it,
we’re probably pissed. Any doctor would tell you we’re shocked right down to our socks. And
before you ask the inevitable, the answer is no—we don’t know of any reason why someone
would want to kill our Tracy.”
And then my own tears reached right up from the belly and poured embarrassingly down my
cheeks. Out of focus, water-blurred, I saw the detective nod, sombrely, maybe
sympathetically. So they took some details, names and addresses, what to them is probably
‘the usual paraphernalia’.
“It can wait till morning.”
And they departed quietly, leaving us to grieve. And drink. And weep like mute children.
4
“They’re going to ask me tomorrow, about my relationship with Tracy, aren’t they?”
Flapjack nodded. “So what. It’s history. Got nothing to do with anything.” His delicate
little hand flicked the cap off another Lowenbrau with a rusty bottle opener.
“I know. But I treated her shitty. They’ll judge me. They’ll talk to her parents and
they’ll say I treated her like dirt.”
Ian stood up, wiping his eyes with the back of a sweaty hand. “Gary. Get a grip. And stop
being so fucking selfish. You’re worried the police might call you a cad? Tracy is dead.”
I hung my head. “Sorry, man. My brain’s all over the place.”
One of the road crew came in, gently, as though he were walking on broken glass. Which he
was: we were all nerve-shattered and edgy. He looked at us steadily. Then just said,
“Gear’s stacked and racked. We’ll be off. Probably see you tomorrow at the cop shop.”
“Yeah.”
“Thanks,” Ian said.
The roadie nodded. “Bad timing, huh?”
The three players looked at him.
“I mean, you’re this close to a record deal. Maybe a big deal. And this happens.”
Joe was a slow-witted man-mountain with arms like gnarled branches and a heart bigger than
heaven. He didn’t mean to be clumsy. But he was right. A band of middle-aged blues players,
no-hopers in the big scale of things, right there on the brink of celebrity. We’d won a
local TV talent contest, had a pretty good response to a demo, a moderate hit on local
radio, and prior to this showcase gig at City Hall, a record signing with the sweet
attachment of an advance on royalties. It all happened in a year. After two decades living
out of a Transit van, trailing the club circuit country-wide, juggling marriages and
divorces, kids and careers, and miraculously sticking together through all of it, the clock
was finally ticking round to our Fifteen Minutes. Things were going so well I recklessly
thought I might even get Jeanette back.
But now Tracy was dead. The needle had skidded off the record and the music stopped.
I looked around the dressing-room and saw my thoughts mirrored in the faces of the other
two—
yes, bad timing.
When nothing matters but the music, you get incredibly selfish.
5
It’s 6 AM, and he’s worn down, exhausted by his own fears. So much of what happened through
the night is blurred in his memory, as though it all happened a long time ago. But he knows
he has a lot to be afraid of, even if those fears are clotted in his half-crazed mind. Of
course, he has only to look at the girl, half-lidded eyes as she fades in and out of sleep,
or consciousness; and the machine on his computer desk could display a full History of the
conversation throughout the night between Scaly and GiftHorse. But does he really want to
remember it all? No, he would rather leave unanswered the question ‘How could I do that to
another human being?’
He’s afraid of the answer.
> Thanks for staying with me.
> No problem.
> You shouldn’t have done. You could be traced.
> Hey, never look a GiftHorse in the mouth <s>
Lenny permits himself a wan smile. It quickly fades. His head aches with confusion. He is
desperate to make sense of what happened—how it happened. Why can’t he remember the actual
doing of the dirty deed? Why is it he can only be certain that he did do it?
> I don’t know how it happened. I mean, maybe I’m just too tired to visualise the
specifics, but somewhere in the last six hours I seem to have the whole thing muddled up.
I’m sorry I dragged you into this.
> Scaly, don’t worry about it, m8. You got yourself into a mess, you reached out for a
friend. I’d have done the same.
> You wouldn’t have got yourself into this mess in the first place. Oh Jesus, man . . .
what do I do now? If I let her go she’ll run straight to the cops. But I can’t keep her
here indefinitely.
> She led you on. Just remember that. These teasing bitches are all the same. Is it any
wonder it turns out like this? As to what you should do—let me give it some thought.
> I appreciate your understanding, m8. When I told you what I’d done, I fully expected you
to condemn me and half-expected you to run for the police. Why didn’t you?
On the screen Lenny receives the alert: UNABLE TO SEND MESSAGE NOW. RECIPIENT HAS
DISCONNECTED FROM SERVER. AUTOSEND LATER? He clicks the OK button. And feels suddenly very
alone. It’s unlikely that GiftHorse would have deserted him at a time like this, after
staying with him the whole night. Most likely his Internet connection just timed-out. He
rubs his clammy hands across his eyes, leans back in the chair, and prays that GiftHorse
will hurry up and reconnect.
“Let me go. Please . . . let me go.”
Lenny swings around in the office chair, startled by the frail voice which cut the silence.
Tied to the bed, fresh tears running, congealed makeup like pimples on her stricken face,
and blood . . . Where in God’s name did the blood come from? He can’t remember.
“I can’t let you go,” he says. “Because I know what’ll happen.”
She struggles to shake her head. “I won’t. Honest, I won’t tell anyone.”
“Of course you will. And I couldn’t blame you.”
“You can’t keep me here forever. What happens when . . .” Of course her voice trails off
then. Because she is arguing him into a corner. She is negotiating for her freedom, but
giving him no way out other than to kill her.
He can’t let her go and he can’t keep her.
“My God,” she says, “you’re not thinking of—”
He stands up, stretching the ache out of his bones. He has sat at the computer typing
frantically to his on-line mentor for hours. He has ignored cramps and nausea and the
gradual numbing of limbs.
“Please don’t kill me. You’ll make things worse for yourself. Let me go now, and it’ll be
the end of it. I shan’t tell. And even if you think I will, remember it would be your word
against mine. But if you kill me, they’ll catch you. And then you’ll really pay.”
