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Downfall
Posted: 15 April 2013
Word Count: 36
Summary: A random event for Jonathon's Challenge.
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Downfall
Coffee
Hard hot black
Caffeine in a flowered cup, no saucer
Frost across the balcony
Slippers remain true to name
Rose stems snap, shatter
As porcelain
Smacks the sidewalk
Stained tee epitaph:
World’s Greatest Dad
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Comments by other Members
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 Artista at 19:51 on 15 April 2013
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Dave, this is great. I can just see and hear the smash. I love 'slippers remain true to name' and your witty use of the Tee.
Jo
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 Nella at 09:46 on 16 April 2013
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That's a lovely little description of your "random event", and a good take on the challenge. I could really hear that cup smashing on the sidewalk. And how badly you felt, having broken that cup received from your child. (How many memories in a cup!)
I found "Stained tee epitaph" a little confusing - At first I was reading "tea", which didn't make sense, as it was coffee in the cup. Even now that I realize you probably meant "T", maybe as in a "T" shape, the image doesn't quite work for me.
Robin
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 FelixBenson at 10:09 on 16 April 2013
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Hi Dave
Clever and funny. Loved this too. The random word generator has certainly generated some great poems!
K
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 Dave Morehouse at 13:05 on 16 April 2013
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Thanks to Jo, Robin, and Kirsty for your kindness. The 'tee' is one of those T-shirts that claims World's Greatest Dad. The cup, however, is a complete loss. ; Thanks again, Dave.
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Nella at 20:05 on 16 April 2013
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Ah - I get it. The T-shirt is stained. That makes sense.
Robin
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Neezes at 21:49 on 16 April 2013
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Very nice! Or not - shame for that lost cup! I love poems which focus on a specific moment in time, a brief but significant event, which this does very well. Jo Shapcott's 'All Flesh Is' is another such poem, I recommend it
Jonathan
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Dave Morehouse at 22:21 on 16 April 2013
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Jonathon - Thanks so much for pointing me to Jo Shapcott. I haven't yet found "All Flesh Is" but if it's anything like her other work it must be great. I hadn't heard of her before so this is a wonderful find for me. Thanks again. I am looking to Mr. Amazon to find and buy whichever book of hers contains that particular poem. Regards, Dave.
<Added>
I got so wound up over Ms Shapcott that I forgot to thank you for your kind words regarding my poem. Thanks. I think one of the great strengths of WW membership, beyond the constructive member comments, is the outside network of poems that we share. Jonathon's recommendation of Jo Shapcott, for me, is a perfect case in point. Dave
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Flyswat at 15:23 on 17 April 2013
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Slippers remain true to name
Without doubt, in my opinion, the best line of the week so far! I was, like some others, a little confused by the use of 'tee' at first. Thank God for discussions! Great poem.
Heath
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Dave Morehouse at 15:38 on 17 April 2013
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My thanks to Oonah and Heath. Yes, that single line sets up the entire poem. The "tee" was originally written as T-Shirt but I hated the way it broke the rhythm of the final stanza. In the States "tee" is commonly used as a colloquialism for the shirt. (Plain White Tees is a popular band.) Perhaps, though, I should put T-Shirt back in to prevent confusion at an important point in the poem. Thanks again, Dave.
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 crowspark at 19:25 on 18 April 2013
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Hi Dave. Like others I was bemused by tee but now it all falls into place. Excellent poem.
Bill
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Neezes at 23:12 on 18 April 2013
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hehe yes great line...For me 'tee' worked fine, yes I had to think about it but it was ok and I agree that t-shirt would have sounded wrong.
The poem I mentioned is in her book 'Of Mutability'.
Jonathan
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Dave Morehouse at 02:30 on 19 April 2013
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Thanks to Bill and Jonathon. I happy that you enjoyed the poem. "Of Mutability" I ordered sight unseen based on your previous recommendation. It is supposed to arrive Tuesday or Wednesday. I'm excited to begin reading it. Thanks again, Dave.
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tusker at 09:15 on 19 April 2013
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Excellent, Dave.
A great scene painted in few but telling words.
Jennifer
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Comments by other Members
V`yonne
