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by roovacrag 

Posted: 09 January 2004
Word Count: 118

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You tore him away from me,
took his organs too.
I fought so hard to save him
why didn't you.

He died a whole man
you had him torn apart.
He didn't want his body segregated,
you did it in one.

I blinded your eyes with my fingers,
arrested for it as well.
I cried a million tears
phantom i am.

I will haunt you
for the rest of my days.
You took from me my loved one
his soul is here to stay.

He will haunt you
so will i,
hate is a real thing
sacrifice is not.

Take care whoever you are,
he was my only one.
Flounder you might right now,
beware,your nightmare has begun.

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Comments by other Members

Fearless at 17:31 on 09 January 2004  Report this post

To some this would be unsettling, as if you could come into their dreams, rearrange the scenes, and turn them into nightmares. I find it hard to pick any one line or stanza out for mention, but the whole piece certainly has something......a subtle menace perhaps? Good piece.


poemsgalore at 18:31 on 09 January 2004  Report this post
This is a brilliant piece of work Alice, so horrific and yet at the same time poignant (from the point of view of the narrator). I like the warning at the end - or is it a threat?

roovacrag at 21:27 on 09 January 2004  Report this post
Thank you both for your comments. Thats what nightmares are something not real. xx Alice

Rai15 at 22:36 on 09 January 2004  Report this post
I really like this, somehow it had me guessing as I scrolled down reading it. Reaching the end, I was (and am) amazed at the piece as a whole. Exceedingly distinctive, which adds to its splendour.

Lovely (from my unique point of view).
Thank you.


Bobo at 09:00 on 10 January 2004  Report this post
Alice - dark, menacing, gutsy, vehement - such powerful writing.

BoBo x

The Walrus at 09:46 on 10 January 2004  Report this post
Can only endorse the above Alice. I understand the sentiment, the rage, the frustration, the pain and the ultimate defiance. But, would dare to suggest that hatred against others can only lead to self hatred and bitterness. Acceptance, surely is the only way to ultimately defeat. Don't get me wrong, I am not undermining the feelings expressed in the poem, but I do feel that for those left behind, they need to come to a point of peaceful reconciliation.

It remains, however, as said before, a brilliant and powerful piece of work.

The Walrus

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