“I’m not going to kill you,” he says. “I’m not a killer.”
Not a killer? He didn’t think he was a rapist this time yesterday.
“My word against yours?” he says. “That’s a joke. When it comes to rape, a man is guilty
until proven innocent.”
No matter how much he struggles, he can not recall the actual deed . . . this ‘rape’ word
he just used. Rape is an act of violence, yet he has no memory of that, either. But the
proof is there before his eyes. He does remember making love with her. But it wasn’t
forced.
Of course it was! It had to be. But his mind doesn’t want to accept it. So the memory
fudges the filthy deed and pretends it to be innocent lovemaking. It does that so he can
live with himself. (Some chance!)
“Who have you been talking to, on the computer all night?”
He can’t tell her that. Can’t make GiftHorse an accessory to the act. He reminds himself to
scrub the hard-drive before he lets her go. Not just format it . . . you can still recover
deleted files from a formatted disk. He’ll have to wipe it thoroughly with a magnet, make
it as permanently damaged as this poor girl’s mind. And stupidly the idea of doing that to
his precious PC is heartbreaking. That computer, and its desk and surrounding
attachments—it’s the centrepiece of his home, the heart of his life. The only thing he took
out of his failed marriage was an Advantage P120 and what little was left of his pride.
Bitterness kept him company for a while, but gradually the overpowering decay of his life
became unbearable. He looked for all manner of ways to escape the confinement of
loneliness. Only Internet chatrooms provided that escape. In chatrooms he made friends till
his eyes stung from screen glare.
He doesn’t remember which was the first Room. Or what he said to break into their
community. There were a lot of people in his life suddenly, a lot of new friends, a lot of
foolishness and fun, romantic and sexual nonsense typed in this boundless non-committal
world of cyber relationships. It was innocent and inane. Harmless escapism which didn’t
hurt a soul.
Until he agreed to meet someone—InRealLife. And raped her.
Now he sits in the tattered armchair, with a bottle and a cigarette, looking over at the
gateway to his artificial reality, then over to the bed at the ruined girl. She’s closed
her eyes, seems to have collapsed, or given up any hope of survival.
Perhaps she’s silently raking through the ashes of her spirit for courage. He wonders if
she’s trying to do that thing women do in these situations—detach the mind from the body,
sacrifice the flesh to spare the soul.
He drinks, and smokes, and waits for GiftHorse to ping him on the PC.
6
Morning.
Crude, unwelcome daylight flushed the sleep out of my eyes. The front door clicked with a
determined finality when I pulled it shut. I had the sense that the house was glad to be
rid of me.
The police could wait. First thing I had to do was see Tracy. It was an awful, compulsive
need. Wouldn’t be dismissed.
Despite the mental exhaustion, and the alcohol still glued to my white blood cells, I had
arisen at the ungodly hour of ‘mid-morning’. Then I left home, my brand new lavish little
place, and headed for a hellish place I don’t ever want to see again.
Would they let me see her? Could I stomach seeing her? Was she already embalmed, laid out
in her eternal box, cold meat served up with a garnish of flowers? Was she ready for
visitors and was I cynical enough today to look upon the corpse of a loved one without my
legs folding beneath me?
The summer sun had failed to crack this day open yet. Maybe it had retreated out of respect
for my black mood. It rained lightly, from grizzled clouds massing like celestial threats.
I wasn’t going to drive—probably still too damn drunk to drive. So I walked to the
hospital, hands buried in the sizeable pockets of a duffel coat, collar turned up. Rain
found a passage through the crooked fold of the coat collar, chasing down the curve of my
spine, made easy by the slack way my head hung. It didn’t matter. I was already soaked.
Soaked in defeat. Throughout most of the night I’d struggled to believe it, to accept it.
Life’s a bitch and then you die, that sort of rubbish. Half the night I’d sat up watching
videos, and the movie Bladerunner gave me the line: the candle that burns twice as bright
burns half as long.
Well, Tracy did burn bright, briefly. But clichés and movie dialogue didn’t aid the
struggle. So I’d had a few hours of unquiet sleep, and awoke defeated. Because no way could
I find a sanity in which the event of last night could possibly have happened. Seeing Tracy
was the only way I could be certain that I was sane—that it really did happen.
My stomach rolled peas of sulphurous acid, and when I belched, a taste like rotten eggs
exploded in my mouth.
The walk took about ten minutes. It was one of empty faces, hollow babble, alien textures.
Everyone I passed seemed indifferent and I felt angry because they didn’t share my pain. I
didn’t belong on their pavements. I moved through the chattering streets with a dislocated
impetus. Something made my feet move, but they only moved for lack of a better idea.
As I approached the ambulance bay, shortcutting to the main entrance, I thought of Tracy as
more than a lover, more than a friend and a player that I’d lost.
She had been my nurse. An emotional medic who skilfully tended my injuries after the
marital wreckage.
The first sense of feeling when something slams into your face takes a few moments to
arrive. Initially there is a blank haze, as though the brain has been switched off at the
mains. Gradually the nerves and chemicals stutter back to life. Like they’ve got their own
emergency generator. And then you know you’ve been damaged. When that knowing came, an
ambulance’s rear doors were open before me, a collection of hands dragged me upright and
forced me towards those doors, and pain began an insistent thud through my head.
“You’re late for school, Mr. Price. Can’t have that.”
The words crawled through the throbbing in my ears. But I was deaf to the meaning in them.
So the generator in me went spastic. I lashed out. A thud came down hard on my shoulder. I
tried to spin round, but something held me. Panicked, confused, scared, I kept swinging my
fists. But I was swinging at faces I couldn’t see. I kicked out at phantoms. Punched
blindly and head-butted nothing but fresh air.
Arms strangled my chest, bleeding oxygen from my lungs. A thump in my lower back sent a
shuddering pain through the kidneys. A clammy palm covered my eyes, and my mouth when I let
out a grunt intended to be a cry for help. There were too many fucking arms and too much
confusion. Some part of my brain still hadn’t responded to the danger, seemed to be slowing
me down with the leaden weight of shock.
