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MY GIFT TO YOU
Posted: 07 January 2004
Word Count: 66
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I give you this
a painting i did.
Part of my heart
part of my soul.
A river to escape from
a hill to climb
branch from a tree
early morning rise.
Amber
gold
orange
brown.
This is my life
all sublime.
When i have gone
from this life hence.
You will look at this,
recall and smile.
This was my friend.
A gift for life.
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Comments by other Members
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 The Walrus at 14:52 on 07 January 2004
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Gentle and moving Alice. I'm sure the lucky recipient will treasure your gift and undoubtedly recall and smile.
Lovely piece.
The Walrus
x
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Fearless at 15:32 on 07 January 2004
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Al
I am sure that all who admire the paintings on your wall will be very grateful to receive one as a gift. As Walrus says, very gentle.
fearless
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poemsgalore at 18:29 on 07 January 2004
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Alice, if your paintings are as good as your poems, you should have them in the Tate Gallery. This is a lovely piece.
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roovacrag at 10:41 on 08 January 2004
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Thank you for your comments but my paintings are not that. I just aim to please. xx Alice
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miffle at 11:01 on 10 January 2004
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Alice,
I liked this piece - reminded me of this carol ( i can't recall it's name) the lyrics of which I have always loved..
"What shall I give him, poor as I am
If I were a shepherd I would give a lamb.
If I were a wiseman I would do my part
Yet what I can I give him, give my heart".
Gifts from the heart are certainly priceless and I just wonder how many people who receive them truly value them as such (?). I, personally, have learnt to be careful who I give them to...
nicola
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miffle at 11:24 on 10 January 2004
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Alice,
Just a thought re. things technical -
I felt that a couple of punctuation marks (in the last 2 verses) were halting the flow of the poem and also (in one instance) creating a meaning that perhaps you didn't intend (?). I know that punctuating poems is a subjective thing (and one I'd like to learn more about!) but I thought that this was worth a mention.
My query was with the fullstops after 'hence' and 'friend' because it seems to me that perhaps you don't need them (?). It seems to me that:
a) 'When I have gone/ from this life hence/' flows on in sense to the next two lines (?)
and that,
b) 'This was my friend' flows on in sense to 'a gift for life' (?).
* I guess that my query here is are you referring to 'your friend the person' (my hunch)(?) or to 'your friend the painting' (?). I think at present that your punctuation suggests that 'the painting is your friend'(?).
I guess that if you took the fullstop out here then both meanings would be suggested (?)...
"This was my friend
a gift for life".
kind regards, nicola
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roovacrag at 18:41 on 10 January 2004
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Nicola,
yes this was a friend a special one. Very rare i sell a painting,prefer to give to those who like and enjoy what they see. I soon know if they don't like. My friends are as abrupt as me.Writing like painting is giving a part of yourself, give it freely or not at all.
xxx ALICE
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Lawrenco at 18:13 on 11 April 2004
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A lovely poem a lovely sentiment H
<Added>
Happy Easter (its that H thing!0H)
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