School run by joanie - WriteWords.org.uk

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School run

by joanie

Posted: 04 October 2012
Word Count: 36
Summary: My response to the challenge in Flash Poetry

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Sitting
here, stuck
in the essential
traffic which
serves to deliver
offspring
to the appropriate
place
in the scheme
of things,

I look back
into the anonymous
windscreen.

Driver stressed,
passenger chewing
the cud
of adolescence.

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plurabelle at 19:48 on 05 October 2012 Report this post

Thank you, Joanie, for your wryly amused take on the challenge. I looked at some of your previous work, and this seems to have your hallmark- a detached but friendly attitude. I loved the "passenger chewing
the cud
of adolescence."

Una.

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Dave Morehouse at 13:18 on 06 October 2012 Report this post

Hi Joanie. the first stanza read almost like a run-onsentence for me. It helps to create the same tension our MC is experiencing. I like that. As Una observed, the last stanza is wonderful. Unique, clever, and appropriate to the poem. Nicely done. Dave

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joanie at 16:16 on 06 October 2012 Report this post

Thanks very much, Una and Dave. Much appreciated. joanie

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V`yonne at 12:47 on 07 October 2012 Report this post