I hadn’t time to be shocked.
Maybe for just a heartbeat I snatched a moment of lucidity. Because I understood that this
was a clumsy attack. Not a co-ordinated assault; not efficient.
I’ve been efficiently attacked before. I know the difference.
Maybe it was a fist or a foot or some weapon thudding into my jaw, but I lost precious
seconds of lucid thought. When I reassembled my mind, dragging a sliver of reasoning from
the puddle of mess in there, I saw three men stood before me in a half-circle. My back was
against one of the ambulance’s doors. A smile flickered across the face of the nearest man
when he stepped forward and threw his fist at my chin. Before it made full contact I
slammed my head back against the door, as hard as I dared. Pain roared in my skull. But
adrenaline purged the dizziness.
I slumped, fell to my knees, groaned good and loud, drew a hand across my eyes, pretended I
was losing consciousness. Arms reached under mine to lift me to my feet. I let my body hang
as a dead weight in the man’s grip.
“Feisty little shit, isn’t he? Think he’s going to take a nap now?”—Laughter.—“Get his
legs, throw him on the gurney.”
Through half-lidded eyes I peeked at the man who bent to grab my feet. He looked back,
satisfied I was groggy. Bent lower.
My foot swung up fast and viciously. I heard bone crunch. I stabbed an elbow into the other
man’s forehead. He squealed. It sounded pathetic, almost made me laugh.
Adrenaline. The magic of chemical temper.
And now I had broken free . . . was running like a lunatic sprinter. Didn’t waste a second
looking back. Energy pumped with the blood through the muscles in my legs. The assault had
made me delirious. Like a mad sod I thought I could run forever. Some crazed part of me
hoped they would chase. I wanted to outrun them and leave them crippled with exhaustion,
watching the ‘feisty little shit’ disappear across the horizon.
But they didn’t chase. And as it turned out, I didn’t run away. Because after slowing up,
stopping, taking a few moments of calming-breaths—I found myself wondering: were they just
after me, or trying to keep me from seeing Tracy?
Only one way to find out. I made a decision I would live to regret.
I ran back.
As though I were sneaking across deserted school grounds, I ran light on my feet. I was
afraid, but I was desperate to understand. Who wanted to hurt me?
The rain-clouds peeled open a little. Sun struggled through, to light the arena for the
gods. For their spectator sport.
7
. . . I’m damned if I can think of a suitable nickname for myself—said Lenny, soon after
joining his first chatroom. GiftHorse came up with ‘Scaly’. Why that?—Lenny wanted to know.
GiftHorse said: You told me once that your ex-wife had a phobia about snakes? Used to say
why would God make such an evil slimy scaly creature, and put it in the Garden Of Eden? So
pick a name . . . Evil—Slimy—Scaly—Creature—etcetera. And Lenny typed LOL—laughing out
loud—and replied: Well given those choices, I guess Scaly is the most useable . . .
Lenny’s dream meanders through chatroom memories, part-remembered conversations distorted
by the subconscious. But the dream slams shut when . . .
Ping. The computer.
Lenny snaps open his eyes, rushes across to the desk, praying it’s GiftHorse. A quick
glance at the girl, but she seems preoccupied with the spilt contents of her handbag,
strewn across the bed. He vaguely remembers searching the bag for a condom at some point
last night, but is damned if he knows why. It’s not the kind of thing you worry about when
you’re intent on rape.
It isn’t GiftHorse on the PC—it’s a crazy pattern of checkerboard squares. Dissolving into
the centre is a dialogue window. A message crawls across the window, in each corner of
which is a skull and crossbones.
The girl can see the screen and she begins laughing. “You’ve been hacked. I’ve seen that
program before. Ha! You might as well let me go now. Someone else must know what’s going
on. I wouldn’t—”
“Shut up!”
He sits down, gripping the table’s edges, staring at the message repeating itself over and
over. It makes no sense. And yet he feels that it ought to. It pesters at his memory, as if
the message means to nudge something loose inside his head. Then GiftHorse comes
splashing across the screen. His message window obliterating the intruder.
> You were hacked!
> I know. Who was it?
> Didn’t get a trace in time. That’s why I broke our connection, to try and nail him.
Sorry. Couldn’t get a fix.
> Thanks for trying. It’s the least of my problems at the moment.
> How’s the girl?
> Close to hysterical. One minute she’s in a trance, next minute she’s laughing like a
demented hyena.
> I’m sorry, m8—but it gets worse. The police are on their way.
Lenny’s fingers freeze over the keyboard. The police are on their way. How the hell could
that happen? How could they know?
GiftHorse might have been reading his mind to spare his fingers the effort of typing.
> We’ve been talking all night and I thought we were secure. You’ve got your firewall up,
haven’t you, Scaly?
Of course he had. But a firewall doesn’t provide complete protection. Although the odds of
someone listening in on this particular night were ridiculous. The odds of that someone
also having the technical knowledge to crack a firewall were even more so. Yet someone did
hack him. Someone called Jackson who threw a crazy message across Lenny’s screen. Had he—or
she—called the police?
> Must’ve been the hacker called the cops.
No. Doesn’t make sense. GiftHorse is wrong. The hacker’s message suggested he was on
Lenny’s side, suggested he was trying to warn him about something.
Lenny turns to look at the girl, because she has started to laugh again. Only now she’s
laughing quietly, as if she knows something Lenny doesn’t, as if she has her own precious
secret.
He gets out of the chair, walks to the bed, pulls at her left arm, which is securely tied
behind her head to the board railing. He pulls at her right arm, and it comes away, the
butcher’s string frayed where it has snapped. Her wrist is bruised and bloody. She must
have been tugging at the string all night while he typed.
“Fucker!”—she spits in his face. And from her hand drops a palm-sized mobile phone.
He picks it up. It’s an Eriksson T20S. The flip-lid is closed. But on the screen it says
‘Message Sent’.
“It’s a WAP phone, you bastard. I sent an e-mail to four numbers in the memory. You’re
stuffed!”
Oh Jesus . . .
He can hear the thunder of feet on the floors below. No sirens; but they wouldn’t use
sirens on their approach, would they? The building is being evacuated. He rushes across to
the window, and the vista in the street below is straight from a movie clip.
He is surrounded by armed police. And he understands that whatever options he had have just
been simplified. Give it up or die.
> I’m finished, Carlin. I’ve got no way out now.
There’s a pause before GiftHorse replies. Within which a demanding voice is issuing
ultimatums to Lenny through a bullhorn. The police shouldn’t do that, should they? Aren’t
they supposed to talk him down carefully? They must know he has a hostage and he might very
well be insane . . .
> I’ll stay with you, friend. Whatever happens. I’ll stay.
The girl is laughing and sobbing, a strange mixed-up noise from the back of her throat.
> No. No. Disconnect! They’ll find you. This is not your problem. Pull the plug and get
away from your computer.
> No. I’m staying. I’m worried what you might do.
Lenny is glad that Carlin refuses to leave him. He is too bloody terrified to be alone with
this hysterical bitch. She’s too clever. She feigned stupidity and fear all night, working
her right arm loose from its restraint; she got hold of her mobile phone; she e-mailed for
help. The very technology that brought so many new friends into Lenny’s life—that brought
her into his life—has been turned against him.
> I have to let her go. She scares me.
GiftHorse is perhaps confused at this. But he will understand eventually.
> She’s all you’ve got to bargain with, m8. Are you sure?
> Yes. It’ll only make things worse if I keep her.
> So you’re giving yourself up? Just like that? Is there no way out?
> I’m not giving up. I couldn’t handle prison.
> Oh shit, Len. You’re not thinking the unthinkable, are you?
> LOL—(He pretends to be amused by Carlin’s suggestion. He doesn’t want him to worry about
the ‘unthinkable’.) He tells him—
> —I’m too much of a coward to kill myself. No, my friend. There’s no way out. They’ll have
the building locked up tight. But I’ll not make it easy for them.
Carlin—aka GiftHorse—doesn’t reply immediately. Not too often you can leave GiftHorse
speechless. But he finally makes it back to Lenny’s screen with what seems like a shopping
list of instructions.
He has no better ideas. And Lenny trusts GiftHorse. A lot of people trust him because it’s
easy to trust strangers when they’re on the other side of a screen and you feel protected
by the privacy of your anonymity, and no one can see your eyes, nor hear a voice that might
betray secrets—no matter what lies, truths, or evils you might confess to the Room.
Lenny reads again the advice from his friend. Then he leaves the keyboard, goes to the
girl, pulling a lock-knife from his trouser pocket. One last triumph as terror strikes a
pose across her face. But he only cuts the butchers’ string, steps back, nods at the door.
She doesn’t run. Her legs are probably half-numb. Rather she hobbles, looking sideways at
him, glaring fear from her bloodshot eyes. She turns her back on him a moment, to navigate
the cluttered stairs that lead from his flat to the ground floor. That’s when he hits her.
Clumsily, but hard enough across the base of her skull.
Her pulse is ragged, but stubborn. She’ll live.
He carries her unconscious body down to the cellar. A mould-lined grid allows broken
daylight and whispers of air into the musty storeroom. He pushes the grid out from the
wall, and lifts her body, shoving it through to the outside yard, and a freedom she can not
yet appreciate. She will wake up in overgrown grass, amid trash and overflowing garden
skips. She’ll gag at the smell clinging to her skin—until she realises that she’s no one’s
prisoner any longer.
On the way back up to his flat, doing the other thing GiftHorse told him to do, he wonders
if he was only protecting her from some part of himself over which he has no control. He
wonders if he might have got so desperately indifferent to the situation, that he would
have killed her. But she’s gone now, and Lenny is relieved that he won’t have to test his
own humanity.
8
There was only one of them still there in the ambulance bay. Which was a relief. One was
all I needed to get some answers and probably all I could handle, even with the element of
surprise as my advantage.
Stooped down by the ambulance’s rear off-side wheel, a psi gauge pressed into the valve,
checking the tyre’s pressure, he didn’t notice me slide up behind him.
I had taken the belt off my jeans, had it stretched between my hands like a garrotte. In
one swift movement I looped it over his neck and yanked him back. I let go of the belt and
he fell, banging his skull on the tarmac. Before he was able to recover, I stood over him,
put my left foot on his throat, and applied just enough pressure to make him gag.
“You’ve got precious little time, mate. And even less breath. So for every question I ask,
I’ll release my foot just long enough for you to answer. Fuck me about, and I’ll drain your
lungs dry. Got it?”
He stared up at me, goggle-eyed. I realised at that moment that I didn’t recognise him from
our earlier encounter. But considering the madness of that assault, I probably wouldn’t
have recognised any of the three who attacked me. Maybe the one who slammed his fist at my
face. Maybe him I’d recognise. But this man wasn’t him. He was late-forties, stockily
built, dark hair thinning and greyed at the temples. I quickly scanned the ambulance bay,
and thanked a god I could never decide whether to believe in for the fact that it was
deserted. I knew it wouldn’t stay that way for long. I needed answers quickly.
“Why did you attack me?”
I released the pressure on his throat enough for him to answer. He tried to shake his head
but gave up when I exerted a little more coercion.
"One more chance. Why?”
He coughed dryly and with a gagging sound. “Didn’t. Don’t know what . . . you
mean.” His words came out as though each was balanced on the thinnest edge of a breeze. I
pressed again. And his hand slapped down on the tarmac, as if submitting in a wrestling
bout.
“Why?”
“I . . . didn’t do anything. I swear it, man. Not me.”
I wondered for a moment. Obviously my attackers had been posing as ambulancemen.
And if this guy was one of them, would he still be here now, bothering to check tyre
pressures? Yet, how do three fake medics get away with an attack in broad daylight; three
men who had intended to hustle me into that ambulance? This ambulance. I recognised it from
the deep metal scar on its rear bumper: an image subconsciously noted in my memory when I’d
been bundled towards it.
“What’s your shift?”
His choked response came back, “Eight . . . to . . . four.”
I relaxed my foot a little. “Your job. What’s your job?”
“Maintenance. I clean them, check tyres, oil, water. Routine . . . stuff.”
“How many others work your shift?”
I fired these questions at him fast, alternately pressing and releasing my foot
against his throat—with the full weight of my body behind it. He was starting to pale,
probably going to vomit.
“Two. One. One other.”
“Make your mind up.”
“Normally two. One is off sick.”
“Where is the other?”
“Supply room.”
“For how long?”
The man hesitated. He couldn’t look at his watch so he had to guess. “About, about
. . . an hour.”
I did some guessing of my own. From leaving the scene of the attack, to
returning—fifteen minutes at most. “So you’ve been on your own a good half hour?”
“Yeah. Honest. I don’t know what your problem is, man. There’s just me—”
“Precisely! Just you. So if three impostors dressed up as ambulance medics and
messed with your vehicle, you’d know about it.”
He didn’t answer. In fact he closed his eyes for some reason. I wondered if he’d
passed out. On the radio in the garage I heard a clip of a News report about some guy in
another part of the city, holding a girl hostage. Something about Internet date rape. A man
who frequented chatrooms—(well, you and me both, pal, I thought). It was a man known on the
Net as Scaly.
Impossible!
I must’ve misheard. Either that or someone had chosen an unfortunate nickname. A
painful flash-memory reminded me what I didn’t want reminding of: the name Scaly died
thirty years ago. But they repeated his name. “Lenny Mitchell, also known as Scaly in
Internet chatrooms, where he enticed the woman, who can not be named at this stage, to a
meeting . . .” And so on.
Police marksmen were “attending” the scene. Well good for them! I could have used
some police marksmen on the scene about fifteen minutes ago. Tracy could have used some
last night.
The man’s eyes were still shut when he flapped his hand again. I let up on the
pressure. “Okay. Alright. I was paid to take a walk,” he said. “I’m part-time. I don’t earn
a lot and I don’t give a shit what goes on around here. Some guy shoves fifty quid in my
hand and tells me to disappear. I . . . I just went to the toilet. I have a bad gut. Spend
half my days in the toilet.”
I could see more than greed in his eyes. I saw fear, and I didn’t think it was only
me he was afraid of. “Wasn’t just the money, was it?”
“No. One of them . . . he . . . he was a fucking gorilla. He’d have hurt me. Worse
than you’re doing. I could see it in his face. The kind that enjoys hurting people. They
don’t pay me enough to be a hero.”
“No,” I muttered. “Don’t suppose they do. Shut your eyes again. Count to thirty.
Open them at the wrong time and I’ll crush your windpipe. Understand?”
He made a pained effort to nod.
I was gone and making my way through the main building by the time he would have
reached fifteen.
I still had to see Tracy. Maybe I’d find some answers there. Maybe I’d find nothing
more than the refreshed pain of losing her. Confusion was settling like thick fog.
I’m sceptical about coincidences. Tracy dead. I’m attacked on my way to say goodbye
to her corpse. A name I hadn’t heard for over three decades was probably going to get
professionally executed for going Chatroom-Crazy . . . and the weather had shifted from
drizzled grey to white heat!
What the hell was going on in Newcastle?
9
A crisp blue sky like ironed linen allowed a few drifting clouds to move across the sun:
they were quickly digested by the fierce yellow ball. Beaded sweat broke out on the exposed
flesh of a crowd enjoying the perfect summer’s morning and the madness on Lassiter Street.
Peterson was late getting to the scene. He ran over to where the negotiator
squatted, and behind the safety of the vehicle, doubled up to draw in some air. Finally he
got enough breath to spit on the ground, a couple of inches from Bill Reece’s left shoe.
Reece frowned. “For a skinny runt you ought to have more energy. And that’s a
disgusting habit, by the way.”
Peterson grinned. “It’s a disgusting world and I’ve got a disgusting taste in my
mouth. So fuck off.”
“Serves you right for piling French mustard on your dogs. Told you before, that
stuff’s not suitable for English bellies. Let me guess, were you on the shitter when the
shout went up?” The two men were crouched behind the bonnet of an ARV, a pistol in
Peterson’s fist, a bullhorn in Reece’s, the sun beating down mercilessly on their heads.
“His name’s Lenny Mitchell. And he’s got himself a young female hostage. That’s about all
we know at the moment. Unfortunately, the Media know it, too.”
“Already? How?”
“We’re the ringmasters in an electronic circus.”
“What?”
Reece shook sweat off his head, smiling without any real humour. “You’ll see.”
Until the armed response units, the local squad cars, the anti-terrorist unit and
the bomb squad had bludgeoned their way into this road, it had been a poor but relatively
quiet residential suburb of Newcastle. Now, police tape and uniformed officers had cordoned
off the area. Officers trained in the use of firearms, and siege analysts trained in the
use of psychopaths, were waiting. The crews of six ambulances and four fire engines were
also waiting. They sat in or near their vehicles, variously sipping coffee from thermos
flasks provided by neighbouring householders, updating their superiors through hand-held
radios. To what degree of patience they waited varied greatly with each individual.
Peterson was not one of the patient ones. He was all for storming the building and
shooting at anything that moved. It was the first situation he’d been called in to deal, in
which he had been authorised to draw a weapon. He was itching to make the most of it.
The voice, hoarse from shouting, came again through the upstairs front left window.
“We’ll burn in hell, you bastards. I mean it. The bitch will die and it will be your
fault!”
A balloon of thick grey smoke tumbled over the roof of the end terraced house,
breaking into snaking ribbons as it rose. The fire crews could only look on as the fire
worsened. The hostage-taker had made it plain, he didn’t trust any of them. No firemen; no
hoses, no water, no nothing. Or he’d kill the girl.
The two adjoining houses had been converted to flats some years back. Today, by the
ill-conceived actions of a delinquent, they had been converted to a crime scene. Peterson
would like to have relocated this scene to somewhere more glamorous. A high street bank
maybe. A major office complex.
Of all the mundane places to find yourself in your first siege situation . . .
As far as Peterson was concerned, this perp wasn’t too bright. Almost sure to be a
product of foster homes and detention centres, a man who’d rode the bus of misdemeanour
felonies all the way to the terminus of rape, kidnap and arson. Peterson already had him
pegged as a pathetic figure, made even more so by the futility of being one excitable
villain surmounted by an army of highly-trained police officers.
In truth, Peterson couldn’t have been more wrong in his appraisal of Lenny
Mitchell. But he would never know just how wrong he was.
The windows were smog-blackened, and flames were eating a steady track from the
rear of the building to the front. The top floor still remained fire-free, and there was no
apparent fire to the two floors below. But although the fire had evidently been started on
the ground floor, it was only a matter of time before the flames crawled up to the roof.
Assuming the dump didn’t fall flat on its haunches first.
The muffled sobs of the girl’s mother could be heard, despite the comforting of the
young constable, despite the splintering and buckling of timber and plaster. A light breeze
whispered through what was left of the building, and more ribbons of smoke breathed at the
sky.
Peterson prayed for a glimpse of the lunatic before the fire consumed him, so that
he could put his firearms’ training to good use. It would be a real strike to beat those
stolid-faced marksman on the trigger.
“We have confirmation on the gun,” said the negotiator. “But it’s only an air
pistol. Guess that’s why he used the fire.”
Peterson looked around. “You’ve seen the gun?”
“No. The silly bugger has as good as told us—and anyone else listening. Welcome to
the circus. Get this—he’s on-line, on a computer. He’s chatting away to an accomplice.” The
black man shrugged. “Can you believe the stupidity? These computer nerds can jack into the
World Wide Web and make microchips dance. But they haven’t got the brains to avoid getting
themselves into this kind of no-win shit. They—”
“Okay okay. Spare me the sociopath profiling.” Peterson had precious little
interest in the psychology of criminals, and his interest in computers was strictly for
entertainment. “Chatting, you said?”
Bill Reece was a big man, round-chested and thick-necked. His ebony skin was
streaked with sweat. Yet despite the heat, and the effect it had on his huge build, he
still emitted an air of lazy calm. Even in squat position, when he sighed it seem to crawl
up leisurely from his ample gut to his bulbous face. “He’s got an open line to a friend.
We’re monitoring from the van.” He nodded at the command vehicle. “Seems he’s asking for
advice. He didn’t plan on the fire getting so big. Set a small blaze going to make us back
off—then lost control of it.”
“We got anything we can use yet? Family, wife, girlfriend?”
The negotiating officer fiddled irritably with the radio receiver in his ear.
Plastic was hot; felt like it was melting into his head. “So far only what we’ve picked up
from the computer. And these nerds use so many aliases it takes a while to track down a
genuine ID. But we’ll get the rest soon enough. The girl’s e-mail gave us his name. Her
friend who called it in knew of him, from some Internet chatroom. Then the switchboard lit
up with this guy’s chat buddies calling to say they knew he was on-line. So we brought our
specialists along to see if they could listen in.”
Peterson looked exasperated. “How’d these ‘buddies’ know he was on a computer?”
“Our bad guy is using a fairly simple chat program—a direct messenger service.
Anyone on the same service logged in his computer address book knows when he’s on the wire.
Like I say, our boys tapped in, and that’s how we know about the air pistol. His friend
just told him to wave it around, and maybe we’d back off. Trouble is, our kid is losing it.
The fire has panicked him and he can’t see a way out of this mess. Despite his big threats,
he’s terrified out of his wits.”
Peterson looked back up at the window. And with no little sarcasm said, “So how’s
the negotiating coming along?”
“Not too well,” Reece mumbled. “He’s too hysterical to negotiate. Hold up.” A voice
crackled in his radio earpiece.
A few moments later he said, “Well, at least we now have a clue why he’s gone over
the edge. The girl was an Internet date. It went wrong. The girl was teasing about him not
being anything like he’d made out in the chatroom. He flipped, and the poor lass found
herself the victim of an Internet date rape. He’s been spilling his guts to his on-line
friend.”
“So what now? You haven’t even got a line of communication with this lunatic.
Unless you’re planning to go negotiate in a bloody chatroom with him.”
Reece had the patience of a man used to far more testy customers than this
over-zealous newbie. It was well-known that Peterson was a moody sycophant who had no time
for his colleagues but all the time in the world for the superiors who could promote his
career. Some high-level arse-kissing must have brought Detective David Peterson into this
traumatic situation today. And he was the last man Reece would want waving a gun around,
with license to pull the trigger at will.
Still taking info from the radio feed in his ear, Reece breathed out his
irritation. “Seems the man is being encouraged by the accomplice. Bargaining for his
freedom. Wants us to back up out of here or he’ll keep the girl and they’ll go down in
flames.”
Whilst the two men watched the fire spreading, the smoke thickening, waiting for
the next move from Lenny Mitchell, the technicians in the command vehicle were busy at
their computers. In addition to eavesdropping on the messenger chat, they had also traced
the accomplice, over four-hundred miles away in North London. Met police were on their way
there.
Outside, in the hazy stagnated street, Peterson looked up. He stared into the
crowd—looking for a face he knew he wouldn’t see.
If Sandra could see him now, it would validate everything she’d ever complained
about. She had left him three months earlier, as soon as his move to armed-response was
finalised. She wasn’t happy him being in the force in the first place. So the fact that he
seemed to get high on any part of the job which involved violence, showed a side of him
that frightened her. Peterson remembered the earlier days, when he’d get home from a nasty
crowd-control duty at a football ground . . . and he knew it showed—he couldn’t help it—the
glow, the high of the adrenaline rush that hit him when the riot gear went on and the
batons came out.
“Maybe I’ve got a death wish,” he muttered.
Reece heard him. “Why? You itching to charge in there? Because if you are, kiss
your career goodbye and don’t expect any sympathy from me.”
Peterson ignored him. No, of course he wasn’t ‘itching’ to charge into a
fire-ravaged building and risk the life of the hostage in the hope of putting a bullet into
the head of a misfit. But if Reece and his crew didn’t get something happening soon, they’d
all be blaming themselves for the girl’s death because of their inaction. Sooner or later
somebody was going to have to go in. And later was running out.
Peterson looked beyond the barricades, at the main street which carried on with its
business in an unconcerned way. The traffic rumbled listlessly on roads which looked wet
with heat-haze. And the pavements stunk. Obviously it was ‘rubbish’ day, because black bags
were piled all along the kerbsides, waiting to be gathered by the bin wagon which wouldn’t
now be coming.
What a miserable setting for his first armed operation.
But, despite that . . . supposing he did somehow get the man, and bring the hostage
out alive? What would Sandra think then? Maybe she’d finally understand that it does
sometimes take a sledgehammer to crack a nut.
Beyond the cordon, Peterson saw inquisitorial faces, anonymous and sweat-wet.
Maybe she wasn’t there, in amongst them, but this was a live scene—it was all over
the News already. More than one cameraman had been pushed back beyond the cordon. But they
had those zoom lenses, didn’t they? They could be focused on him right now. Sandra was
likely watching this on TV.
The onlookers swiped perspiration from their brows. They had ice creams melting in
their fists. They gawped with poised excitement. The open door of a pub on the High Street
let out the strains of Radar Love—an old classic rock track Peterson remembered from his
courting days.
The atmosphere contrived to make him feel as though he were on a stage.
A small fair-haired girl—maybe eight or nine years old—plaited hair and short
summer dress, stared intently at him. He became self-conscious for a moment, but that
didn’t stop him admiring the pencil-thin lightly-tanned legs beneath her dress. Aware
suddenly of his role in this drama, Peterson looked back at her, smiling. Then,
ridiculously, he winked, and twirled the pistol around his trigger finger.
He looked away quickly when Bill Reece laughed. His face flushed with
embarrassment. Yet despite being caught off-guard for that moment, still he felt that the
part he was casting for himself in this stage-drama . . . well, it suited him! And no one
else was doing a damn thing except playing with bloody computers.
Good God Almighty—let the snotnosed brat poke his head out of that damn window for
just five seconds.
Peterson was overwhelmed with a sense of his own heroic role. In moments that
flooded his brain with a brief chemical madness, he became the only hope that poor girl
had. He is the hero that isn’t supposed to belong in the modern police force. He is dubbed
by the media ‘Dirty Harry’—the man that defies the book, but gets the job done.
If only!
The modern force didn’t allow for ‘Dirty Harry’ policing. Showing a little
initiative these days was the fastest route back to uniformed beat patrol.
The shrill chime of his mobile phone broke into his thoughts. “Shit. Hang on a
minute.”
Bill Reece laughed. “Sure. We’ll hang on while you take your call. Do let us know
when the situation is okay to proceed.”
Peterson, still squatting, turned his back to lean against the vehicle. “Hello?”
“Hello, Detective. My name is Carlin. It is most important that I speak with you.”
Peterson tapped the phone with his knuckles. There was something wrong with the
connection. The voice in the earpiece sounded robotic, like one of those synthetic
computer-generated voices. “Listen, mate, this is not the best time to sell me
double-glazing. I’m in the middle of—”
“I know what you’re in the middle of, Detective. In fact I can see clearly what
you’re in the middle of. Look up to the traffic lights. You’ll see a small security camera
watching over this fascinating scene. And I’m watching over you.”
Peterson glanced up, saw the camera. “Who the hell are you and what do you want?”
he growled.
“Well, as to who I am, you may call me GiftHorse—a pseudonym I borrowed for this
situation, which allows me to impersonate the friend of a confused and frightened man in a
burning flat. By the way, I’m sorry to have disappointed your officers who by now will
undoubtedly have raided a deserted apartment in Wembley, finding only the notebook computer
I left behind. But as to what I want . . . well, here comes the candle to light you to bed.
And here comes the chopper to chop off your head.”
Peterson’s mind raced through a gallery of flashing memories and scattered phrases,
none of which made sense. But they were important. He knew they were important. He saw a
man in his mind’s eye, typing sick suggestions into a chatroom screen. Here comes the
candle to light you to bed, and here comes the chopper to chop off your head…
That sick paedophile was himself.
“I must inform you that I am well aware of your little hobby.”
Peterson pressed the phone close against his head. “What do you mean, my hobby?”
“Your penchant for visiting certain Internet chatrooms, in which you sweet-talk the
naïve little children who have no inclination of the kind of pervert you are.”
David Peterson had shivers sprinting the length of his spine. “How do you . . . I
mean, what in God’s name are you talking about?”
“Don’t waste time in denial, Detective. I have proof. And if it weren’t too late to
warn you, I would suggest that for future reference you protect your computer from
intruders. Intruders like me, who can rearrange the duty roster on the mainframe of a
constabulary system to make sure that you were called to this particular scene.”
Peterson’s mind spun. Good God! When he got the call it had seemed to good to be
true. But could this jerk truly have done that? Broken into the police computer
network—fixed it so that he, Peterson, ended up here today? “What do you want from me,
apart from the opportunity to brag?”
“What I want is for you to do only what you’re desperate to do anyway. I want you
to ignore the fumbling reticence of your black colleague. I want you to get into that
building and do your duty. The man, Lenny Mitchell, is a menace to society. And the only
effective way to remove this menace is to shoot the little devil’s brains out the back of
his head. Do this for me, Detective Peterson, and you will never hear from me again. Your
tacky sexual orientation shall remain your business, and your business alone—though I
suspect your wife has some inkling of it but that’s no concern of mine.”
There was a pause, within which Peterson was unaware of the bustle in the crime
scene around him, unaware of the TV News’ cameras panning, unaware of everything but the
terrifying realisation that someone knew of his personal and demanding desires which he had
always been sure were secreted on his hidden laptop computer.
Understanding that he was being blackmailed, by a man whose voice was disguised by
some kind of distortion gadget, a man who wanted—truthfully—what he wanted himself . . .
Peterson felt his anger turn to fear. His career, his marriage, his very safety in an
intolerant society, were all in jeopardy if this man was prepared to expose him. Was he
bluffing? No—Peterson didn’t believe he was. It had come as one hell of a surprise to find
himself assigned to this detail, so fresh from the training program that permitted him to
carry a weapon. This man had arranged everything, but for what purpose?”
“Why do you want him dead?”
The synthesised voice replied: “Because there is a much bigger picture here than
you could possibly imagine, Detective. Now do your job. Go in there, take the rapist down,
and make sure that our atrociously ineffective legal system doesn’t allow a man like that
to ever walk the streets again.”
“Hey, when you’ve quite finished, you want to get your arse over here a minute,
lad. I’m getting an update on the situation. You haven’t time for sweet-talking your bloody
wife or mistress or whoever the hell it is.”
Peterson waved his hand dismissively at Bill Reece. “Yes, yes, I’m coming, get out
of my face. This is important.”
“Detective,” the voice said insistently, “think of this, if it helps. As a
policeman you have dabbled in the madness of mankind as though it were some kind of idle
past-time, a fancy with which to pass a few empty hours. But now you have a gun—and the
authority to use it at your discretion. Now you have the power to eradicate this madness.
Yours are unique skills, David Peterson. In a society which relies so heavily upon its
advanced technology for survival and progress, you possess the one gift which is beyond
compare. The courage to act upon your convictions, no matter the consequence or criticism.”
“It’s not that simple,” Peterson whispered. “I can’t just blaze a trail into that
building, no matter how much I’d like to. There’s rules, protocols. And I need—”
“You need do only what your conscience suggests—and what I insist!”
The line went dead.
Peterson knew that he had no choice but to follow the urgency in his blood-thirsty
soul, and the demands of the mysterious caller. He looked up at the camera again, knowing
that somewhere some clever bastard was watching over him, had been watching over him for
God-knew how long, and that his life was in this voyeur’s hands.
So now he is walking hurriedly towards the side-door of the building, whilst the
upstairs window is flooding with smoke, blinding Lenny Mitchell to Peterson’s movements. He
is ignoring the yells from Bill Reece—“What the fuck are you doing?—for God’s sake get back
here and . . . ”
He is unconcerned with Reece shouting. Reece has been informed by a confused
technician that someone called Jackson has hacked into their system, and delivered them a
message.
<<< Lenny is going to kill himself. His so-called friend, GiftHorse—has arranged things to
end that way. Lenny doesn’t know it but he has no choice. Unless you stop him. >>>
Reece has also been informed that they lost the accomplice. They found a computer
in an abandoned tenement flat in Wembley, still hooked to the web. But no accomplice.
Peterson is unaware of all this behind-the-scenes stuff. Unaware too that the girl
hostage has stumbled from the back yard of the house, walking like a shell-shocked war
veteran into the throng of madness on the street.
He is in the building now, kicking broken door frames aside, heedless of the
approach of flames, picking his way up the broken staircase, gun extended, safety off,
blood-red veins pulsing in his eyes, holding his breath from the toxic fumes.
He has found the room and stepped through the wreckage of its doorway. The man is
sat on the floor, knees drawn upto his chest and his arms locked around them. He is rocking
back and forth, oblivious to Peterson’s presence. The girl has gone. She must have
escaped—leaving the crazed nerd to nurse his own insanity.
There is just David Peterson and Lenny Mitchell. And Peterson has a firearm that
mocks the silly air pistol discarded by the man’s feet. The policeman understands all of
this in moments of fury. He has been robbed. Robbed of the chance to save the girl. Robbed
of the chance to be a hero.
The man looks up at Peterson, staring in dumb stupidity at the pistol.
Peterson raises his arm to fire. He will put a precise hole in the forehead of
Lenny fucking Mitchell and say he had no choice. Because even an air pistol can do serious
damage at close range. Peterson will say he was protecting his own life. And Peterson will
pray to God Almighty that the man who called him on his cellular phone will honour his
promise. No one must ever know of his depraved appetites, diagrammed in Internet Chatrooms
which he has been penetrating for months, masquerading as a fourteen year-old, trying to
lure naïve young girls into IRL meetings.
The lighted match which Lenny has been holding for just a few seconds falls from
his hand.
Peterson notices too late that he is standing in a pool of paraffin. A small heater
lays on its side, and a canister has spilt its contents across the charred floorboards.
Flames streak, suddenly and brutally, toward the policeman. He never gets to see the
computer screen which lays on the floor by the villain, nor the message text scrolling left
to right, repeating itself over and over . . .
<<<Scaly??? Lenny Mitchell??? My name is Thomas Jackson. Don’t let this happen. You’ve been
used by GiftHorse, and by myself. I am so sorry. I had to protect someone, but I never
meant for you to get so involved. You didn’t rape anyone. You were set up. There’s been too
much blood . . . too much. And there’ll be more. I don’t want your death on my conscience.
It was all my fault—my fault! GIVE YOURSELF UP BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!>>>
There is an explosion, which to Peterson is like the detonation of applause after a
stage show. It’s the last thing he ever hears.
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